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To be happy for my ex

(15 Posts)
terrorinthenighttime Mon 24-Apr-17 09:52:38

My DD father is also one of my best friends. We didn't work as a couple but he is an amazing person. He attended my wedding 2 years ago even driving me to the venue.

Last week he got engaged to his GF and they are expecting a baby soon. I am so happy for him on both fronts.

My soon to be ExDH says it's wrong to be so happy and excited for them. He says it's confusing the children. I don't see how being happy for a good friend is bad. AIBU or is ex just messing with my head again.

ProudBadMum Mon 24-Apr-17 09:54:08

By happy are you dancing around and organising baby showers or did you just say congratulations?

Does it really matter what your ex thinks though?

MrsJayy Mon 24-Apr-17 09:57:21

Your ex is being defensive and immature and probably envious it is much better you are friendly with your Dds dad than being bitter and fighting,

MiddleClassProblem Mon 24-Apr-17 09:57:49

It's great for your DD that you have a brilliant relationship. Great for all all round. There's a reason DH is soon to be ex. Was he jealous of it? I'm guessing it added to the reason you're splitting after 2 yrs.

terrorinthenighttime Mon 24-Apr-17 10:00:10

I bought them a card and engagement present and I've picked up some cute outfits for the baby when it's born. Nothing more then they did for us really.

My ex is doing my head in because he needs to save up to get his own place. He keeps saying I'm confusing the kids. I can't see how.

terrorinthenighttime Mon 24-Apr-17 10:01:14

DH had an affair and I can't forgive him for it.

ProudBadMum Mon 24-Apr-17 10:01:18

Well the baby will be related to your DD so don't know what's confusing her?

I wouldn't have done that for my ex but then again we don't get on but I did let my son pick something to give his little brother as he asked if he could.

LetsSplashMummy Mon 24-Apr-17 10:01:43

I think it is lovely that you are happy for your DD to be getting a new brother or sister. Your DD must be a bit excited and it would be much more confusing for her if she felt she was supposed to hide it around you. I think it is lovely that you can have such a healthy relationship with an ex. I don't think it is very lovely that your more recent partner behaves like this.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Mon 24-Apr-17 10:02:56

Yanbu. It's a shame it doesn't look like you'll have such a good relationship with stbexDH (because he's a pillock).

MidnightAura Mon 24-Apr-17 10:06:16

I think it's lovely.

It's much easier for the children if the parents get on. My parents still can't be in the same room together and they divorced almost 20 years ago!

Dishwashersaurous Mon 24-Apr-17 10:07:25

Do you have children with your husband?

If you have children with someone they will always be in your life. Whereas if you don't once you split then there is no need to ever speak again.

Is your husband realising that you won't be in contact with him ever again. Is he trying to not split up

sailorcherries Mon 24-Apr-17 10:12:53

If I had the same relationship with my DS dad it would make my life so much easier.

So far then knob head has told my son he doesn't need to see baby in hospital after he's born, because it's not important. His mother has also said, in front of DS, that "they'll happily have DS every weekend as opposed to EOW to stop him feeling pushed out by the baby as at least their family cares for him".
DS dad also insists on picming arguements with me and letting me know he doesn't care I'm heavily pregnant and stress isn't good.

I say you are behaving very maturely and setting a lovely example for DD.

Pinkheart5915 Mon 24-Apr-17 10:19:27

I think it's absouletly fine. As you say some people just don't work as a couple but still like each other as a person etc.

I also think when dc are involved better that the 2 parents get along than war- so much better for the child. Also the new baby will be your dd sibling so I can't see the issue tbh.

My dh and his ex don't have children, dh only has dc with me. But him and his ex are really good friends, we went to her wedding, she comes to parties we have etc. They just didn't work as a couple but do as friends

LemonSqueezy0 Mon 24-Apr-17 10:31:36

Has your most recent ex always had this problem? In any case, he's projecting because he'd rather your (nice) Ex was in the dog house with him. Keep doing what works for you, your Ex and DD, don't let him spoil that relationship to suit his own feelings. He's trying to manipulate you. Prick.

MiddleClassProblem Mon 24-Apr-17 10:58:01

If he's stbxh then it doesn't matter what he thinks anyway tbh

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