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To have told boyfriend off about always wanting to use my laptop?

(35 Posts)
ConstipatedBowel Tue 24-Jan-17 10:16:23

Been seeing someone for a few months and ever since he's been coming around to my house he's made an excuse to use my laptop - he then sits playing on it for the first hour or so that he's here.

He always makes out that he's "researching" something for both of us but that's just an excuse to get on the laptop - he then sits playing around on car forums for at least an hour.

We only see each other at weekends (and sometimes only 2 weekends a month) so it grates on me that as soon as he gets here he's more interested in playing on forums than spending time with me.

Its the same story every time - he gets here and then makes up a conversation which will inevitably lead to him saying "actually, I could do to look that up on the internet, do you mind if I get the laptop out?".

I've been very tolerant of this so far but past few times it has irritated me so weekend before last he turned up and started up a conversation about booking a weekend away - then said "actually, I could do to look up a few places on the internet. Do you mind if I get the laptop out?".

I was ready for it so said "no don't bother, we can look all that up later. Let's decide what we're doing tonight instead." He looked really put out and then said "well, actually I could do with catching up with my forums - I'll just get the laptop out, I won't be on it long ... " shock I wasn't expecting that so didn't know how to react but I was fuming and my irritability spoilt my entire weekend. I was more pissed off with myself for allowing it.

So weekend just gone he got here and started up a conversation about me buying a car (I had mentioned that I was wanting to buy another one) so he said "Actually, I could do to look at autotrader and see what's on there for you. where is the laptop?". So ready for it this time I said "no its ok, I'll have a look later. I'd rather us concentrate on spending a bit of time together so we've not seen each other all week!" (I said this cheerily to keep it light). He looked put out again and said "oh, ok well I'll just catch up with my forums then - I won't be long ... "

So I lost my shit this time and said "I said no, I don't want you using my laptop! You do the same thing every weekend - you're supposed to be here to see me, not play on forums! why can't you do all that before you come here? do you not think it's a bit rude to turn up at someone's house - someone who has been waiting for you just to get out their laptop and sit with your back to them playing on forums???"

He got all defensive and started with the "woah!! ok ok!! wow what's rattled your cage? I'm only on it for about 10 minutes at a time, it's hardly crime of the century!". I said "no, it's at least an hour each time whilst I'm sat waiting for you to come off it because I don't see you all week and I'm fed up of it. If you're not bothered about spending time with me, don't come to my house - simple as that".

Needless to say he spent the rest of the weekend sulking then went home early Sunday as he said he wanted to have a play around on the internet as he'd not been on it since Friday morning!!!

So jury - was I being a brat???

PenguinsandPebbles Tue 24-Jan-17 10:22:59

Nope your not being brat, he sounds awful.

Why doesn't he use his phone? Or use his own laptop at home? Or does he have neither of these things and a sign of things to come.

I appreciate this sounds a bit dramatic, but I dated someone briefly who basically was always wanting to use my laptop to do some work, he was looking through my personal information and playing games on it.

I question why he doesn't want to spend time with you after not seeing you for a week if it's only a few months and he is already annoying you and sulking and blaming you id get rid tbh.

QueenMortifauxcado Tue 24-Jan-17 10:23:15

I live and breathe internet but wouldn't dream of behaving like this. It sounds very rude.

HecateAntaia Tue 24-Jan-17 10:23:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Birdsgottafly Tue 24-Jan-17 10:23:19

Finish it.

He could either buy his own, or if not working, go to the library.

You're an afterthought, he should be dying to see you.

lifetothefull Tue 24-Jan-17 10:26:09

I would find this annoying too. At least he's started to be honest about the reason though. It sounds like he didn't have any idea you were annoyed until you lost it with him. For you it's been simmering a while. for him your annoyance has come out of nowhere. Find a time to talk about it. Tell him you find it annoying for him to do it as soon as he's got here. Try and agree another (short) slot of time that would me more convenient. Eg while you are in the shower / getting ready to go out.

JanuaryMoods Tue 24-Jan-17 10:28:32

He sounds awful. You can do better.

xStefx Tue 24-Jan-17 10:28:41

Np , he would bug me too! pain in the arse

ElspethFlashman Tue 24-Jan-17 10:30:17

Even if he had a cock made of gold, that would be enough for me to finish it, frankly.

ElspethFlashman Tue 24-Jan-17 10:31:56

And if he's like that in "the honeymoon period" imagine what he's like long term?

He is an epic bore. Be glad you found out so soon.

Somerville Tue 24-Jan-17 10:35:59

Does he come and stay with you for the whole weekend? If so, then I think an hour a day sat on your laptop is potentially okay. But if he's just over for an evening or afternoon then clearly he should go online while he's in his own home, in the morning.

But listen, the whole point of dating is working out if you're compatible with someone. Maybe this is a sign that you and him aren't so compatible?

KayTee87 Tue 24-Jan-17 10:39:30

He sounds awful, I'd dump him. He will only get worse.

loadofcrap10 Tue 24-Jan-17 11:11:42

Simples - dump him

Niskayuna Tue 24-Jan-17 11:24:47

What a big baby! Does he have his own internet access? So basically he can't go for a few minutes without his forums. Like a 12 year old.

I had a boyfriend once, came down on the train to visit me. Had a nice day planned. He passed a Game store and enthused about the new Metal Gear Solid, which was fine, I knew he was getting it. But he bought it right there adn then. Oh, OK. He THEN said "So, yeah, about time I was heading off." I was aghast - he was getting the 6pm train back and it was just after lunch. I said "You're trying to cut the visit short for a game? You came all this way and now you're going to scurry back, for that?" He said no, he was sure we had only arranged for him to travel 3 hours, stay for a couple then travel right back after lunch, that was definitely, definitely the plan, why didn't I remember it?

He went. I didn't want him around anyway. I let him grovel and apologise a bit and then dumped him a month later once things were in order. Tosser.

Downstairspoo Tue 24-Jan-17 11:33:06

Is it 2004 in your house? No internet on mobile devices? Why does he need to log on at your house
I "catch up" on my forum (mumsnet) about 20 million times a day on my phone.

user1477282676 Tue 24-Jan-17 11:35:46

It all sounds incredibly immature somehow. Doesn't he have a laptop of his own? Why is he so desparate? Has he no internet in his own home?

user1477282676 Tue 24-Jan-17 11:36:47

And I could not COPE with his phrasing

"Actually, I could do to look"



What does that even mean? Is that what he actually says?

Downstairspoo Tue 24-Jan-17 11:39:01

Was my going to post the same user thought was a typo then saw it was repeated in the OP
Who the actual fuck says "could do to look"
I'd pretend you can't understand what he's saying

WanderingNotLost Tue 24-Jan-17 11:39:43

Put a password on your laptop and don't tell him what it is. Job done.

WanderingNotLost Tue 24-Jan-17 11:41:01

and user and Downstairs I spotted that and it bugged me too!!

aginghippy Tue 24-Jan-17 11:57:09

YANBU he is the one who is being a brat. He spent the weekend sulking.

He is more interested in his forums than in spending time with you.

TheMaddHugger Tue 24-Jan-17 12:20:43

Give him the Boot

Have you looked at his history of what he really does on your laptop?

user1477282676 Tue 24-Jan-17 13:17:38

OP's not coming back! I want to know if she quoted him exactly!

TheMaddHugger Tue 24-Jan-17 13:25:18

user1477282676 Tue 24-Jan-17 13:17:38
OP's not coming back! I want to know if she quoted him exactly!

why do you say OP is not comeing back ?

ConstipatedBowel Tue 24-Jan-17 14:46:20

Yes that was quoted word for word. If that annoys you then what about this one:

"I want to have a bit relax".

No missing words there, that's exactly how he say it. He's a geordie if that explains it?

He does have internet at his home yes, that's what annoys me. He plays on forums at home and then immediately as soon as he gets to my house! Plus he stays in bed until lunch time on the Sunday so I'm starting to wonder what the point is to be honest.

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