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AIBU?

If you visit someone without notice and they say they're sick..

21 replies

honeyroar · 18/03/2017 22:21

Today was the first day I got up after two days in bed with hot and cold shivers and a cold. My husband has been nursing me and he has gone down with it today. I was the better of the two of us, and we have hen's, horses and dogs, so I sorted all the jobs out, had a shower and went to Tescos for some fresh fruit and milk. By the time I came back I was exhausted and had done too much. My husband dragged himself out of bed to walk the dogs quickly in our field and had just heated some soup up (he really should've been in bed but saw I was struggling). Just as we were about to eat there was a knock at the door and it was a friend of my husband's that we hadn't seen for ages. I said hello, nice to see you, but we are both full of a cold/flu and it's probably not a good idea to come in. "Oh don't be daft, I'll be fine" he replies, barges in, ignoring the two bowls and steaming pan of soup, and proceeds to babble at us both for two hours while we sit there blowing our noses and looking rough.

Im not very bothered about unannounced callers normally, but when you tell them you're ill they should take the hint!!

AIBU to hope he catches it??

OP posts:

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KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 18/03/2017 22:24

Why didn't you both start licking him when he came in?

helensburgh · 18/03/2017 22:26

Oh it's tricky..he should have taken the hint.
Happened to us one day . Husband and I both had been up all.night with proper norovirus.
Knock at door . Family we vaguely knew .. mum I'd met at a baby grouo. 3 kids 2 adults. I explained. They came in anyway.
Never saw them.again
.. I wonder why!

mummymummums · 18/03/2017 22:29

I think from what you said he thought your concern was for him, and he probably didn't like to abort the visit. Would've been better to say "sorry we're off back to bed straight after this soup so we won't ask you in"

honeyroar · 18/03/2017 22:30

We should've licked him! We snozzed on him a bit, although had just had a dose of lemsip, so probably didn't sneeze as much as we would have if he'd come half an hour before! He's that thick skinned he wouldn't notice. Nice ordinarily, but I could've killed him today!

OP posts:

ChasedByBees · 18/03/2017 22:32

I think your problem was hinting. You should have upped it to: 'honestly, now is not a good time for us' and if he still didn't understand, 'we don't want visitors now, we're not well enough. Let's meet up in a week or so.'

That could progress to 'please leave.'

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 18/03/2017 22:32

I would of licked the cup and insisted he drank a cup of tea but I've got better with age and would of said I have to go bed now, whereas before I would of suffered in silence.

Hope you both feel better soon. Definitely take it easy.

Bluntness100 · 18/03/2017 22:34

It's hard to just walk away to be fair,,especially if you've went out of your way to see someone. It kind of would feel a bit rude.

However on the other hand, I hate unannounced visitors, never do it myself, and think he should have not stayed so long, but I'm fairly anti social like that.

honeyroar · 18/03/2017 22:36

Not easy when you're feeling rough and faced with a Peter Kay type character..

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IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 18/03/2017 22:49

Next time tell them you got the shits and then grab a bowl and tell them it's invade you throw up again

Goldfishjane · 18/03/2017 22:57

yes he should have gone immediately, very rude.

I hope your cold goes immediately if that's any help!

Daydream007 · 18/03/2017 23:01

This is exactly why I always phone or text first just incase the
people I'm visiting are ill or not wanting visitors at that time. So rude to just turn up.

MammaTJ · 18/03/2017 23:03

I hope your cold goes immediately if that's any help!

Well I am clearly nastier than you Goldfishjane, I hope he gets their cold and gets someone visit him in the thick of it who will not leave!

I do also wish the OP and her husband a speedy recovery!

Meowstro · 18/03/2017 23:04

Quite wrong of him. I wouldn't have got the door in the first place, especially when ill, but that's me. Otherwise I'd have said I really needed to get to bed.

honeyroar · 18/03/2017 23:12

Aw thank you for all the kind wishes.

He's a nice enough bloke, just a bit of a gas bag, he came to lecture my husband on how to run his (struggling) business, despite not knowing anything. He's good fun and we just nod at him usually while he babbles, but my poor husband was shaking with cold by the time he went. I should have just dished out the soup while he talked.

It's not a serious thread, or the end of the world, but I did sit there afterwards and think how rude!

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Wolfiefan · 18/03/2017 23:14

You say "you might be fine but we are not up to visitors. See you soon."
Shut door.

Goldfishjane · 18/03/2017 23:51

Your description is of someone I'd not mix with at all. I don't cope well with gasbaggers....or maybe i do because I say "well I mustn't take up any more of your time, I know how busy you are" while moving them to the door....

Janey50 · 21/03/2017 02:40

Oh I just love people like this. You tell them you're not well and they automatically assume your concern is for THEM,nothing to do with the fact that YOU might not feel up to it! I used to get this with my exH's family. They were the masters at turning up unannounced,usually at some highly inconvenient time. My exSIL even had the nerve to complain that all 3 of her kids had gone down with the norovirus 24 hours after visiting us when my exH and myself had it,despite telling them that it wasn't a good idea for them to come in. Oh dear how sad never mind I said when she told me.

LorLorr2 · 21/03/2017 02:45

God, some people really are dim and unobservant aren't they!
Then again, you gave him permission to keep talking by not being clear enough. When you're dealing with a loudmouth you need to be blunt to get the message across. A shiver and a 'well, sorry to be so rude but we just want to get back to bed now' would suffice.

ScarlettFreestone · 21/03/2017 03:25

In this situation you make the interloper a small cup of tea and usher them out of the door as soon as it has been drunk (or 20 mins whichever comes first)

"it was sooo lovely to see you but as you can see neither of us are well so we're going to dose ourselves up and go back to bed. Bye"

Why on earth did you sit there shivering, without lunch, for two bloody hours?

He was rude but seriously, I'm considering marketing a line of big girls pants just for MNers.

IamFriedSpam · 21/03/2017 06:29

YANBU he should have taken the hint. If you're going to drop round unannounced you have to be able to accept it might be inconvenient.

honeyroar · 21/03/2017 08:35

Scarlett "why did you sit there...?" Because we weren't ourselves and quite as on the ball as we are when we're not sick!! Normally I'm perfectly good at pulling up my brave pants. And I wasn't cold, my husband was, I didn't notice him shake with cold until the bloke had gone.

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