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AIBU?

To find baby/toddler groups a bit awkward?

11 replies

Justsayin2889 · 25/01/2017 13:42

Or maybe it's me?

A girl I know went to 1 group years ago and became great friends with about 5 girls all with kids the same age. They all do stuff with the kids regularly which I guess is great because they're all the same age, and then the mums have nights out etc.

Now my only purpose isn't to go to a baby group to make mum mates as I do it for my daughter to keep our days together fun, but it would be nice to get friendly with some people so my dd can have little friends and me have some mum friends. I have my own friends don't get me wrong, either childless or have kids but who are 5 + years older than mine.

It just seems that every one I go to that everyone's brought a friend or family member so it seems really hard to try and talk to anyone else, it some people are just not interested. So I end up mostly sat there on my own while dd is dancing like a loon, and me having the odd exchange of words but nothing else. Just feels so awkward and I kind of envy the girl I know who got a lot more out of these groups.

OP posts:

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Tomorrowillbeachicken · 25/01/2017 13:44

I didn't start these until my DS was four and part time at nursery as tbh I wasn't interested. I don't think that we ever lost out either.

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MWM · 25/01/2017 13:44

I've been to loads like that and I've been to quite a few where people are generally more up for talking to whoever is there. It really does vary so I would say to try some different groups out.

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Rory786 · 25/01/2017 14:03

"dd dancing like a loon" bless!

I know what you mean OP, there are cliques everywhere. I have a decent amount of friends but none are from mother and toddler groups most likely because Im running around my 2 girls (1 and 3) whilst trying to nurse the baby.
Just go, let dd burn off energy. It keeps the house clean, gets you out the house. If they don't provide lunch make sandwiches for your dd to eat on the way home, either in the car or in the pushchair. I do this then mine come home and are all ready for nap time. Bliss!

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Cuppaand2biscuits · 25/01/2017 14:08

I've been to soooo many groups. Some are awkward and cliquey, some are lovely, everyone is friendly and welcoming. Keep trying different groups if you can.
The ones in the towns where the secondary schools are seem least friendly, like they've all been friends before they had children.
The ones in villages tend to be nicer because people haven't got such big social circles already.

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Mari50 · 25/01/2017 14:28

I took my DD to some toddler groups and I'd sit on my own for majority of time, maybe say a couple of words to other parents but not much. My mum would take DD to same groups when I was working and would have long involved conversations and become friends with people. I guess I'm just a bit antisocial. I can't be arsed making friends with people purely because we have a child of similar age. I'm softening a bit as my daughter progresses through school but I still find it difficult. I'm useless at small talk too. Doesn't bother me though.

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formerbabe · 25/01/2017 14:30

I hated them...I'd rather stand up in front of a crowd of thousands of people and make a speech than walk into a baby group.

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BastardGoDarkly · 25/01/2017 14:34

I hated them too, I took DS to rhyme and sing, that was ok, but all the ones where you're expected to be chatting to other mums, I just found horrendous, was probably me, I don't know, but I'm so grateful I'll never have to do it again.

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IceLemonGin · 25/01/2017 14:34

I really have to force myself to take DD to groups due to cliques. I always make an effort to chat to any new people to the group but it was hard being that new person! I find small talk tricky too.

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Mari50 · 25/01/2017 14:44

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MrsPringles · 25/01/2017 14:57

I hate clicky toddler groups. Now DS is 2 & 1/2, I like them more because I can talk and play with him and not sit on my own with a baby with nobody to talk to, I don't even like tea/coffee so I really did look like a loser no mates

Where do you live OP, I'll be your playgroup friend if you're nearby!