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to be worried about ex husband taking kids on holiday

(9 Posts)
BelleBoyd Thu 26-Jan-17 19:54:41

My ex husband is thinking about taking our kids (7 and 3) on holiday this year on his own.
He's never done this before and previously we have gone on holidays together for various reasons.
I don't think this will happen again as the last holiday was really difficult.
On that holiday amongst other incidents he left them in the swimming pool on their own for between 5-10 minutes as he had left his phone in the apartment. Both can't swim in deep water. And the pool was unattended. I was quite shocked by this and he thought it was fine as it was a short time and there were other people in the pool.
I still feel haunted by this and know that it only takes a few minutes for the worst to happen...
Should I trust him alone with them on a holiday. I feel that incident alone is enough to say I cant?

Newbrummie Thu 26-Jan-17 19:56:18

You have to drum it into him andvthe kids they aren't to be left unattended near water

foxyloxy78 Thu 26-Jan-17 19:56:40

Follow your gut. You know him best. Better to be safe than sorry. Could you not go too?

AwkwardTurtles Thu 26-Jan-17 19:57:02

What can you actually do about it?

BelleBoyd Thu 26-Jan-17 20:01:08

Yes I could go but found it really hard last time.
I was thinking that if I didn't feel they were safe Id have a right to say they couldn't go? I would suggest him going with other family members that I trust not to let that happen?

foxyloxy78 Thu 26-Jan-17 20:03:00

If you can trust the other family members then that sounds like a good alternative.

Ilovecaindingle Thu 26-Jan-17 20:04:14

Realistically you can't stop him as shit as that is . maybe ask him to pay for some swimming lessons before he books a holiday. .the financial implications of that might put him off!

Dolwar Thu 26-Jan-17 20:06:07

They are his kids too remember.

If he wants to take them who are you to stop him? Just try to make it as safe as possible.

building2017 Thu 26-Jan-17 22:37:19

Wait, why are all these responses prioritising his 'rights' rather than responsibilities? 'his kids too' doesn't mean she just has to suck up his shit parenting (if it is shit) and hope for the best.

Does he have charge of the children other times, OP? If he is competent to have them every other weekend then he is competent to have them on holiday.

If he can't be trusted to look after children properly, he shouldn't have them at all.

He could have killed them with that sort of neglect, but I don't know if it is a generalised pattern.

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