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To expect to not tidy/clean 13yo room?

(6 Posts)
Ihaveabloodyheadache Fri 21-Apr-17 23:11:48

According to 13yo in question I'm the most terrible parent ever because she is asked to keep one room, that she uses exclusively, clean and tidy (I'm realistic, she's a teen, I don't expect military cleanliness)
According to her, and a few friends with kids similar ages, I should be doing it as part of 'parenting' - bit shocked really, I was expected to keep my room tidy and she's 13, not 3! From age 4/5 I've gradually increased her responsibilities in her room from putting her toys away up to now hoovering, dusting and changing the bed. So it's not like I've done all of a sudden, she's just suddenly come out with it, saying she thinks I'm being awful by not tidying and cleaning her room in line with my other parental duties as well as tidy the rest of the house after her as she sheds possessions like a bird does feathers

I do go in sometimes and blitz, collect clothes, rubbish, turn the mattress etc, but in general I don't expect that I need to provide a service akin to hotel housekeeping every day!

At what age did/do you expect your DC to take on the responsibility of keeping their own space tidy?

FrancisCrawford Fri 21-Apr-17 23:20:45

Under 13 for sure.

That's not to say it actually happened.

If she wants to live in a tip, let her. Just keep the bedroom door shut.

Oh, and don't engage with the "But everyone else's parents do X, Y and Z" because it's rarely true and never relevant.

If you want to stop her scattering debris in her wake, pick the stuff up and hide it. Then when she moans she can't find it, ask her where she last saw it. If the answer is "I threw it down and expected you to run after me like a skivvy" you can give her a hard stare a la Paddington. And let her ruminate on that for a while. Then return the things with a warning that the next time, things are confiscated for a week. Sheer laziness and bratty, entitled behaviour need to be nipped in the bud.

SoloDance Fri 21-Apr-17 23:22:25

I used the shut the door on it method.

SoloDance Fri 21-Apr-17 23:24:04

The hard paddinton stare is a MN myth

Biffsboys Fri 21-Apr-17 23:26:18

My ds is 20 - I've been closing the door for 4 years angry

gamerchick Fri 21-Apr-17 23:27:55

The hard paddinton stare is a MN myth

Can't get the technique right huh?

Would be a very brave youngling who said it was my job to clean up after them have to admit. I wouldn't be shutting the door on the mess neither.

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