AIBU to not get too involved during playdates?

[Joolsy]

DD2 (8) often has playdates at our house with a few different friends, one often stays for a sleepover. They all get on really well most of the time and I generally just let them play without my involvement. When she's on her own DD2 and I play together alot, usually a couple of hours after school and more at weekends plus outings. Just feel guilty that I don't get too involved when she has friends round, apart from providing food & drink, sorting out any disagreements and making sure everyone's happy. I do play with them when asked but that's not very often!

[LumelaMme]

At, 8, they should really be happy to amuse themselves. It's good for them to learnt to entertain themselves and sort out minor disputes, as long as they know that your there in case of a crisis or massive bust-up.

You're not ignoring them, you're encouraging independence.

[skerrywind]

At that age kids prefer not to have adults around when they play.
If you want to " contribute" without getting involved, then I would sometimes (but not too often) set up an activity that they could do without too much supervision.
Cake decorating, breadmaking, or some craft activity, where you set up, drop in for a few minutes at a time. Or just lay out some newspapers and poundland craft kits. My kids loved these " unsupervised" activities,

[afromom]

I think that's fine, ds would have been embarrassed at 8 if I had tried to play with his friends on a play date at that age. We did sometimes cook something or I would take them to the park/scooter ramps, but other than that they would entertain themselves! In fact I arranged many play dates for that exact reason. It gave me some peace and quiet for a couple is hours!

[arethereanyleftatall]

Absolutely I wouldn't get involved in playing with an eight year old!! It wouldn't even cross my mind, or any of the other parents I know.

[ProudBadMum]

I don't get involved if my son has someone over for tea and he's 7. Haven't since he was 5.

It's less stress if you drop the title 'play date' and call it what it is. Having a mate over

[Lowdoorinthewal1]

DS (6.5) plays out and his friends come into the house all the time. I would not dream of getting involved.

He comes to me if he's hurt or they want food.

[Mammysboys]

Yanbu. I disassociated with one of Ds's friend's mum because she constantly and irrationally intervened during every second of play, here and when there. A like to think she's got the hint

[Trifleorbust]

They come to play with each other, not with their parents