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DH iPhone use

(36 Posts)
knackeredinyorkshire Fri 20-Jan-17 10:05:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuiteLikely5 Fri 20-Jan-17 10:21:55

I can understand you saying no phones at the dinner table but expecting a grown man to follow the same rules as your children is a bit much.

I'm assuming your kids have these rules in place so that they can get on with homework etc but your dh doesn't have those commitments does he?

I think it's harsh saying no phones in rooms as a 13yo might get texts etc from her friends

Rhumba Fri 20-Jan-17 10:24:02

Oh God I could have written this (even same age kids!) although he doesn't tend to lose it as it is permantly by his side. Drives me batty. Asked him to listen to music practice the other day for 10 bloody mins and pop in and he is engrossed in his ****phone while (not) listening. JUST PUT IT DOWN!!! Also glad to hear I'm not the only one who gave a second hand phone as birthday pressie as apparently ALL her friends got Iphone 7s...

ShowMePotatoSalad Fri 20-Jan-17 10:27:16

Sorry, but I think YABU.

If a grown man wants to check the news on his phone of a morning, then why not? It's just the modern day equivalent of reading the paper.

Kids need to learn that adults can do certain things and when they are older they will be able to use their phones as much as they want, too.

You can't really be telling him he can't check his phone. If it interferes with your life to the extent that he is never off it then that is a relationship problem rather than anything else.

Personally, I think your rules for the kids are also a bit excessive. How long are you expecting them not to have their phones with them?When are they allowed to use their phones? In 2 years time your then 15 year old is going to be all over their phone like a seagull on hot chips. Teenagers and electronic gadgets go hand in hand.

TheNaze73 Fri 20-Jan-17 10:28:49

I think YABU

Topsy44 Fri 20-Jan-17 10:30:36

I don't think yabu but phones unfortunately do become very addictive. Could he start off meeting you halfway and agree to no phones at mealtimes and then progress from there.

MadameCholetsDirtySecret Fri 20-Jan-17 10:30:58

It is completely inappropriate to tell another adult what to do.

FV45 Fri 20-Jan-17 10:34:58

Is your DH on board with the rules you have set for the kids?
I mean, did you discuss them as a couple and present them to the kids as a united front? If not then you're on your own really.

Does your DH enforce the rules when you are not at home?

But if it something you both agreed on, then I do think he should practice as he preaches.

IkeaTatPrincess Fri 20-Jan-17 10:35:58

Me and DH realised we were on the edge of our phone use being problematic - our solution is to have a place in the flat where the phones live, and if you want to check Facebook/MN/news or anything you have to be standing up. No more sitting on the sofa/in bed endlessly browsing.

It's worked really well, but only because we both agreed that we were getting slightly addicted to our phones. I don't know what to suggest if he doesn't think there is a problem.

ShowMePotatoSalad Fri 20-Jan-17 10:36:36

OP, do you and DH go to bed when your kids do? If you stay up later then you're basically saying "do as I say, not as I do".

Have you ever had a glass of wine at a family meal? Do as I say, not as I do.

You can't lead a childlike existence just because you have children.

knackeredinyorkshire Fri 20-Jan-17 10:45:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

knackeredinyorkshire Fri 20-Jan-17 10:48:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShowMePotatoSalad Fri 20-Jan-17 10:49:48

No need to be defensive, OP.

FV45 Fri 20-Jan-17 10:58:06

hundreds of texts a day? Is that normal for young teens and pre-teens (I have a 17 and 7 yo).

Salzundessig Fri 20-Jan-17 10:58:39

Op i completely agree with you and it would drive me crazy too. Yanbu and I agree with it being important for children, and adults, to learn the ability to switch off and not answer everything and need to know everything immediately.

strugglingstepdad Fri 20-Jan-17 11:05:03

As a man who is permanently attached to his phone I think your not unreasonable at all. We have similar rules for the kids with their pads (only eldest has a phone).

I do find it hard to put down my tab or phone at any time, but if requested for family time I do it.

I think that it takes away from family if your concentrating on your phone and not the fun times.

knackeredinyorkshire Fri 20-Jan-17 11:06:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stupidphone Fri 20-Jan-17 11:16:30

My 10 year old is desperate for a phone, but like you must know working within mental health, I have reservations and would have rules. We only have iPad time at the weekends and both kids have accepted this as ok. It may be normal for teens and gadgets to go hand in hand but will it be 'normal' when they are all having therapy for mental health issues and bullying. It's the after school bullying on group chat that they can't get away from and think it is totally reasonable for teens to have no phones at nighttime. By the time they are adults then hopefully they maybe mentally stronger to cope with the constant messaging and possible bullying problems. Good luck with DH though! Mine is worse than the kids and find it really anti social!

FV45 Fri 20-Jan-17 11:27:55

Oh I see - it's notifications for all those Apps!

My 17 yo drives me bonkers with his whatapp - he has to respond right away. I've laid down the ground rules.

dollydaydream114 Fri 20-Jan-17 11:41:04

He 'has' to read the news on his phone during breakfast,

It used to be common practice for people to read their morning newspaper over breakfast - my dad did it every day when I was a kid.

I don't remember anyone thinking that was strange or rude, so I don't think reading the news on a phone is any different.

eitak22 Fri 20-Jan-17 11:51:00

I can definitely see where you're coming from and i would agree that if you are having family time then he needs to also not use his phone especially as he helped to form these rules. The children will notice if he being hypocritical and will then be less inclined to follow it. As for breakfast it is similar to reading a newspaper so wouldn't necessarily find that the worst offence to be honest but if you are all eating breakfast together then perhaps he needs to put the phone away then too.

knackeredinyorkshire Fri 20-Jan-17 12:10:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eitak22 Fri 20-Jan-17 15:28:34

Ah in that case i would be asking if he could read the news on his lunch break/commute/after work rather than at the breakfast table especially if its the only meal you get together.

Could your kids ask him direct as to why he's allowed?

Ethylred Fri 20-Jan-17 15:35:20

Do you really think it's right for you to order your husband around, and in front of your children?

I mean, do you really.

knackeredinyorkshire Fri 20-Jan-17 16:09:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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