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So so tired I've had enough.

(12 Posts)
jmh740 Thu 13-Apr-17 22:39:41

I work in a school so luckily on school holidays now. Last week when I was still at work my dad was taken into hospital and was there all week I visited each night after work. My husband has MS was diagnosed last year we are all still coming to terms with what this means for him and for us as a family. This week my 10 year old is at brownie camp dropped her off Monday have to pick her up 10am tomorrow I told ds 7 we would have some time together he requested a trip to Manchester to a museum. On Monday oh came home early from work with chest pains. He has some narrowing of the arteries and is due to have an angioplasty next Tuesday. I rang an ambulance and he was eventually sent home they said he just needed to cope until Tuesday and see his gp for pain killers and a nitrate spray which we did. On Tuesday even with the nitrate spray and pain killers the pains were much worse I rang 111 they sent an ambulance at 8pm he was finally seen at 6am after sitting on a chair in the corridor for 10 hours, again told nothing they could really do and that the angioplasty should help. I got a couple of hours of sleep and then had to get up with ds we had a boring day watching films. I told him I would take him to soft play today which I did, he's been so good about everything but I know he was really looking forward to a few days with my undivided attention which he hasn't had. Apart from trips to A&E and the gp and a few hours at work on Monday oh has been in bed since he got home from work on friday. Today the hospital rang to cancel his angioplasty no idea when he will have it now.
I'm exhausted I'm fed up of holding it together and being strong for everyone I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

daisygirlmac Thu 13-Apr-17 22:42:08

Oh bless you what a horrible time you're having. I have nothing to offer but my sympathy and I hope you manage to get some rest soon. Is there anyone who could take the children for a few hours just so you could get in bed with OH and have a sleep? Sending flowers

Sweets101 Thu 13-Apr-17 22:45:43

flowers sounds really really tough.
DS sounds like a trooper. Try not to feel guilty, I'm sure he understands. Little moments of talking, cuddles, sharing a film on the couch can make up for so much.
Think about your best relationships, it's all the little things that really add up, not the grand gestures.
Best wishes to your DH

jmh740 Thu 13-Apr-17 22:47:49

There is only really my parents but my dad was in hospital all last week and is still quite ill and needs to rest, they had ds on Monday and Tuesday while we were at A&E I can't ask any more of them it's not fair. I don't really have any friends

Startoftheyear2017 Thu 13-Apr-17 22:50:54

Sorry things are so tough. I'm sure you're doing your best. Hang in there 💐

iwasbornaunicorn Thu 13-Apr-17 22:51:37

Sorry for your rubbish week.
Just wanted to say i used to do angioplasty & we would never have cancelled someone like your husband who has on going pain.
Is he getting the pain at rest cause that's a big red flag.... Most places will get him an urgent angioplasty for that.
Is he under the cardiology team or medical?
I'd push for an urgent referral to a cardiologist of he's not under one.

jmh740 Thu 13-Apr-17 23:01:54

The angioplasty machine has broken so they can't do anything until it's fixed apparently. He's under the cardiologist, he's getting pains at rest. He gets a sharp stabbing pain every couple of hours he was crying in pain on Tuesday I've only ever seen him cry 3 times in 12 years at the birth of our children and the death of his mum.

innagazing Fri 14-Apr-17 01:14:06

That all sounds awful, and I'm so sorry you have all this to deal with.
Surely the hospital must have a back up plan to use the angioplasty machine at another hospital for example. How is your dh now? It sounds worrying if he has pain at rest as the poster above said.
I'm sure you're already aware, but just in case you're too tired to think straight, you need to know in advance where to go if you feel his condition is worsening. Would it be worth phoning 111 or the emergency doctor at your surgery and asking their advice? Hopefully they may be able to arrange for him to be seen at another hospital.
Of course, if you happened to be out in another area visiting friends an hour or so away, and his condition deteriorated, then you would have to take him to be seen at the nearest hospital, and they'd have to see him, i believe....
flowersto you

iwasbornaunicorn Fri 14-Apr-17 17:04:17

As been suggested above he might need to develop chest pain on a day trip out.
Maybe a quick look at these will give you an idea of where to go i know its the Daily fail but it's
pretty accurate
httpwww.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1332126/Whos-best-surgeon-unblocking-arteries-Which-plumber-experts-choose-perform-risky-op.html
I know the two Oxford based ones and they are brilliant.
Frankly if the hospital only has one x-ray machine & unclear when it will be fixed they should be transferring him elsewhere...In fact that's another option is to get him referred.
The above Drs also do private clinics if all else fails i know the Oxford two have seen someone as a private patient then done surgery on the NHS. If it helps It's a couple of grand to have angioplasty privately.

Rossigigi Fri 14-Apr-17 17:26:33

Lovely I'm so sorry you are going through all of this and staying strong. You are much stronger than you realise. I can understand that some of the unhappiness is that you feel guilty towards your son for not giving him time. But I can guarantee that he will be picking up on everything that you are going through and would not enjoy a full day out as he will pick up on your mood. Just remember this is only one holiday and soon there will be half term.
I'm sorry about your dad and dp, could you call any societies like the Ms society to see what support for you and your family there is?
flowers

jmh740 Fri 14-Apr-17 18:34:07

The nearest other hospital that does angioplasty is blackpool which is over an hours drive away I'm not sure oh could cope with the drive for a day out.
I've tried reaching out to the MS society the local branch has a meeting once a month in an old people's home at lunch time on a week day at the moment oh is still working full time he's only in his 40s it a bit hard to find suffers of a similar age. I emailed the local carers society last week to see if there is any support for myself or the children but they haven't replied yet.
Sorry I know it looks like I'm just putting obstacles in the way of everything. I really appreciate your replies it makes me feel less alone.

daisygirlmac Fri 14-Apr-17 18:36:02

Well if you can get to Blackpool I believe it's meant to be fantastic for heart stuff. You can't be that far from me, please do PM if I can do anything for you

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