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AIBU?

To get a job promotion even if I don't deserve it?

16 replies

PeanutButterBunny · 05/04/2017 19:11

My boss has been more than hinting that if I apply for the promotion to be the department manager, I'd definitely get it. The thing is, I am not as experienced as my colleague who is also a good friend. He's very excited about the promotion (he keeps talking to me about it) and believes he's going to get it. I know that he'd be good at the role too. I feel two faced because I didn't have the heart to tell him my boss has dropped many hints that I'm his preferred choice. I was caught off guard the first time he talked about it that I told him to go for it.

Do I go for the promotion even though I don't think that I am the best candidate and feel like I need time to grow into the role? I feel like a fake and as I am relatively new to the company I think it will upset many senior people. I do think it's a great career opportunity and while I am scared, I would love to give it a go.

OP posts:

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Janeofalltrades1 · 05/04/2017 20:13

I would definitely go for it.

LouiseTM · 05/04/2017 20:15

Go for it, sometimes you need to put yourself first.

CactusFred · 05/04/2017 20:16

You should go for it - but don't keep it a secret from your friend!

But also don't tell friend about the hints as that'd be demoralising- let it look like it was decided by the interview.

PuntCuffin · 05/04/2017 20:18

Go for it. But don't be disappointed if the hints don't come good. Manager may have been heavy hinting to colleague too. It may be that he wants more than one applicant to show they gave it to the right person. Happened to me.

Sweets101 · 05/04/2017 20:20

Go for it. But tell your friend you've decided to give it a go (don't mention the chat with your manager though)

fairiedemon · 05/04/2017 20:21

Sounds like imposter syndrome (which I definitely suffer from!). Have a google, there are plenty of ways to help manage it. I found having a mentor who understood the company culture but was outside my immediate management structure was the best help for me. Best of luck with your promotion!

StealthPolarBear · 05/04/2017 20:22

Do you think he'd have the same worries if positions were reversed?

anotherdayanothersquabble · 05/04/2017 20:25

A man wouldn't even consider not putting themselves forward, pushing aside any doubts they had and would sell all of their positive points. There is lots written about it... women wait until they meet all the requirements before putting themselves forward where as men will put themselves forward when they meet most of the criteria. Whether this is true or not, there is a gender gap at higher levels in most companies, put yourself forward on behalf of us all and bridge that gap!! You have no obligation to tell your friend either...

Dizzy199 · 05/04/2017 20:26

My best friend at work applied for the management role of our team. I was then asked by our boss to apply. I told my friend and discussed it with him, he was happy for me to apply and we agreed a 'may the best man/woman win' approach. Despite me being asked to apply, he got the job. We shook hands and that was the end of it. If he really is a good friend you should be able to talk to him about it, and if you don't then you need to be prepared for it to damage your friendship. If he is as good a friend as you say he should be supportive.

UppityHumpty · 05/04/2017 20:31

They might be asking you to apply because you're good.

They might be asking you to apply because you're not ready but your application makes it easier for the other person to get the job.

Either way it's positive. Go for it. At the worst you get some interview experience and get put on the radar.

Pigface1 · 05/04/2017 20:33

Google 'imposter syndrome'.

Then GO FOR IT (if you want it :) )

JennyHolzersGhost · 05/04/2017 20:43

They may be asking you to apply because they want a competitive process. I know that happens in my workplace. However that's not the most important consideration. The most important consideration is (ok there are two of them!) :

do you want it ?
how do you think your relationship would be with this colleague afterwards ? Would you feel comfortable managing him? I'm not saying this is a reason not to go for the job if you really actually want it because as others have said, men wouldn't think like that so nor should we. But just have a think about it now rather than later. Have a plan for how you'd handle this guy if you get the job and he doesn't.

PeanutButterBunny · 05/04/2017 23:51

Thank you for all your lovely replies. When I started my job, I told myself my goal and that was career progression so I can go to the next job in a few years in a better position and this is my chance I suppose. My gut feeling says I should go for it and deal with the aftermath.

I don't believe my friend think I'd be a competition at all. He has said some positive things about himself to me as if it would be insane if he doesn't get it which makes me feel even worse. So if the situation is reversed, no I don't think he'd care about my feelings as much to be honest. My boss told me in private that while my friend is very good at his job, he doesn't have the people skills he's looking for. I have a good track record in working with difficult personalities. My major worry is I haven't been tested for real management role. I'll have to grow some major balls very, very soon.

Thanks, ladies. It's good to hear support from women here Wish me luck!

OP posts:

ecuse · 06/04/2017 00:06

You say you wouldn't be as good as your friend but how do you know? Perfectly possible your boss can see that you're bright, with the qualities (s)he is looking for and rates that more highly than a couple of extra years experience at the level you're at now. Go for it! (but tell your friend. You don't have to make a big deal of it).

HelenaGWells · 06/04/2017 00:11

Go for it. But tell your friend you've decided to give it a go (don't mention the chat with your manager though)

This. Plus you don't know until you both try. The hint may just be to encourage you to stretch yourself and apply.

BewtySkoolDropowt · 06/04/2017 08:10

It makes sense for a manager to encourage everyone that they think might be suitable for a position to apply for it at the end of the day or will be down to the application and the interview as to who gets the job.

In a previous workplace they did this too. One person decided that because she'd been asked to apply, the job was hers. She put no effort into preparing for the interview. She thought she was a shoe in. She wasn't. She left shortly after as she felt she had been let down - but really, she left herself down.

Basically I'm saying don't get complacent. Just because they want you to apply doesn't necessarily mean they'll give you the job.

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