AIBU to think the dumb blonde joke is just not funny?

[mumto2two]

I'm a natural blonde..always have been, and my daughters are too.
However, I have a 'friend' who is forever making the dumb blonde comment. Constantly making comments about so and so having a blonde moment. So and so being a ditsy dumb blonde, and regularly chastises her kids etc when she thinks they've said something stupid, with the comment..stop being so blonde. To be honest it's starting to get to me. My daughter sometimes plays with her kids, and has started asking what she means. Why does her mummy think blonde people are stupid? How do you answer such a question? Because her mummy is ignorant and rude? It is really starting to bug me. On a group play date yesterday, with a very diverse bunch of mums, all colours shapes and sizes, the blonde line was strung out a few times. Yet I was the only blonde. I have never been one to take easy offence with banter, having worked in the days of pre pc..I've really heard it all, but I suddenly felt really quite annoyed, and offended! I've got a first class degree and a professional qualification..and I almost felt like having to defend my intellectual reputation as not being dumb! AIBU? Do others get this?
If you have a black haired friend or a dark skinned friend, or a fat one or a skinny one..is it ever right to constantly make pertinent prejudiced remarks like that? Misconceived as humour??..which of course it is not!

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Yanbu. I thought the whole "dumb blonde" thing were now really quite over with, haven't heard anybody make that sort of joke for years now.

[CaraAspen]

It's a stereotype fir a reason, perhaps??

[CaraAspen]

It's a stereotype for a reason, perhaps??

[CityMole]

YANBU. Your friend is a bit thick if she thinks it's appropriate to talk about. the fact she goes on about it suggests to me she might be jealous or insecure about your appearance.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

I think going down the "stereotypes exist for a reason" route is really quite unwise.

[mumto2two]

There are a lot of stereotypes that have existed for reasons of ignorance and bigotry..yes!

[Aeroflotgirl]

Very narrow Cara, my friends who have blond hair are actually quite intelligent, university educated, professional jobs.

[mumto2two]

And I have also known many non natural blondes who have certainly not been dumb either..

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Indeed op. Certain types of people like to say they exist because "it's based in truth" though

[Lulooo]

I've always thought it too be very rude to make 'dumb blonde' jokes. It's stereotypical and prejudiced and doesn't sit well.
Brown eyed brunette myself.

[Iwasjustabouttosaythat]

YANBU. They're right up there with "Essex girls" jokes.

You don't think your friend is deliberately trying to belittle you?

[MuseumOfCurry]

It's not funny and yes, it's rooted in sexism.

If I can try to find some sense in it, I'd say it's because women tend not to be natural blonds (it becomes darker into adulthood) so it's more a commentary on women who spend a lot of time and money on their hair than a random genetic trait.

But it's unwise, as others have pointed out.

[booklooker]

That would irritate me immensely. Who comes out with that sort of crap these days?

It's a stereotype for a reason, perhaps?? wtf?

[travellingfailsman]

CaraAspen It's a stereotype for a reason, perhaps??

Yes! But shouldn't you be in the kitchen cooking your husband's dinner?

[justilou]

Ask her if she would replace the word "blonde" with "black person" or "homosexual" and let her know it's a similar form of offence.

[gardenangels]

I hate it too! I am a natural blonde and hearing those comments make me feel beyond furious.

[M0stlyBowlingHedgehog]

Knackered - you're now my hero

I must confess to having made self-deprecating dumb blonde jokes (with the important caveat that these were told to people who know me, and know I have a PhD in a very hard bit of science!) I was very amused at the come-back from one of my lovely male colleagues.

Me: Maybe I'd get a faster turn-around from IT support if I played the dumb blonde card...

Him: Yeah, but the trouble is you're not a natural dumb...

[BreconBeBuggered]

Bloody fucks me off too, OP, and at the risk of sounding like a humourless twat, I never let it go unchallenged. If made by another blonde I tell them blankly to speak for themselves. I even had someone try backtracking with 'Oh, but you're not blonde, Brecon'. My hair colour has never been anything that couldn't be described as very blonde indeed.

I'm also kind of top-heavy, which makes me doubly dim in certain eyes. Whole other thread, perhaps.

[Rainydayspending]

Being a busty red head i get a lot of shitty ignorant "jokes". Telling people to sort their head out also results in the stereotype that i must have a temper. Those people are just nasty. Take time off from her. Insecurity is a red herring. She's just not a nice person.

[museumum]

Is the friend blonde herself?

I'm a natural (dark now) blonde and I don't like blonde jokes and would never use them.
I do let it slide when some blonde women say 'i'm being so blonde' about themselves but i wouldn't let it slide in presence of a child with blonde hair - i'd say to the friend 'i don't want you to give my child a complex, she's not dim, please don't use that stereotype around her'. If a conversation ensued i'd go on to say that i don't really like it around me either but i wouldn't push that first, first i'd push the effect on the little girls as that's really unfair.

[ladyvimes]

YANBU
Had it all my life. Hate it! Yes I am blonde but I am certainly not dumb! Usually jokes come from older misogynists (not that I'm stereotyping)!

[mumto2two]

Exactly my thoughts Justilou. Whether you prejudice somebody on the colour of their hair, their skin or whatever individual traits we may have, it is plainly wrong.
Love your colleague's reply Hedgehog!
And no museumum, she is not a blonde herself, is mixed race and has very black hair. So can't use the self-deprecating excuse!

[movingtobelfast]

knackered I love you! Filed away.

[LoupGarou]

YANBU at all. I have naturally very pale blonde hair, its very annoying how hilarious other people find it and how nobody believes my hair isn't dyed . I also have the unfortunate side effect of looking innocent and doll like, and have not infrequently been told I look like a blow up sex doll which gives me the absolute rage . I have perfected a resting bitch face but get told my pouting is cute! Ffs.