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DH expecting me to barge past crowds of people

(8 Posts)
TheFrenchiesEar Tue 21-Feb-17 10:09:35

DH loves going to see live music. Trouble is he drinks a lot and then all sense of social skills goes out of the window with him and I find it so hard and embarrassing.

Basically he likes to get right at the front. I used to when I was younger but now with a bad back and a slightly more reserved nature I can't handle it anymore. I get claustrophobic and stressed out.

Anyway we were going to see a band Saturday night and I told DH before hand that I wouldn't be barging my way to the front. He accepted this but when we got there he did his usual trick of grabbing my hand and weaving through the (then pretty sparse) crowd to the front. I stayed there with him but half way through the main set (over two hours later) my back was killing and I felt like I was going to piss myself. DH also wanted another drink and the bog so we (irritatingly) weaved our way back through the (now tight packed) crowd. People were tutting at us and getting annoyed, I was so embarrassed. After getting our drinks I told DH we had a great view from the bar and I didn't want to barge back in again. He sAid he wanted to get just a bit further in 🙄 So he grabs my hand and starts barging back through the crowd. By this point people are pushing back into him, shouting at him (which he ignores) and trying to prevent him from getting back in. All to confrontational for me so I shake his hand off and hold back. When he realises I'm not with him anymore he barges BACK through the crowd to re-grab me. I refuse to move. He then starts saying "you're preventing me from getting a good spot! I can't believe you're doing this to me! My favourite band!" Blah blah ... he's seen this band 5 times before and EVERY band is his "favourite band".

I told him to go in if he wAnted, I was happy to re-meet him afterwards so he just stood there shaking his head in a "I'm so disappointed" way, refusing to go in without me and basically just acting like a baby.

He KNOWS I'm an introvert, he knows I'm claustrophobic, he knows I don't like barging people out of the way and causing confrontation yet he still tries to force it on me!!


SundialShadow Tue 21-Feb-17 10:15:58

Yanbu. These are not the actions of a loving partner.

Does your husband regularly disregard your feelings in this way in favour of what he wants?

OurBlanche Tue 21-Feb-17 10:16:00

Yes! YABU.

Very unreasonable not to rip him a new one! Tell him to go alone next time, that his behaviour hurts you physically as well as emotionally. Be clear that his alcoholic prattishness is a great turn off and is making you very unhappy to socialise with him.

If he squeaks ask him why his feelings are so much more important than yours and why he feels unable to come to a simple compromise?

SoMuchPain Tue 21-Feb-17 10:19:55

Wow!!! He's not a nice person when he drinks!! My uncle is like this - I hate it. Cos it's my uncle I keep my distance when he's drunk. It's a shame to have to avoid things and not enjoy things because of his drinking. This then makes his drinking a problem I've told him. YANBU and your DH needs to be told when he's sober exactly what his behaviour is like.

user1477282676 Tue 21-Feb-17 10:22:30

God....sorry OP he sounds like a total wanker!

You need to discuss this and tell him NO WAY is it OK.

Any of it!

I wouldn't even GO to the stupid concerts!

redexpat Tue 21-Feb-17 11:19:11

Yeah I would never go to another concert with him ever again.

saoirse31 Tue 21-Feb-17 11:23:24

Yanbu except for being embarrassed at having to move to back from the front....

HecateAntaia Tue 21-Feb-17 11:23:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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