My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To want to report this woman

32 replies

Thornyrose7 · 25/03/2017 21:03

There is a woman in my local town who is obviously very mentally unwell. She is very identifiable by the amount of bags she carries around with her. I do remember this woman when DD was a baby ( so 6 years ago) when she shouted at me for entering a café in town and said' I hope you're not going to bloody well breastfeed, you disgusting woman' I did not respond then, as I could see she was mentally ill.
She is very aggressive to everybody she encounters. I have seen her on several occasions around town, over the course of a few years being very vile and obnoxious to other complete strangers. An example is to turn on someone in a queue and say' don't you DARE look at me' .
Today she tried to pick a fight with me as we waited for a bus, but I just ignored her. My DD (6) was really upset and scared.
The bus journey today was very uncomfortable as she insulted pretty much everyone on the bus. She also placed her some of her bags in the aisle, so people were nearly tripping as they got off and on, but nobody wanted to say anything. Poor DD was really freaked out.
I saw her turn on two young girls aged about 13/14 and also an elderly lady who was small and frail looking. This can't be right.


So there you go. She is obviously in a bad, bad place, but I don't think that it is right that she has been allowed to wander around in such a state causing distress to others for so long.
So aibu to want to report her to the Mental Health services? But how do I do it, as I am not family and I am not known to this woman. I have a rough idea of where she lives, but I don't know her name.
If anyone who works in mental health can tell me their opinion too, it would be much appreciated

OP posts:
Hidingtonothing · 25/03/2017 21:08

I think if she's being abusive and aggressive in public you'd probably be best off calling the police at the time. I would hope they would refer on to mental health/social services then if she has MH issues. Hope your DD is ok Flowers

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 25/03/2017 21:12

None of what you describe is necessarily indicative of mental health issues, she might just be a horrible person Confused.

I'd report her. Sounds like people give her a pass on her behaviour because she's been like that for a long time and that isn't right.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 25/03/2017 21:14

What are you going to report her for? She hasn't done anything to warrant being sectioned or arrested. Carrying too many bags and leaving some in the aisle isn't going to trigger the MCA.

HarrietSchulenberg · 25/03/2017 21:15

If she's been like this for 6 years the chances are she will already be known to police and social services. Call 101 if you see her harrassing people again. I bet you won't be the only one.

Flumplet · 25/03/2017 21:16

If it's the lady in a large West Midlands city she doesn't engage with mh services despite people's best efforts. Agree, if she is being abusive report to transport police.

PlayOnWurtz · 25/03/2017 21:18

She's probably well known to services already and likely won't engage with them hence she's in the state she's in. Nothing they can do other than arrest her if she breaks the law or move her on if she's being a nuisance

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 25/03/2017 21:18

Sounds like a woman I used to know of - she assaulted an elderly lady in the post office and got an asbo!
She used to ask about your house /dc /dh /life in general to anyone who got close enough to latch on to in the street.
Police knew her and had lots of calls. .

PeaFaceMcgee · 25/03/2017 21:18

Call 101 every time.

Thornyrose7 · 25/03/2017 21:24

Umm, it's not just about bags in the aisle ,Still.

DD is ok, I have told her that the woman is ill thanks for flowers!
There is a point that she is just not severe enough to warrant sectioning, as she is just really, really unpleasant to others, but I have not seen her be violent, or threaten violence. I think this is why she has been allowed to carry on for so long. To see her, or encounter her, it is very obvious that she is ill.
I will think about 101, did not think of that, thanks Harriet.

OP posts:
Dontactlikeyouknowme · 25/03/2017 21:26

Sounds like a lady who is often on my bus. I do wonder if she has any support.

BeeFarseer · 25/03/2017 21:27

She sounds exactly like a lady in Liverpool. She insults everyone around her, using vile racist language. I've seen transport police talking to her a few times.

If you're worried for her safety, definitely call 101.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 25/03/2017 21:28

Put it another way - what do you want to happen to her?

AtSea1979 · 25/03/2017 21:32

She's possibly got alcohol related issues rather than psychosis.
As others have said there isn't really anywhere to refer her too as shes not threatening however if people feel threatened by her then they should speak to the police.

captainproton · 25/03/2017 21:33

This lady sounds a lot like my mother used to be. I bet my life savings that she is known to police/hospital etc

I agree with others that she probably refuses to engage.

Avoid and ignore. There is nothing you can do to help.

Thornyrose7 · 25/03/2017 21:35

I just felt today like I wanted to do something about it, I just wasn't sure what, that's partly why I am on the forum. I think I will speak to our local police. Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
Thornyrose7 · 25/03/2017 21:36

Sorry to hear that about your mother, captain. That must have been so difficult.

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 25/03/2017 21:42

MH issues/aggression/alcohol

One day she'll wind up the WRONG person and she'll get both barrells.

So reporting her might save her from a pasting ?

Gallavich · 25/03/2017 21:48

Unless she's posing a risk to herself or others then she can't be forcibly detained.
If she's being antisocial then the police could arrest her and try to get her assessed whilst in custody but again, they can't detain her under the MHA unless she's posing a risk of harm.

NotStoppedAllDay · 25/03/2017 21:48

She might go too far and hurt someone

Or pick on a person with actual MH issues of their own.

She needs help.... not engaging isn't an option when she can be detained and/or sectioned. Won't be her choice

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 25/03/2017 21:51

The woman I knew had mh issues after her ds was killed while trick or treating some years ago.
She wasn't an alcoholic that I knew of.
Tragic really.

AllTheGlitters · 25/03/2017 21:52

I think it's pretty clear why the OP is concerned, and she obviously wants a solution that benefits both the woman and the people subjected to her intimidation. We have a few people like this who are always around our town centre, as it's a large shopping centre and they frequent the public transport a lot. It is intimidating, I had to get off the bus with baby DD a few months ago because the guy looked like he was about to attack us.

OP, it's not the same, but when I worked in a coffee shop at the same city centre, we had a little old man obviously very confused who would come in several times a day, asking us to order him a taxi home. It was very upsetting to see a vulnerable person not getting any support. Unfortunately my manager was pretty ambivalent, but I made a point of calling Age Concern every time he came in and I believe they (eventually) got him some support - I think he was signed up for a bus service that went to a red cross centre daily, if I remember rightly?

My point is, if you do consistently report her troubling behaviour, you may get her some support in place, but I don't know how it works, unfortunately adults, even with MH issues, if they have no children fall into a bit of a gap IMO :( But good luck Flowers

Thornyrose7 · 25/03/2017 21:53

I thought exactly the same thing, 70,. One day someone will hit back.Literally. It's not a good situation.

OP posts:
foxyloxy78 · 25/03/2017 21:55

70isa. Totally agree. I witnessed a woman who used to insult every one on the train. One day she picked the wrong victim who was actually far worse than she and to say she got the fright of her life was an understatement. But, she did not change her ways and carried on insulting people after that event.

OP report her if she's a nuisance. People really should not have to worry about traveling on public transport. Especially with kids.

user1489677782 · 25/03/2017 22:02

It is a very difficult situation. People should be free to walk about the streets of your area without being verbally abused by this woman. I suppose she has the right to refuse treatment. I would be extremely annoyed at anyone upsetting my DC and scaring like OPs DC has been. There has to be a safety net. OP and DC need peace to go about whatever they are doing. If this woman has been doing this for at least 6 years the local NHS authority should be answering some big questions.

Twopeapods · 25/03/2017 22:03

There is a woman like this in our town. Very abusive, shouting and swearing randomly at people. She used to come into the coffee shop where I was a waitress and she was very abusive to the staff. My boss told her if she couldn't behave she would be barred and she did stop it for a while. It started back up and the boss stopped letting her in. I was only 15 and it was really upsetting.
I think a word with the police is the right way yo go, even though they might not be able to do anything.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.