Sobbing all day due to pain and fed up(2 Posts)
AIBU to have been an emotional wreck today and given in to all the pain I'm feeling?
I have spent the entire day in bed. In pain. Crying on and off. For the following reasons:
A work clique are bullying me, it's being dealt with but has done me much damage emotionally and wrecked whatever little confidence I had in myself professionally. Husband sick of me being on a downer and threatening to leave my current role.
I also desperately want to have a baby but....
I have been (tmi...sorry) basically been having bleeding for nearly 2 weeks with lots of pelvic pain. Alongside that...I have low red blood cells count, have had various unpleasant scans done etc etc. My gynaecology is going crazy sad. I have PCOS. I just hope I can have another LO. I'm so worried and frightened.
I have a load of other checks to have that will mean bye bye to all dignity when I'm next at GP. Based on those checks I will either see a gynae consultant in 2 weeks or 18 weeks. Terrified as last smear test was borderline. Needless to say dh and I 'relationship' on the back burner in the ahem department. He's understanding but grumpy. I feel I'm neglecting him. I worry he could look elsewhere than at me...I feel like a fat useless lump and wreck. I wonder how iaf he is still with me. I'm a waste of space.
Oh and after dancing too much yesterday at my lo's birthday party...I've done my back in. Couldn't see my Mum on her birthday, as struggling to move. So now feeling like worst daughter ever. Also my lo ill so I've had 4 hours interrupted sleep last night. My Mum is so understanding but my Mum is ill. I don't know how many birthdays I will have with her.
Meanwhile I've been crying and fed up all I hear from Mum and hubby and bullies at work is I'm too sensitive. I get upset too easily..... I nearly lost my Mum last year. I lost my Dad nearly 2 years ago. I'm in agony. I've been bleeding half the effing month. I'm being made to feel I'm rubbish at my job. 3 of my friends are expecting (I'm really happy for them but feel like I won't be able to join that club again and get upset when I see them. Stupid, I know). My husband ignores me emotionally and just wants me to calm down. I rarely get to spend time with my lo because of work and exhaustion. I just want to cry. I just feel everything is falling apart and I'm scared and feeling so alone. Help me someone. Please sad
You poor thing. Wanted to send a quick reply to say you've got so much on all at once that it's not surprising you feel overwhelmed. Everything from still grieving about your dad to worrying about your mum to your DH and your daughter and your job and your health - that's pretty much the most important things in your life right there!
YABU to take a day to cry and be fragile. But you will have to start dealing with it one little bit at a time - some bits might be much less than you think. My DF always says, "if you have to eat an elephant, take very small bites".
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