Child left out of assembly

[lemony21]

I've just seen another thread on here about their child and their assembly experience so thought I'd share mine.

My son (7) and his class have had 10 free music lessons to learn a musical instrument. Unfortunately my son has missed the final 2 lessons because of illness and has had an operation which prevents him playing the instrument. Today the whole class performed a concert to parents which was brilliant. Very impressive really.

I had contacted the teacher a week ago explaining that my son wouldn't be able to take part and how upset he was about not being able to take part. Could she find a way for him to still be part of it. This was her reply

"Shame about the trumpet playing and the concert, but we will make sure we find him another important job to do in the concert so he is just as much a part of it."

I was so relieved and it pleased my son to know he wouldn't be left out.

Today he was a bit upset as expected but still looking forward to it. I reassured him that it was like being part of a team and he would still be taking part. I watched the concert with the other parents and my son sat on a chair next to his teacher throughout the concert. I kept thinking his part will come but it didn't. There were a few opportunities that he could of done something like hold the music sheets and give gifts to the music teacher but instead other children with instruments were chosen to do that. A parent next to me actually pointed out that my son could of done that. I felt so upset for my son and he came over to me afterwards teary so I did what I could to cheer him up. I can't explain the disappointment I felt for him. I feel like I'd been part of a lie. Not sure it's worth saying anything to the teacher now but I'm so angry that my son was treated this way. Should I really of expected the teacher to have done what she said she was going to do?

[miniyouinsideme]

Wee poppet! The teacher could have made him involved in any number of ways! Such a shame.

[TheRealPooTroll]

Oh dear. Maybe she had him help set up or something. Have you asked him if.he had any job at all?

[MadamePomfrey]

When were the roles given out?? I just wonder if she had all ready allocated roles present giving ect it would be hard to take it back and re allocate. Was he told anything about his role??

[VladmirsPoutine]

I do think perhaps the roles might have already been distributed and teacher couldn't just wrangle another child out of their role for the sake of your son. Even so with the pressure to deliver the show it's very fathomable that the teacher didn't have the time to improvise a role for your son.

Of course all of this does not make the situation better. But I do think it's worth looking at the bigger picture - if this is the only instance then draw a line under it.

[Leeds2]

Might be a bit PA but I would ask the teacher what your DS's job was.

[Foxysoxy01]

I would bring it up with the teacher tbh. Probably start gently as you are not sure if she maybe gave him a big part behind the scenes or something.
You could say something like DS was a bit upset about the concert and has been feeling a bit low about it I just windered what his job was so I can tell him how well he did it etc etc.

[lemony21]

There wasn't really any setting up, the children carried their chairs and instruments into the hall and my son just carried a chair. He was told to sit at the side next to the teacher. I thought he would be given a drum or tambourine or do an introduction, I think it was him not knowing what part he would be playing that made him unsettled this morning. I was going to ask the teacher about his part but felt her email covered it and I didn't want to sound pushy. Wish I had now.

[Witchend]

Was the teacher only there for the music lessons? In which case she probably didn't have the opportunity to give him something to do because she won't have seen him to do that. She may have thought he'd be back for the last lesson and would have given him something then.

If she is the general teacher then it's different. However, how long had he been back at school? Because again, if it was only a day or so she may just not have had the opportunity. She may also have been wary of giving him anything that couldn't be missed out/taken over at the last minute if he happened to be absent.

Also you do need to check that she didn't offer him something and he refused. I remember a friend going in all guns blazing and finding that the teacher had asked them to do two or three quite big parts and they'd refused to do any of them.