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AIBU to tell him to go

(12 Posts)
Luciferthethird Sun 05-Feb-17 05:46:15

Ex and I are splitting up he decided he wanted to go out last night out of the blue get a txt while I'm at work telling me he's going out. This leaves me after a 10 hour shift to come home feed ds1 who's 3 and dd2 2 and put them to bed. Sounds easy enough but ds has SN.
I told ex not to go out. He can't afford it needs the money he has to pay his first months rent and deposit and i couldnt trust him not to sleep we broke up because of his cheating with anyone else. I've told him not to bother coming back last night and to find some where else to stay, he did come back I was too tired to fight with him about leaving i knew he wouldn't. AIBU to tell him to pack up and go today. In also refusing to lend him money if he asks which he probably will. I can't cope anymore I just want him out and to get some closure.

Baffledonthisone Sun 05-Feb-17 06:01:52

YANBU to refuse to lend money. If he doesn't pay rent YANBU to send him away. Change YOUR locks, if they are yours.

YABU to think putting 2 DC to bed after a 10hr shift is only difficult when one has SN.

CupOfTeaAndAbiscuitPlease Sun 05-Feb-17 06:25:08

If you are splitting up then it is none of your business who he sleeps with.

Get used to putting them to bed alone as you'll have to do it as a single parent.

He should have fed the children if it was their normal meal time.

Yanbu to refuse to lend money. Yanbu to want him to go unless it is his house too.

Baffledonthisone Sun 05-Feb-17 06:28:23

Get used to putting them to bed alone as you'll have to do it as a single parent.

I think there is a difference between having that as a routine and having it added to your schedule at the last minute so their df can go out drinking and shagging.

Megatherium Sun 05-Feb-17 06:40:05

FFS, CupOfTea, there's a difference between feeding children and putting them to bed when you were expecting to have to do it, and having to rush home from work to do it when you thought their father was going to do it. There's also a difference between a normal day's work and a ten hour shift.

Absolutely chuck him out, OP, he's clearly completely unreliable; and point out to him that, not only will not not lend him money, you expect him to pay for his children's maintenance.

CupOfTeaAndAbiscuitPlease Sun 05-Feb-17 06:46:33

A 10hr shift is a normal day for my work 🤔

Baffledonthisone Sun 05-Feb-17 06:49:51

Why is that the only point you reply to? 🤔

Luciferthethird Sun 05-Feb-17 10:44:28

A 10 hour shift is a normal day for me too but he's been working nights all week while I've been in pretty much sole charge of the Dc's. I'm shattered and war looking forward to a break.
He's here and telling me if i want him to leave he's going to have to stay with the woman he was sleeping with during on of our breaks. I don't think he really wants this as she wants a relationship and he doesn't. At this point I don't care where he goes i just want him out.

Luciferthethird Sun 05-Feb-17 10:45:26

It's his home in one sense that he doesn't have another but i had him taken off the lease when all this came out.

BarryTheKestrel Sun 05-Feb-17 10:55:53

Kick him out. Let him go and live with her. Whether he wants it or not, you two are no longer together and hes making your life a misery. He made his bed, he needs to lie in it.

Fig678 Sun 05-Feb-17 11:02:47

Yanbu ask him to go and you can do so safe in the knowledge that'll he'll have a roof over his head, even if it is with OW

foxyloxy78 Sun 05-Feb-17 11:08:11

Tell him to leave. He made his bed. Let him lie in it now. You're better off without him.

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