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AIBU?

'DP' out all night, phone turned off

20 replies

whyIsARavenLikeAWritingDesk · 18/04/2017 00:51

I just need a hand to hold, my so called DP went to work at 9 this morning came home at 6 to say he was going for a few drinks!
He's still not home, I've sent a text-no answer, I've phoned-phone turned off!
I have a 18 week DD and a dog that needs to go out, 'DP' takes him out at night so I don't have to disrupt DD routine!
He's done this once before about 3 years ago and didn't come home until I went to work in the morning and turned it all to be my fault when I questioned him on it!!

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Alisvolatpropiis · 18/04/2017 00:55

His phone has probably run out of battery, rather than him deliberately turning it off.

However I'd be raging. Completely inappropriate behaviour on his part.

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Goldfishjane · 18/04/2017 00:56

Excellent username.
It wasn't your fault he went AWOL last time and also not this time. I vote for bolting the door and going to bed I'm afraid.

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whyIsARavenLikeAWritingDesk · 18/04/2017 00:57

This is very true as he is pretty useless at keeping it charged, however he has an iwatch so don't know how that works, does the phone need to be on?
I know it sounds pathetic but I can't sleep when he's not here! What if I needed to contact him regarding DD?
I'm raging!!! He's the one that's worrying I'm not coping with DD( I am i just want him to step up) and then he goes and does this!!! KNOB!!!!

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BastardGoDarkly · 18/04/2017 00:59

Can you let the dog in the garden?

I agree, it wasn't your fault last time, and this time is taking the absolute piss, where was he last time?

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Alisvolatpropiis · 18/04/2017 01:01

Oh and it's not your fault this time, just as it wasn't your fault last time.

He's being a selfish arsehole.

I think the phone needs to be one for the iwatch to receive messages, but not 100% sure.

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whyIsARavenLikeAWritingDesk · 18/04/2017 01:01

Unfortunately not, we live in a flat above a pub, there is the option of just putting him on the street but I don't really feel comfortable leaving DD even though it's just one flight of stairs! Dog is good at holding it though, when I was in labour he went 26 hrs without and didn't even mess! Off topic I know,
Last time he was at a friends house but we have moved miles and miles away so definitely not there, I don't know the town very well and don't know who he's with! Inconsiderate prick!!

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whyIsARavenLikeAWritingDesk · 18/04/2017 01:03

Ok so I've just rung again, he answered so was somewhere with no service (not uncommon here) he says he's on his way home! He only had £30 on him for fuck sake!!!!

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Goldfishjane · 18/04/2017 01:05

phone has to be on for iwatch to receive alerts.

Sorry op but I wonder if him thinking you aren't coping really means "why do I have to do anything".

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Goldfishjane · 18/04/2017 01:05

Oh cross post.

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Alisvolatpropiis · 18/04/2017 01:06

Take the dog outside for a wee. You'll be no further away from the baby than if you lived in a house and took him to the back garden.

I'm not sure what to say to you re his behaviour that won't further fan the flames of your (entirely justified and reasonable) anger. However, I remember what it was like having a very little baby and being wound up further probably won't be helpful.

I think you may look back on this as a "the moment I knew..." incident, a few months down the line. I know there was one with my now ex when our daughter was similarly aged to yours.

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Alisvolatpropiis · 18/04/2017 01:07

Oops ignore me!

Glad it's a signal issue not him a selfish wanker issue though!

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avamiah · 18/04/2017 01:08

OP,
Glad he's on his way home.
Relax now.

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whyIsARavenLikeAWritingDesk · 18/04/2017 01:09

I think it is a selfish issue too though! I wouldn't mind so much if he did anything for our DD! He doesn't!!! I think you could be right about the lightbulb moment though, only time will tell I guess!
I definitely am coping, he knows this, just when I ask him to do anything this is said to me!
He's going to come in and wake DD I just know it, if he does I'm going in the spare room!!

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Alisvolatpropiis · 18/04/2017 01:16

Mmm it could perhaps still be a catalyst moment.

Absolutely leave him to it, assuming he's not overly drunk, if he wakes the baby!

Does he think he does a lot with the baby when in reality, he does not? Or is he fully aware he's not pulling his weight and just doesn't care?

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gluteustothemaximus · 18/04/2017 01:23

I think the lightbulb moment comes when you realise...what would life be like without DP? And if the answer is, no different (in terms of parenting) but less stress (because you haven't his antics to worry about) then there's your answer.

But. Not knowing you at all, maybe it'll take time for your DP to step up.

Congratulations on your DD. Hope you get some sleep, as when you're wound up, it's hard x

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whyIsARavenLikeAWritingDesk · 18/04/2017 01:31

I think he's had his lightbulb moment either that or he's just too pissed!! Declaring undying love for me and DD!
I've made him take the dog out though, his lovely meal I spent ages making is going to be shit but I can't wait for my alarm to go off in the morning!!!! DD doesn't wake early thankfullly!

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whyIsARavenLikeAWritingDesk · 18/04/2017 01:35

O but he's been in a fight defending some lass from a group of lads, I don't actually care at the minute he can tell me all about it tomorrow!

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ButteredCrumpetNow · 18/04/2017 01:37

What a dick!

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Insomnibrat · 18/04/2017 01:45

Sounds like a complete bellend.
You need his support, not some pissed up girl on the street.
Fuck that for a game.

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TeacupsAndDaffodils · 18/04/2017 02:06

Flowers He is a complete twat. You and your dc deserve better

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