So I was raped as a 13 year old by a much older man (15 years ago now). Police were involved but not sure why it didn't go to court - memories are hazy. Don't feel strong enough to ask family why.
I have NEVER even given this incident a second thought so it's really unexpected that I have been having nightmares, panic attacks and crying about it at night. I havent even wanted my small children to touch me - anticipated contact is fine but not 'intrusive' touching - not that they even can comprehend that at 2 and 4 years!
I was burgled whilst we were all in bed asleep and under huge pressure from uni - so can only think that's part of it. I also think I actually didn't recognise it for what it was and almost felt that I had had 'grown up' sex (this makes me feel ashamed) rather than a rape at 13 so intoxicated and too young to consent. After a few horrific weeks, I have been prescribed antidepressants and start counselling in the next few days, so I am taking steps to look after myself. Tablets kicked in now so I feel OK.
I'm just trying to understand my own feelings and wondering if anybody else had had similar experiences?
AIBU?
To ask if anyone has ever had a really delayed response to a traumatic life experience? *TRIGGER*
choccywoccywoowah · 13/03/2017 00:55
to you choccy - and good on you for seeking help.
To answer your question, yes - a major bereavement 7 years ago (plus some other stuff a few years before that) plus some par for the course work stress = huge mental breakdown.
Counselling has helped a bit and so have the meds.
Good luck
Awake here too and hoping you pull through this awful time. Similar circumstances happened to me and I spent 2 years really struggling to understand everything, eventually with the right help and learning to love myself again I've pulled through. You can do this
It would be totally understandable if being burgled triggered this; having your house broken into is often, even usually, experienced as something very violating, like the home is an extension of the self.
If you let your partner sleep, you are doing something constructive by making sure that at least one of you is well-rested and in a good place to help keep things together. If you wake him/her up for comfort, then you're achieving something by reaching out for help, which is often not easy. Either way, there is something positive to be found.
You can be ok again. Be kind to yourself.
choccy yes it is very common for PTSD to occur, months, or years after the trauma. I highly reccomend a treatment called Eye Movement Integration. A similar treatment that is more mainstream is called EDMR.
I've experienced similar. Slightly different circumstances but very similar to you. In my case I didn't realise how bad it was until many years later, then it suddenly hit me like a train.
I've moved on from it all, but still have anxiety about having sex and I dislike being touched.
Sorry you've been through it, remember your not alone.
Similar happened to me. I had a breakdown a few years back triggered by a period of really extreme work stress. What I hadn't bargained on was it also triggering PTSD and me recalling an attack that happened 20yrs earlier when I was a child that I had completely buried and convinced myself had not actually happened. I suffered a horrendous period of constantly reliving the attack and being very depressed. Like you Ads and counselling helped. Talking therapy, as hard as it is at times, will really help. In the meantime, try and find the time to start practicing mindfulness if you can - it can really help with managing the intrusive thoughts and anxiety Whilst you go through the therapy journey. I also found writing things down helped take the edge off sometimes and let me enjoy moments with my family instead of being constantly overwhelmed and anxious. It's a long road, but the fact you are now on it is strangely a good thing (for you, your future and your family). You just need to trust the process. Be kind and patient with yourself (and the DC will be absolutely fine).
Good luck
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