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AIBU?

To ask what to do with a newborn?

33 replies

VeryNecessary · 25/02/2017 17:25

DS is almost four weeks old. Very chilled, contented baby. Eats and sleeps well. He's now coming out of the very sleep 'newborn' stage and is awake and alert for a few hours between eating and napping.

My question is, what do I do when he's awake? He has a bouncy chair and an activity mat, which he likes but for short periods. He likes sitting and looking at the light coming through the window, likes a walk in the pram and a mooch around the rooms in the house but is that enough?

This is my first child (can you guess?) and I can't chill and enjoy him because I always feel I should be doing more, but then worrying about over stimulating him!

OP posts:
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d270r0 · 25/02/2017 17:27

Thats fine. Not much you can do with them at that age. Most important thing is interaction so talking to him, singing etc. They can do much more as they get older.

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NotSayingImBatman · 25/02/2017 17:29

I just strapped my DSs into a sling at that age and got on with housework etc. They seemed to enjoy mooching around, I would babble at them inanely about what I was doing, sing to them etc. Seemed to keep them happy.

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Blankiefan · 25/02/2017 17:30

Just get on with your day and narrate your way through "oh, mummy's putting a washing on, I think we'll do the darks today - better check the pockets for change - shall we go and have coffee and cake if daddy's left a fiver in his jeans?" It becomes second nature but feels a bit silly at the start. Kind of involves them and keeps you interacting. There's only so many times you can "row, row your boat".

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OuchBollocks · 25/02/2017 17:30

Read to him. Not necessarily kids or baby books, literally anything - Sunday papers, ideal home, Harry Potter, whatever you like. The sound of your voice is all he needs right now. If you get on with a sling pop him in that as a change from the pram. I used to narrate shopping trips round tesco to dd. Sing a bit too, though perhaps not in tesco depending on your singing voice :)

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isthistoonosy · 25/02/2017 17:31

I just did jobs / housework / decorating etc and talked about what I was dong while they sat and watched. But my first sometimes liked to just sit and watch the birds etc in the garden (in the summer obvs).

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Twiggy71 · 25/02/2017 17:32

Congratulations Flowers
I used to just chat to my ds at that age and they just love to watch you going about your business.
Though it was easier when i had my second dchild as she used to watch her older db tear around the place as there is 3 1/2 years between them..

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Roanoke · 25/02/2017 17:33

You basically do whatever you want to do and the baby comes along. This is your last chance to do pleasant things - once the kid's old enough to decide, it's softplay and peeling toast off your shoe at playgroups.

Please try not to get all het up about 'stimulation' and stuff. You love him, you talk to him - that's all they need. You don't need to play him Mozart or Mandarin or listen to anyone who insists you do.

So:

  1. Head to the shops, have a browse of stores YOU like. Talk to him. He sees colours, hears your voice, he's happy.


  1. Get a coffee. People watch.


  1. Go to a museum, gallery, a walk-around-and-look-kind of thing. Baby will probably be quietish.


  1. Do the things you like!


It's a good age. I realised with my second, really, that they're just portable at this age. My son needed to be taken to nursery or dance or the doctor etc, and the new baby simply had to come along. I was less worried about literally DOING things to the new baby, or thinking what it might like, because she just joined in on our usual family routines.

Relax, you're doing great :)
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GirlElephant · 25/02/2017 17:34

I did lots of cuddling, staring and picture taking when not playing! As others have said I chatted away about what I was doing and sang lots of songs (many made up Wink):

Baby groups are good and early on are more for you than the baby so see what is on in your area and decide what age you are best to enrol.

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PlayOnWurtz · 25/02/2017 17:35

I used to put them on their play mat or in their bouncy chair and carry on with my day! No harm seems to have befallen them. I will see if benign neglect will work with this one too...

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GirlElephant · 25/02/2017 17:35

Ps and congratulations! Enjoy it all as time really does go by too quickly!

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SnugglySnerd · 25/02/2017 17:36

Sounds fine to me! When the weather gets nicer you could take them round the garden to look at flowers, butterflies etc or put them in the bouncy chair in the garden and blow bubbles. DD loved bubbles as a baby, we spent hours in the garden with bubbles!

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Passmethecrisps · 25/02/2017 17:37

I remember wondering this!

Popped her in bouncy chair and took her into various rooms while I cleaned. Sang and danced a bit for her

Chatted generally

Popped her on her fisher price play mat thing and let her look at the dangly stuff and lights

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Honeybee79 · 25/02/2017 17:39

They don't need much. Just get on with your life! Just cuddles, talking to etc. Bit of bouncer time, bit of mat time, etc.

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Cutesbabasmummy · 25/02/2017 17:39

Read to him . Black and white bookstore good for small babies but anything bright and colourful. Also try a couple of baby groups. They helped keep me same in this early days! X

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LillyBugg · 25/02/2017 17:43

Make the most of this time before they absolutely have to be entertained. Honestly just do what you want to do and narrate, your voice is enough. I remember waving toys at my newborn and trying to read children's stories. What was I doing?? I then realised that it was perfectly acceptable to sit on the sofa and watch the entire box set of greys anatomy. I fear DC2 will be a somewhat different experience when he arrives in less than 12 weeks.

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sleepy16 · 25/02/2017 18:08

Very young baby's love looking at faces, the best thing you can do is look at your baby and talk to him.
Smile and sing to him, that is all he needs at this age :) enjoy him it's such a speacial stage.

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TheFullMrexit · 25/02/2017 18:25

I remember this op when you feel baby doesn't do much. At this stage hold as much as possible, talk, all baby needs.

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Rixera · 25/02/2017 18:32

They've only just emerged into the world at this age- everything is stimulation. Everything is an opportunity to learn. Mine was very much a Velcro baby so I strapped her into a sling to do housework when possible, read whatever book I was reading out loud, did a lot of music and dancing (she's still obsessed with dancing, used to kick to music in utero!), Did things like showing her the weather outside in the morning and what it felt like (ie if windy blew on her cheek, if rainy dipped her finger in my water cup, if sunny let her touch the side of her warm milk bottle) narrated our day and our plans, went on long walks, let her watch while OH and I played our board/card/role play games!
They don't need an awful lot, so don't worry about not doing enough. You've got that joy yet to come :)

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Joolsy · 25/02/2017 18:32

Make silly faces at him! But they really don't need much entertainment.

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BellyBean · 25/02/2017 18:34

Do your best to do what you want to do before he gets more demanding. I was knackered but should have gone out for coffee more!

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arethereanyleftatall · 25/02/2017 18:45

Strap him to you and massively enjoy the next few months doing whatever you like to do, whatever (depending!) you would do on a weekend pre dc.

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twoforluck · 25/02/2017 19:27

Lots of time in the sling and lots of singing & dancing, don't think I've ever sung as much in fact! Also baby massage Is lovely for both mum and baby, just check what age it's appropriate to start, I believe but may be wrong that 4 weeks should be fine? I'm sure there are many more knowledgable than me though

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BertieBotts · 25/02/2017 19:30

I always feel a bit sorry for the first one because what newborns love best is people watching! And you don't end up doing much on maternity leave for them to watch if you don't have other children.

I love all the suggestions about dancing, playing games, socialising etc :) Get an excellent sling which will get him up to adult face height and get out and about so strangers can coo over him and give him loads of attention.

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toffeeboffin · 25/02/2017 19:35

Congratulations!

DD is 7 weeks and is now past the sleepy stage too. I'm quite happy to let her gaze around the room, watch TV with me, at that age they don't need much stimulating at all, just watching the lights is enough!

It's a good age because we can walk for miles with the pram for example, you can't do that with a toddler, or sit and have a coffee whilst they sleep.

Make the most of it : soon you'll have a toddler crashing about the house! You'll never sit still, believe me.

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acquiescence · 25/02/2017 19:35

Sit in a cafe and enjoy him not being able to move!
I remember feeling like this, usually my plan was to just get through the day. I used to like lying in bed together looking at books fair toys and snuggling.

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