Aibu to ban the dog

[Numberonecook]

Mother in law had two small Yorkshire terriers and one died. Ever since then she's been a bit worried leaving the other one in kennels whilst on holiday. While she will happily never leave him and go on holiday again fil is not as soft bothered and loves his holidays.

Feeling bad as they do a lot for us and DC I offered to look after fido when they went away for a weekend for their anniversary last year. The dog was well behaved and loved playing with dcs, mil was happy as dog was with family. All was well.

However, a few more weekends led to a two week holiday. She asked if we could have the dog and we agreed to see how it went. The dog was not happy. First week went ok then the second week he was under my feet, being naughty (pulling things over, weeibg on floor etc) not like him and I think he was missing mil. He started snapping at me, the kids lost interest and I ended up walking, feeding, bathing and shouting at him at 3am to stop chasing the ball around the kitchen!

I spoke to mil and said next time I think it would be best if he didn't come for more than a week. She agreed.

She's just announced a two week holiday and instead of asking me about the dog she's gone straight to DH and he said yes. I have lots on at work and can't cope with the stress. I'm now dreading the dog coming this weekend and feel like sending him to the kennels I will burn in hell

Aibu to ban the dog lol

[Wolfiefan]

Tell DH if he's happy to take the time off work and do everything to do with the dog then fine. If not it can't come.

[ThePiglet59]

No. You ignore the dog and get your OH to look after it.
His decision to have it, his problem.

[NeedABumChange]

I would send him to kennels after a week and just pretend to mil you thought that was the plan the whole time since you've only agreed to take him a week.

[Wolfiefan]

You can't send the dog to kennel!
It may not even be fully vaccinated.
You can say no if DH won't deal with it. Or offer to collect it from kennels after the first week.

[Winetemptress]

Good kennels are booked up for Easter so you won't get a place and obviously the dog needs to be vaccinated.

Op tell your mil it's not fair to the dog and she will b better in a good kennel. I speak as a mummy to a Yorkie who I adore but they do heed attention.

Your dh shouldn't have agreed on your behalf. But do it quick or you might not get a kennel place.

[LadyPW]

Well don't leave him with a ball in the kitchen at night and he'll not be able to wake you by playing with it. He'll probably be fine this time. Last time he probably thought he'd been abandoned but he knows better now. You said yourself it was't like him. Have him for the two weeks and if it doesn't go well then make it clear to MIL & DH that in future it's no more than a week.

[WateryTart]

I'd make DH tell her no. Bloody cheek going behind your back.

[Wishiwasmoiradingle2017]

Ignore it entirely and make sure dh does everything for it.
Bet he tells her no next time. .

[notcreative23]

I would tell her you guys aren't going to watch the dog at all anymore as she went behind your back after you had voiced your concerns to her.

[Booboostwo]

You are not obliged to dog sit for other people BUT you say that PIls do a lot for you with the DCs...shouldn't you reciprocate the favour? If family is there for you when you need them, shouldn't you be there for family when they need you?

How much do you walk the dog when he is with you? Tired dogs are less likely to get up to no good. Also try an Adaptil collar to make the change easier on him.

The only think you say that would concern me is when you say the dog snapped at you. What exactly happen? How close did he come to biting? Are the circumstances that led to the snap likely to be replicated, especially around the DCs?

[Chloe84]

So she asked DH even though she knows you'll be the one 'walking, feeding, bathing and shouting at him at 3am to stop chasing the ball around the kitchen' ?

That's just not on, OP. It's a lack of respect from MIL for going behind your back and lack of respect from DH for saying yes without checking with you.

I would put my foot down and say the dog will not be setting a food inside your house.

[TheWitTank]

Just get DH to deal with it as he made the agreement. He walks it, feeds it, cleans up any messes etc. If it involves him taking time off then that's his look out.

[Numberonecook]

I don't think she ment any harm. Dp took the kids to see her and she asked him then he just said yes. I don't think she knew how hacked off I was.

Dog is fully vaccinated but no I won't take him to kennels. I just didn't know wether or not it was harsh to tell mil after this time I'm not doing it.

He didn't bite me he was tired and missing mil. Growly snap but don't think he would of bitten me.

[xStefx]

DH needs to learn
So - Make him walk, feed, play, clean up and do everything after the dog
when MIL asks next time he will think twice

OP, if you do it though your not teaching him anything!!!

[budgiegirl]

I think you are being a little unreasonable, especially as you your inlaws do a lot for you.

And I also don't think it was disrespectful of your MIL to ask your DH, he is her son !! But I agree he should have checked with you first.

Maybe you can find a way to help the dog to not miss your inlaws so much. Lots of walks (presumably your DH and the kids can help with this?) so the dog is tired. Can you leave an item of your MILs clothes with the dog, I believe this can be comforting as it will have your MILs scent on it. And it's really not a big deal to feed a dog, surely it takes only moments?

Hopefully it will go better this time, as maybe the dog will understand this time that the inlaws will come back.