To have taken my car to the garage

[DedicationToSparkleMotion]

Instead of letting DHs 'friend' fix it?

The car is 10 years old but we only bought it from said friend 6 months ago. This friend buys cars at auctions, does them up and then sells them on for a profit.

So far we've had broken wiper blades, broken rear brake lights and now the brake pads have gone.

Each time I have taken it to a garage because this friend lives miles away and only visits our town once or twice a week, some weeks not at all. He has continually told us not to go to the garage and instead wait for one of his visits and he will fix it for the cost of parts.

But in the pitch black winter nights I didn't feel it was safe to drive without rear brake lights and when it was pissing it down every day for weeks at a time I didn't feel it was safe to drive without wipers, and today I didn't feel it was safe to drive knowing my brakes could go at any time.

So yes, we have paid out quite a lot getting various things fixed but DH gets really pissed off every time saying I'm wasting money and should just wait for friend to be available. I don't think that's good enough and actually on this occasion I don't think friend has the skills necessary to fix this particular issue. So we've come away today with a really big (in relation to our monthly incomes) bill and he's in a huff.

AIBU, should I just have waited for friend or actually am I being sensible and putting everyone's safety first?

[milkmilklemonade12]

YANBU, I would always go to a garage and get my car work done as opposed to a mate doing it for me, because you have some comeback if you have an issue with the work completed. If your DH's mate's work doesn't pass muster, what then? You're out of pocket for the parts, and you're back to square one as well.

Additionally, 'wait for one of his visits'? Some things can't wait like you said, and if he was actually eager to help he would have done so by now. I used to live in the town over from my cousin whose hobby involved cars, and whenever he popped his head in (once every 8 weeks I guess?) he'd go and give my car a quick once round to check everything and make sure everything worked well and wasn't on the brink of failing.

An awful lot of people are very 'generous' with their time and skills when it comes to saying it out loud; but actually doing something is quite another matter.

[TheProblemOfSusan]

Brake lights are not something that can wait - you can get £60 fines and even the car taken away for not having working brake lights. And you're completely right about the rest of it too.

You need the car to be as safe as possible when you're driving around and while some things can wait a little while, these things are not small issues.

[Wishiwasmoiradingle2017]

Did you know lights are just bulbs? Quick unscrew with a screwdriver and a bulb for about 50p?! The garage must absolutely love you!!

[user1485984489]

You are being sensible - yes, it would be cheaper to wait but it is illegal to drive without working brake lights and very unsafe to drive without working windscreen wipers! I would do the same as you; your DH is being unreasonable expecting you to drive an unsafe car.

[user1486562272]

I've got to be honest, I'd never pay a garage to do light bulb & wiper blades - so easy to do yourself.

Agreed none of these jobs can be left, they are all safety issues.

[DedicationToSparkleMotion]

On reflection I do regret the wiper blades as it was just a loose nut however by the time I realised that it was late evening, so pitch black and no shops were open for me to get a replacement, and I needed the car for daily commute the next morning.

So yeah the garage probably had a great laugh at me for that one but the next time it happened I did fix that myself.

The lights were unavoidable imo, I took it to Halfords and it wasn't the bulb it was wiring somewhere.

My main issue is like PP have said the waiting for friend to pop over. DH isn't a driver and keeps telling me 'oh it'll be fine you're just panicking'. Well what if it's not fine and his DD is in the car at the time? I don't like paying lots of money out either but surely it's better than the possible consequences of not sorting it out ASAP?

[DedicationToSparkleMotion]

I should add that I'm not very technically minded and this is the first car I've ever owned so not sure what is and isn't reasonable around what can be DIY'd.

[user1485984489]

Ah... so DH isn't a driver. In that case, tell him to shut up until he knows what he's talking about! Or say if you get fined you'll assume he'll pay for the ticket?

It does get easier, I remember when I had my first car constantly worrying about getting ripped off for stuff I could do myself. Luckily I had a couple of helpful friends who gave me a 'car DIY for idiots' session one weekend for the basics (bulbs/fuses/wipers/tyres) etc. Helped boost my confidence loads. Maybe you have a friend or relative who could do the same?

[Coulddowithanap]

Brake pads usually don't need changed instantly, it's also a very easy DIY job so if your husband's friend is willing to do it at cost price when he is next over then forgot it.
How do you know they are 'gone'?