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AIBU to think I'll never have time for a hobby?

(12 Posts)
ThisAintALoveSong Fri 03-Mar-17 09:55:59

Just that really. Between working and 2 young children I just feel as though my wings have been clipped and I can no longer do the things I used to enjoy. Even if I could I am always just too exhausted.

Does this get better with time or is this how life is until my kids are grown up? I don't mean to come across as negative, I'm just feeling a bit low.

BarbaraofSeville Fri 03-Mar-17 10:04:32

Can you do the things you enjoy with your DCs? Eg if you used to hike, cycle or other outdoor activities, can you all do that together, even if it is at a very basic level? Local woods and parks for example.

Does the DCs other parent live with you? Do they still do their hobbies? Are they looking after the DCs to give you time to do your thing?

Of course if you are a single parent with little support and used to go high level mountaineering, that probably needs to go on hold for a long while.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Fri 03-Mar-17 10:14:48

I know how you feel, but just make some time. I'm fucking knackered all the time, work 40 hours a week, 3 kids 9yon, 20 months and 2 months, up at 4am every day. But I love swimming and spinning so even though at 6pm i think I'm to tired to do it, I go anyway and always feel glad I did. I try to do two evenings a week, DP has the same.

Any chance you could get some down tien one or two evenings a week to do something?

ThisAintALoveSong Fri 03-Mar-17 10:22:42

I'd love to have more time to pursue my hobby but it's more of a group activity which I can't commit to. It's a musical pursuit which prior to having kids absorbed much of my time as I had to commit to it to make it work. I can't see that happening anymore so I just play to myself at home which doesn't feel like the same thing. I could probably find the time at night if I wasn't so blimmmin knackered to play but my brain doesn't absorb info the same anymore as a result of being frazzled. And like I said it not really meant to be a solo pursuit but nobody wants a non-commital band member who doesn't make time to play. It was almost like a second job but the good kind where I enjoyed it.

I have a feeling I'm just going to have to sit on it for a a large number of years and find something else to do. I have no idea what the something else would be that would fill the void. I'm not one for going to the gym. I enjoy walking and swimming with my kids but it's doesn't hold the same buzz for me. I sound so selfish just typing this sad really don't mean to

StumblyMonkey Fri 03-Mar-17 10:23:18

What kind of things do you want to do as a hobby?

We have a few of us in our friendship group who are in to various different types of crafts. We set aside one Sunday afternoon a month where DCs are sent to GPs/are with fathers and get together at one house. All do our own crafts around the table but share biscuits and chat.

Just an example of finding a way to fit something in but depends what kind of hobby you're thinking of?

ThisAintALoveSong Fri 03-Mar-17 10:25:02

And kudos freak on being able to get up at 4am to pursue your interest. I'm a sleep addict, I would literally die if I did that!

I am in total awe of your commitment!

ThisAintALoveSong Fri 03-Mar-17 10:28:58

monkey you may be on to something there. I love to play on my bass and guitar. If I can perhaps find like minded people who don't mind making some noise once it week it may work but I think I would be restricted if the prospect of playing gigs came up (I used a gig regularly, pubs, venues etc).

I think I would feel guilty giving up time at the weekend that ate into 'family time'. Is that just me??

ElvishArchdruid Fri 03-Mar-17 23:25:17

What about something creative, like on Sky there's a channel, they do demos, I was watching how to make DIY journals/albums/guest books.

Could be a keep sake for DC, like make your own version. You might get people wanting to buy them. I was watching the sales channels for a laugh, the jewellery was horrific, but the craft channel was really good, really enjoyed that. (Also want to know how they use a desert bullet to make chocolate ice cream, as you put frozen stuff in and get like sorbet out of it!) I lead an exciting life grin

ElvishArchdruid Fri 03-Mar-17 23:25:31

How old are DC's?

BackforGood Fri 03-Mar-17 23:54:18

Could you play somewhere when the dcs are with you ? (I'm thinking a church music group, although that would obviously only work if you wanted to go to Church grin)
How old are they ? As in Pre school or do you have time when they are not with you ?
Do you have an OH ? So could you commit to a once a week thing? - that opens all sorts of possibilities.

ThisAintALoveSong Sun 05-Mar-17 20:01:57

They are 4 and just over 12 months. I don't have much time outside of work when they aren't with me. I have a partner but weekends are usually used catching up on chores and doing general family stuff/smiley events to attend/days out etc

ThisAintALoveSong Sun 05-Mar-17 20:02:21

Family events not smiley events 😁

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