Need advice..(5 Posts)
So i have this friend that ive been pals with 10+ years, we fell out last year for a few months and got back in touch just before xmas. The reason we fell out was because she wasnt making any effort within our friendship, we are close friends. Id just had my dd and moved away from our area. I dont drive so was limited to travelling to see her, but would make plans to meet fir dinner or a few drinks or whatever, she drives and it takes maybe 15 mins in a car to get to my place. She had a new bf in the midst of all this and thats what caused her to flake on our plans all the time. So i got fed up and had it out with her and we fell out. Now the same thing is happening and shes admitted to me that she needs to find herself again as her whole life revolves around the boyfriend. Shes been having a bit of a hard time recently with bf and family clashing (she lives at home ) , recently took an overdose of cocaine and paracetamol and said shes depressed so as were friends so long of course i dont want to see her that way and have told her im here anytime if she needs me and have made more effort with her. Since we back speaking shes flaked prob 6 times. I didnt say anything as i dont want to be insensitive to how shes feeling but shes no problem going for drinks to the bf sisters house or going to her other friends and bringing the bf( shes now fallen out with that friend as the two boyfriends had a fight) im just feeling like its always just when it suits her to see me or to make plans to do stuff together and then lets me down unless she feels like it. AIBU to say something about this again considering whats going on with her? Genuinely dont know wether to be honest or just keep my mouth shut.. ?
I think you are maybe taking it too personally be saying she is letting you down. Seems to me her behaviour at times is so bad she is ashamed to keep to the plans and face you, she sees other friends as they don't have as high (rightly so) expectations of her.
I wouldnt say i have high expectations of her, we both have completely different lives, i have a long term partner and am a sahm. Her lifestyle is hectic, partys drugs and men(before bf) and still now minus the men. So i accept thats the way she lives her life, but am thinking is it time to just call it quits and move on from the friendship or wait and see if any effort gets made on her part?
Maybe she is envious her life has turned out so different to yours and the friendship is a reminder of what she hasn't got? Sounds like you have done all you can to keep it going tbh. Time to let go.
Maybe your right. I appreciate your advice. I feel like im being a cold hearted bitch considering where her heads at but theres only so much i can do. She texts me a lot saying she will be up to me this day and that day and we can do this and that but now i make other plans on them days as i know its not going to happen where as before i would have given her the botd. Thanks
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