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Bounced cheque wedding gift?!

(204 Posts)
ConfusedUser Wed 01-Feb-17 10:45:16

Hi, I am a first time poster, in need of advice!

I got married a few months ago and received many generous gifts - mainly cash as we have lived together for several years and didn't need any house related things. Of course some of these were in the form of cheques which we had to lodge at the bank. However one cheque, for whatever reason, bounced was returned to me.

I am now at the stage where I am about to write thank you cards, and do not know what to say in this couple's card! My DM is of the opinion that I should politely say something along the lines of "Thank you for the cheque unfortunately it was returned to me" and enclose it, in case they want to send another gift.

I really don't want to be rude though, and am aware that this would seem very cheeky and possibly even money grabbing - which I am not, we have received so much already and I would not be expecting them to send anything else.

However, if it were the other way around and a cheque that I had given as a wedding gift bounced, I would be mortified and would definitely want to know! (Yes I would perhaps send them something else instead but that's just me and again, I am absolutely not demanding any further presents from them!)

No amount of googling has provided any helpful answers - please let me know what you would do in this situation?!

Newtssuitcase Wed 01-Feb-17 10:45:47

did it bounce or did you wait too long to cash it in?

PlayingGrownUp Wed 01-Feb-17 10:46:44

I think you should return the cheque if only so they are aware it bounced. Maybe they genuinely thought it cleared.

NavyandWhite Wed 01-Feb-17 10:47:58

Surely they will know it's bounced? Agree it's a bit of a dilemma for you 😬

Andbabymakesthree Wed 01-Feb-17 10:48:56

It's quite simple. You let them know that cheque wasn't accepted at bank so they can ensure they are aware of any fees that might be incurred.

If someone is having cheques bounced I'd not be comfortable accepting money off them tbh. Sounds like financial issues.

Andbabymakesthree Wed 01-Feb-17 10:49:40

Agree with needing to know how long you waited to cash it in.

ThisisrealityGreg Wed 01-Feb-17 10:50:39

Is it someone you know well? I'd rather ring them so they know and then it's obvious you're not being sniffy about it.

FooFighter99 Wed 01-Feb-17 10:51:08

I think if the cheque bounced then they are probably having money problems and will not be in a position to send a replacement gift...

Personally I'd rip the cheque up and forget about it smile

dowhatnow Wed 01-Feb-17 10:52:17

Tricky one.

I think I'd go with a thanks for enjoying our day with us, just to let you know, your cheque was returned but please don't worry about it, we were really pleased to see you. Then witter on about other stuff. So let them know but gloss over it.
Or dont send a thank you at all but then they might think you are rude,

redpriestandmozart Wed 01-Feb-17 10:52:36

Not sure if you can still do this but years ago when this happened to me my bank told me to lodge it again after end of the month which is generally pay day and there will be more money in the account and it worked. I don't know if it is still possible to do this, perhaps ask the bank.

QueenMortificado Wed 01-Feb-17 10:54:08

Id just give them a call to let them know, if they're close enough to you that you invited them to the wedding presumably they're close enough to you to be able to talk to you!

If a cheque id given someone bounced id be mortificado and would want to know right away! Not receive a passive aggressive message in a card curtly returning the cheque

CoraPirbright Wed 01-Feb-17 10:54:12

Isn't it 6 months grace to cash cheques? Quite a long time I think. Anyway, I would ask the bank what the protocol is - will they inform the cheque-giver that the cheque bounced? If so, I would leave it to them and just write a thank you note saying how kind and generous their gift was. Utterly mortifying for everyone otherwise.

stayathomegardener Wed 01-Feb-17 10:54:32

Surely if a cheque has bounced the bank write to you and let you know (with charges!)
Check the policy of the bank.

livefornaps Wed 01-Feb-17 10:54:34



Whydidwedoit4times Wed 01-Feb-17 10:55:16

Good god don't tell them that would be so bloody rude as they are clearly having financial problems.

It was a gift not a payment.

They might be mortified. Just rip it up and move on.

titchy Wed 01-Feb-17 10:56:29

Your DM is correct.

However I have to say, depositing cheques and not sending thank you cards till several months later is pretty crap of you.

RumAppleGinger Wed 01-Feb-17 10:56:32

I would rip up the cheque and send a thank you card thanking them for attending your wedding. I wouldn't mention that it had bounced.

Somerville Wed 01-Feb-17 10:57:04

Either it was an admin error somewhere along the line, or they're having financial problems. I would rather err on the side of not contributing to them feeling like they had to spend money on me that they don't have, so I wouldn't mention it. I'd keep the wording in the thank you letter vague, though, so as not to lie.
And the fact that several months have gone by would make me even more so decide not to mention it. They might have had the cash when they wrote the cheque but not when you presented it at the bank.
A few months is a bit later than is really polite for thank you cards in my opinion so hurry up and finish them! smile

witsender Wed 01-Feb-17 10:57:04

They should know, they'll have been contacted about the fees etc. I would rip it up and leave it, they'll be embarrassed.

InfiniteSheldon Wed 01-Feb-17 10:57:07

livefornaps grin

waterrat Wed 01-Feb-17 10:57:38

Gosh I think it is incredibly rude to tell them.

Just thank them generally for being so kind then tear it up and forget it.

If you tell them it's just openly angling for them tell replace it.

LaunchParty Wed 01-Feb-17 10:57:40

They will have been informed by the bank that it bounced. Just say nothing at all

xStefx Wed 01-Feb-17 10:57:52

I wouldn't say anything to them, they may be experiencing money troubles for the cheque to bounce. To flag it may upset them.

waterrat Wed 01-Feb-17 10:58:44

It's also very rude not to cash a cheque immediately as it could then come as a surprise when they aren't expecting it to leave their account.

DJKKSlider Wed 01-Feb-17 10:58:47

Op, how much was the cheque for? I believe the cancelled cheque was £150?

Imagine if this op is the money grabbing bride from that original thread?
ignore the fact that that bride sent thank yous and cheekiness

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