Name changed for this.
When I was 7 years old my 14 year old cousin used to do things to me, and make me do things to him when I stayed at his house. Never penetrative sex, but other things. I never really understood why, or what I was doing, all I know is that I never liked it.
It always stayed in the back of my mind as a hazy memory, and I never really thought too much about it. I've never told a soul, not even on a site like this (until now). I spent much of my teenage years and early twenties with very low self esteem, and slept around, mostly with much older men, and sometimes even with women even though I wasn't sure of my sexuality. I made a reputation for myself as the village bike, even though I was shy and anxious, I used to act like a maneater. I've never understood why.
I live on the other side of the country and don't see my cousin often, only at family weddings, christenings, funerals etc. He's always very polite to me and suggests we meet to catch up. I suppose it was only when he recently tried to add me on Facebook that the memories came flooding back. Feelings of being deeply uncomfortable and not understanding what was going on.
I suppose this is more of a WWYD. My then 14 year old cousin is now in his late 30s, married, four children who adore him. Should I let this go as he was just a child himself? Or say something and risk breaking up the entire family? My mother already has issues and if she found out about this I'm pretty sure she'd blame herself and do something stupid.
I wish I could forget.
AIBU?
To take this further (or not) even though it was so long ago? (Sexual abuse trigger)
NameChangedForThisOne2 · 09/04/2017 18:32
Hi OP
Firstly I am so sorry this happened to you, I had something similar happen to me when I was a similar age but by my maternal grandfather. It only stopped because he died a few years later, the relief I felt was huge. I also never told anyone, my mum adored him and I just never plucked up the courage to tell anyone to this day (my mum is no longer alive). I sometimes wonder if he did the same to my older sister as she was very troubled teen but as she is no longer alive there is no way to know.
I don't know the answer I'm afraid, only you can make that decision. I have never really regretted not telling anyone, I was also sexually active quite young but I don't know if it was connected. I think I thought the fallout would be too much as I got older.
It doesn't haunt me now so I guess it will go to the grave with me
to you OP
It's difficult. For me, the 'person' told me not to tell anyone and the police said that would count as evidence he knew it was wrong.
And I did worry about his family as well. His mum was lovely and I know he's married with children.
I take some comfort in the fact that worrying about all this shows just how much of a better person I am than him 
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