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AIBU?

No invite.

16 replies

Downyonder · 02/03/2017 23:51

My DD is in a little group of six girls. They have their moments with regards to playing together but ultimately they are a little clique. Anyway one of the girls had a birthday , a limousine and my DD wasn't invited. I was unaware of this until she came home and told me. DD told me matter of fact that the party had happened and she she didn't go. I asked her why and she said it was because the party mum didn't know me. I work full time so do breakfast club and don't see other mums. AIBU to think that this is a little shitty?

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pipsqueak25 · 02/03/2017 23:55

shitty but dd doesn't seem too bothered by it i'd let it go tbh.

Downyonder · 03/03/2017 00:02

Although she was matter of fact about it, I knew she was bothered but she was telling me to see if she was ok to hurt by it...if that makes sense. She's only 6 and absolutely idolises her friends.

OP posts:

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 03/03/2017 00:05

YANBU. Not knowing a child is no excuse to exclude them.

TeethDrama · 03/03/2017 00:06

Could it be that's what either your dd or her friend has said to save face? Possibly there are play dates etc going on that you aren't aware of, so although your dd is. Pearly friends with these girls it has taken a more intense turn between some that you aren't aware of?

If you don't already, I would try & get a few more play dates in at the weekend.

It's tough though, I know how it feels as a parent 😞

TeethDrama · 03/03/2017 00:06

*dd is obviously

PuddleJumper01 · 03/03/2017 00:07

Your kids sound pretty young (primary) if you're dropping for breakfast club in order to work.

A primary school kid with a limousine for a b.day???? How on earth are the parents going to top that when the kid hits 10/13/18/20/gets married? Unless you earn gazillions, RUN, OP, RUN!

Even if you work full time, doesn't mean you can't organise and host play dates, btw. To cement the close-ness. There is after school and weekends. Still can't get my head around limousine.

Originalfoogirl · 03/03/2017 00:11

Hard lesson, but it will keep happening. To be in a clique at 6, isn't the best thing. I tend to encourage our girl to widen her net.

Shrug it off, if she thinks you thinks it's a problem, she will become more upset by it. I use these sorts of things as a talking point, letting our girl talk it out and rationalise it in her head.

highinthesky · 03/03/2017 00:22

Does the birthday girl's mother have the same understanding of the group of friends?

ScattySuze · 03/03/2017 00:35

A limo!? Good lord
Agree with other poster - unless you're loaded this sounds awful to keep up with!

kiwimumof2boys · 03/03/2017 00:44

Another at a limo. Not knowing you is no excuse - I didn't know half DS's friends mums til I met them at his actual birthday.
I know what it's like when your DC isn't invited - been there, dome that and it sucks.
Unfortunately, there really isn't anything you can do except mentally stab the other mum in the eyes when you see her but you can vent here!

Pigeonpost · 03/03/2017 00:45

A limousine?!? To be honest it was of

Pigeonpost · 03/03/2017 00:47

Argh: to be honest it was prob a numbers thing. Although I don't know for a fact how many 6 year olds you can fit in a limo. Chalk it up and move on, the older they get the smaller their parties get (a blessing in disguise IMO) and choices have to be made.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 03/03/2017 00:48

A limo for a six year old? Be glad you're not involved!

ScarlettFreestone · 03/03/2017 01:02

Was it perhaps a Mums and Daughters thing?

I wouldn't have a bunch of 6 yos unsupervised in a limousine.

Downyonder · 03/03/2017 10:40

I drop her at breakfast club in morning and don't collect her until 6pm from after school club so play dates aren't possible. DD attends dance school on Saturday and spends Sundays with her DF.

I think the child's mum is aware of their little group. If her DD talks to her about school I'm sure they would all be mentioned.

OP posts:

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 03/03/2017 10:46

Unfortunately your DD is at the age where play dates are arranged at the school gates between mums. If you're not there to do that they're not going to happen and the girls who do have play dates will become closer. If the mum was supervising it might be that she knows the other girls well enough to feel confident about their behaviour and how they respond to her, but your DD is unknown.

It's not really wrong on either side - it is what it is.

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