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to think the world stops when the woman is ill

(15 Posts)
lemondropcake Sun 05-Feb-17 10:37:55

I have a really bad cold. Blocked nose. Unable to sleep at all, aches, headache and sore throat. I have still had to work because I'm in a new job and still on probation. I am a postwoman so I spent yesterday walking all day in the pissing rain. I came home and had a bath, felt like I was going to throw up with exhaustion.
dp was at the football so my mum dropped dd home and I ordered an Indian. I had a Chinese the night before that too because I don't want to cook.
my moan is that dp is bloody useless when I'm ill. House is a state and there is nothing in, no bread or fruit or anything for tea.I constantly need to nag for anything to be done.
last straw, I asked if he could bring me up some weetabix and he hasn't poured enough milk in, so I'm sat eating dry weetabix. There is no point trying to rest! I may as well go get dressed and sort the damn house and fridge out myself, otherwise everything will be half arsed like the weetabix!

Anyone else just feel like the world stops when your ill? Not allowed to be ill or to rest because everyone needs a piece of you?

UnbornMortificado Sun 05-Feb-17 10:43:46

DH is actually ok. All my exes were useless though. Even so he needs detailed, detailed instructions on how things work.

Massive sympathy if you have similar to DD it's horrid I've had her off school five days with it and she's never ill. It's her head she's mostly twisting about.

Hope you feel better soon flowers

OuchBollocks Sun 05-Feb-17 10:44:22

Your 'd'p should be ashamed of himself and needs telling so. I've just been in hospital for 10 days and 'amazingly' my DH has managed to look after himself and DD, doing meals, shopping, baths, laundry and hospital visits without his penis dropping off. I'm home now and under instructions to rest, he's still being fantastic. Because he's a fucking grown up and my partner not an idiot. Obviously I would do the same for him.

Hope you feel better soon and give that man-child a big kick up the bum. Do you have any children?

Flisstizzy Sun 05-Feb-17 10:47:36

No, don't get up and sort it. Go fecking beserk from your sick bed, and get him to sort it. You need to rest.

lemondropcake Sun 05-Feb-17 10:54:38

Its the fact I have to nag and nag until I snap and fall out with him. Just had to nag him to do the washing up but I know I will have to go and finish it because he doesn't clean counters, hob or sweep the floor.
I went for a bath at 5am this morning because I couldn't sleep because I was so uncomfortable. I haven't slept the whole night and I am so grumpy I could cry.
But there is no point in resting because I need to sort everything out or else I will be coming home from work tomorrow to it all to do. I just don't have the energy to say can you put a wash on? Can you Hoover? Can you do this and that like some military wife. I just wish he would do it off his own back like I have to the rest of the time.
Housework was never his strong point and he does work hard outside the house but so do I and just for once I really need a bloody rest.

stevemolly Sun 05-Feb-17 11:24:06

I've got the same at the moment. DH had fa serious illness for a few years so I have a feeling when anyone else gets ill it annoys him, I don't think he means it but he was in chronic severe pain for 4 years but I just get a feeling he's thinking "you've got a cold get over it".

I feel so shit though and I'm sat here making a boat for dd's moana figures.
Went to Asda yesterday and will have to work both of my jobs tomorrow.

Rugbyplayersarehot Sun 05-Feb-17 11:27:31

My utter sympathy op I have had the worst cold I have ever had followed by the winter vomiting bug and although dh looked after me lots of regular jobs slipped like toilet clean and washing sorted. I caught dh attempting to open the washing machine and not knowing how! He's 50.

He's a divine cook though.

You shout out op and just tell him what you need him to do. Some people just need telling while others just seem to know.

Get well soon flowers

deblet Sun 05-Feb-17 11:29:38

I had to train my DH but because my father was useless and annoyed me I trained him from the get go. Men just don't place the same importance on stuff we do so you have to drill it into them. I would stay in bed and let him get on with it. Nobody will die if the counter or floor isn't cleaned for a couple of days but you can make your health worse. My Dh is great now but it took a lot to get him there.

Rugbyplayersarehot Sun 05-Feb-17 11:29:42

Just saw your catch up.

Can you write him a list? Tell him it has to be all done and you just can't do it all yourself this once?

Rugbyplayersarehot Sun 05-Feb-17 11:31:46

See this is it agree deblet my dh will say things like 'leave the beds they don't need changing you rest up' er yes they do and you need to do them. He wouldn't think that way unless specifically tasked.

OuchBollocks Sun 05-Feb-17 11:33:55

men just don't place the same importance on stuff we do

Like shite they don't. Do you honestly believe the OPs partner would feed himself manky dry weetabix? It's bone bloody idleness and an attitude of "why should I do it?" He knows full well that the OP gets fed up of 'nagging' is trying to get him to do something properly in the first damn place and will do it herself.

lemondropcake Sun 05-Feb-17 12:02:47

Bloody hell. I can hear the Hoover. I didn't even ask. Maybe hes got the picture now.
he's great at fixing things but housework hes awful.
Dd is in and out the bedroom asking what we are doing today, why we haven't left the house yet, what are our plans.
I'm sat with sudocrem under my nose because it is so dry and sore. I am going nowhere! Twice I have been asked why I have white paint under my nose.
Thinking of getting the flu jab. I don't have any illness that entitles me to get it on the nhs but this is my third cold in three months and I'm sick of it. I eat fruit and veg until it's coming out my ears and I exercise and get plenty vitamin d but if there is something to catch I will catch it.

ShowMePotatoSalad Sun 05-Feb-17 12:04:13

If I'm ill or tired I go to bed and DH brings me a drink and something to eat. He takes care of everything. I would, and have done, the same for him. It's a partnership. I couldn't put up with someone who didn't help me when I needed it.

Magzmarsh Sun 05-Feb-17 12:13:54

My dh is ok but it's taken years of training 😬. He used to do weird things like scrub all the mould off the bathroom ceiling but leave the toilet pan minging. Or clean the oven but not the work tops. Weird.

deblet Sun 05-Feb-17 12:17:17

I was actually referring to the housework hmm

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