To think he seems great about from this one thing?

[MadisonMont]

He uses the phrase "that's gay" to describe something bad.

[SmurfPants]

I hope you challenged him on it

[ProudBadMum]

Is he 12? If so he will grow out of it..

If not then that would annoy the shit out me. I'd have to say 'oh really, it's a same sex relationship' or 'it doesn't look happy'

Or just fuck him off.

[Gallavich]

That's really unacceptable. If he's just a guy you're dating then bin. If he's a long term partner then challenge him.

[harderandharder2breathe]

He sounds about 12. Not an attractive quality. (Unless he is 12 and you're also 12... actually no calling things gay stlll isn't attractive)

[SuperPug]

Not dump worthy but it is cringe worthy. Perhaps other people haven't pulled him up on it and it's acceptable with his friends etc. Gauge his reaction when you pull him up on it.

[SheldonsSpot]

I'd try "wow, I've never heard anyone over the age of about 11 say that" and see what his reaction is.

[nympthinyellow]

I occasionally catch DH saying it (he works in a macho 'banter' workplace) and deride him/ pull him up when he lets it slip. We've now decided on 'that's trumpish' and he's been free of it for nearly a year now

[HeyCat]

Pull him up on it, then see how he reacts. A lot of people use that phrase without thinking through how offensive it is - if he can see that it's wrong and agree not to use it again once you've pointed it out then I wouldn't worry about it.

If he gets defensive, or insists on carrying on using it then I'd see that as a bad sign.

[CuppaTeaTeddy]

How old is he? Dump him.

The comments on here made me laugh.

[Trills]

If you are both quite young, I would be saying "you sound about 12, stop saying that" until he either dumped me or stopped saying it.

If you're in your 30s, it's not forgivable (in my book) that he hasn't learned this lesson already.

[Doublevodkaredbull]

Gay is not a synonym for shitty.

[PeaFaceMcgee]

you know saying that makes you sound like a twat, don't you?

[cardibach]

Challenge every time. I teach teenagers. When they say x is gay as a criticism I respond EVERY TIME with 'I'm pretty sure x doesn't have a sexual orientation'. (I'm assuming here it isn't people he's using it as an insult for - that would be much worse .) I'm so boring they generally don't say it in my hearing anymore.

[SelfObsessionHoney]

DP said this the other day. About a cardigan. Ripped him apart for it. It's homophobic and entirely unnecessary.

[greenworm]

I'd care more about whether he was actually homophobic or not than whether he used that phrase, which lots of people just use unthinkingly.

Has he said/done actual things to lead you to believe he has a problem with gay people?

[SmileEachDay]

I do exactly the same cardibach - so much so that the teens I teach a lot do it for me if anyone uses "gay" as an insult in my hearing.

Pull the guy up on it for sure.

[yorkshapudding]

I have literally only ever heard that phrase used by teenage boys, and most of them seem to grow out of it before they hit 16!
At worst he's a homophobe, which is indefensible. At best he's immature, which would be a real turn off for me. If he's immature and thoughtless in the language he chooses then I'd be willing to bet he's immature and thoughtless in other ways which may yet reveal themselves to you!

[ClopySow]

My teenagers were actually offended by it so it must be really really uncool.

[AtrociousCircumstance]

I hate that shit. At the very least tell him how homophobic and stupid he's being using that phrase and let him know it's a deal breaker.

[andintothefire]

This phrase makes me so angry. My ex used it occasionally but after I pulled him up on it once or twice he made a conscious effort not to use it. I think it's normally used lazily rather than with any homophobic intention, but it still makes the person who uses it sound really stupid and ignorant!