DD upset again

[queenofshihtzus]

Please be gentle with me. My DD is 8. She's goes to really small school, there are just eight in the year group. She's have some problems with one of the other children. This other child has approached me and said unpleasant things to me about my DD - that she's cleverier than DD, her work is harder, my DD is spoilt etc. I didn't know quite what to say so I've told the teacher but she's done nothing. Today, DD came out in floods of tears , she does most days, this time all the others in the year had got an award of some sort during assembly but not DD. She was very upset. I spoke to the teacher who said 'DD will have to try harder'.

I don't expect my DD to be treated better than anyone else just fairly. My DD is really struggling with her confidence. She has no self esteem at all. Again, I've spoken to her teacher about this but she's done nothing to help - for example my DD wanted to be on the school council but she wasn't chosen instead the same children who had done it the previous year got chosen again. Am I being petty? For info, I have no network of support with my dcs hence turning to mumsnet.

[Squirmy65ghyg]

This is fucked up. Request a meeting with the Head.

Why in earth didn't you put the kid that was being unpleasant about your DC in her place?! That's shocking. Maybe you need some assertiveness training OP? Sounds awful

[Squirmy65ghyg]

*Shocking that the kid had the brass neck I mean.

[Out2pasture]

I'd be looking at a school with a bigger cohort. 8 is too small.

[PumpkinPie2016]

Your poor DD I think I would have told the child not to be so rude!

As a teacher myself, I think giving 7/8 children an award and not the final one is awful - there must be something your DD has done that could have been recognised. To me, this is even more important when you know a child is struggling socially.

Easier said than done but could you look for another school? Perhaps a slightly bigger school would open up friendship opportunities?

[SalmonFajitas]

I would definitely be arranging a meeting with school, tell her teacher that your DD is seriously struggling with her confidence and self esteem and you want to develop a detailed plan about how you're going to help her at school.

[ElderDruid]

Are you the Mum who sat next to sat and spawn on the coach trip? Or do we have a collection of little madams who think it's good to broadcast how amazing they are?

I would certainly address this child's behaviour with the head. With regards to rewards and school council, I think it's just one of them things. Hopefully you get a better teacher next year willing to give DD a chance on the council. Hopefully the lack of award might motivate DD to push herself, so she gets an award before Easter. Yes the teacher could be being unreasonable, we still have to motivate our DC to try their hardest, as that's all they can do.

Does your DD have any SEN?

[ScarlettFreestone]

I would have had quite a lot to say to the rude child personally.

I would also be going back to see teacher (and then head) for them to explain why excluding a single child from an awards presentation meets their aims for my child and how it sits with the school's core values.

[queenofshihtzus]

You're can quite right, I should have put the other child in her place and I'm kicking myself now for not doing so

[ScarlettFreestone]

I can well imagine you'd be a bit speechless!

[CotswoldStrife]

The school council thing may be unavoidable, as the children vote for it in my DD's school.

Leaving her out of the awards is grim though - surely they could have come up with something, were the awards that were given out all for the same thing?

If you are the coach parent I do remember your other thread. Are there any other schools nearby? Does your daughter do any out-of-school clubs?

[Aeroflotgirl]

Gosh that is unacceptable! I would be looking at moving her to another school as they sound as good as a chocolate teapot. I would request a meeting with the head teacher, leaving one out, is unacceptable, the way they are dealing with the issues is not on.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Yes I would be asking for an action plan, on addressing her self esteem and confidence issues.

[foodiefil]

Your poor DD. I had a teacher at primary school who didn't like me. I was in year 4 so 9. And she made my life very difficult - I know now I probably got on her nerves but I was a child and she made me feel small and left out. Is this also a problem? Sometimes teachers pander to popularity as well. They aren't saints.