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To feel upset about my friend

(9 Posts)
NightTerrier Wed 18-Jan-17 12:57:26

I don't want to make this too long, but I have a friend of about 25 years or so. I moved away from the area and we've kept in touch and meet up still.

What has upset me is the fact that I seem to always be the one who visits her. She always says that she can't afford the train fare and she does drive, but absolutely hate driving - which is true. She actually has a much higher income than I do and I can only assume that I'm just not a priority in her life.

I was due to visit her next month and I've had unexpected expenses. I don't drive because of a health issue and I've managed to pay for the train fair to her place on numerous occasions.

I'm quite hurt and upset about it to be honest, as I suggested that she could come and see me this time instead and she says she can't afford to, yet she constantly uploads videos of nights out on Facebook. So, she obviously can't be arsed. I'm thinking that the friendship is over to be honest and I'm upset about it.

AIBU?

Gizlotsmum Wed 18-Jan-17 13:09:47

Not being unreasonable. I would just not go to hers, let her make the effort to see you.

caz323 Wed 18-Jan-17 13:18:46

Sorry to hear that. Your friend is being very unreasonable - especially knowing your circumstances. I would feel upset too because friendship is a two-way thing. Sadly, since you have moved, it would seem that your friend has grown apart from you. I'm afraid it does happen. I wish you well.

LouiseBrooks Wed 18-Jan-17 13:34:54

YANBU, she is. If she can't make the effort to come to you sometimes, then you're right that the friendship is over. I appreciate that will make you sad but her actions are making you unhappy anyway. You deserve better.

I've been friends with someone like that who expected me to fit in with her ALL the time. In the end I stopped making the effort and consequently haven't seen or heard from her for three years. It no longer bothers me.

I'm sure you will find a better friend in due course.

NightTerrier Wed 18-Jan-17 13:43:10

Thanks. It's a shame because we always have a great time when we get together and she always makes me feel welcome. I'd just like it if she could come to me occasionally. It's obviously time to let go though.

Palace2 Wed 18-Jan-17 13:49:10

I have a friend like this who lives in the next street. I've stopped being the one who does all the arrangements to meet up. Don't know when we became xbf's but maybe it was just time...

JustSpeakSense Wed 18-Jan-17 13:52:52

YANBU Considering you have been the one to visit on several occasions it is now her turn to reciprocate, I'd tell her that and leave the ball in her court.

Invest your time and energy in friends that deserve it, I don't think this one does.

NightTerrier Wed 18-Jan-17 16:12:58

Thanks. I'm gutted and it's not as though I have a large social circle, but nevermind!

sonjadog Wed 18-Jan-17 16:43:18

It sounds like you regard this friendship in very different ways. I´m sure she thinks of you as a friend, but maybe not a very close one and just one of many friends.

I suggest you focus on meeting people in your own area. When you get new friends, then you won´t be so invested in this person, and you might find you can continue the friendship on a more equal footing.

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