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AIBU?

to want to call dd by her mn?

25 replies

violetpancakes · 22/02/2007 14:08

I've seen a similar post to this but thought I'd start my own. DD (now 8 months old) was born prematurely and I kind of rushed her naming process. Although I really like her first name, which is quite unusual but rather short and nicknamey, I'm in love with her mn, see chatname, no, not pancake , and want to call her this as often as possible. The silly thing is, when she was born, I immediately thought of her as her mn, but then chickened out. The name just sounded too harsh under the circumstances. I think dd really suits this flower name now as she's gorgeous and dark, although as a prem babe it was difficult to see how she'd carry it off! dh and close family still like her first name more and would never call her by her mn. Will it do her irreparable psychological damage for her to be called both names on a regular basis? In particular to always be addressed by her mn by me? Or if I introduce her as this name at playgroups etc. IMO babies are fairly flexible and by being called both names she will be better equipped to choose herself which name she prefers when she is older. If she's always known by her first name, in all probability she'll never use her mn, as I never did mine, which would be a real waste....

Feedback please,it's really bugging me, re-registering her name is not an option as dh would never agree & I do like her first name.

OP posts:

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littlelapin · 22/02/2007 14:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clary · 22/02/2007 14:10

errrm

Do you mean the flower name is her middle name or your Mumsnet name?

Assuming the former, I know quite a few people who are generally known by their middle name. I think it would be better if eeryone was on board tho.

Fenella1 · 22/02/2007 14:11

Are you going to let us know her first name?

I think it would be silly if you call her one name and your dh/family call her by another name. The poor soul will be all confused. What about double-barrelling the first and middle name?

Hulababy · 22/02/2007 14:12

I think you and DH have to agree on the same name to use TBH. It would be just too confusing otherwise I would have thought.

violetpancakes · 22/02/2007 14:12

Her middle name is`Violet.

OP posts:

violetpancakes · 22/02/2007 14:15

Don't want to tell you her first name as it might be too much of a give-away, but it's a four-letter name.

OP posts:

violetpancakes · 22/02/2007 14:17

Double-barrelling is just not my style...I've tried it but feels odd to me....

OP posts:

WeaselMum · 22/02/2007 14:24

This reminds me of my sister - she was never given an official middle name and got upset about it when she was little. She really wanted a middle name so to console her my mum started calling her Lily and saying it was her middle name. Mum still calls her Lily now but is the only one who does - hasn't done my sister any harm as far as I know!

Rhubarb · 22/02/2007 14:26

Actually I too thought, 'she wants to call the kid dd?'

Muminfife · 22/02/2007 15:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

CountessDaveula · 22/02/2007 15:20

dh is called by his middle name
It has never caused him any probs really

MamaG · 22/02/2007 15:21

my neighbour's DD gets called her first name, middle name and an abbreviation of her first name and never bats an eyelid

tortoiseSHELL · 22/02/2007 15:21

I'm called by my middle name, and always have been - it's the way my family wanted to do it, and it has caused me NO END of problems, it has taken 7 years to get the bank to accept cheques made out to my 'middle name, surname', which I have a lot of because of my work.

But Violet is a very beautiful name. Could you change it on the birth certificate, and swap them over?

StrawberrySnowflakes · 22/02/2007 15:23

i think it would be confusing for a child to be called two diff names,however my 3yr old reg changes her name dependant upon who she'is'/likes at the moment ie: daphne(scoobydoo), Sharpay(high school muscial) and so on! but once shes older, she may accept the middle name..maybe when shes older she will chose to call herself that one too?

ScottishThistle · 22/02/2007 15:24

I can't see it being a problem as long as your consistent, we all get used to people calling us different names...My present charge gets about 5 different nick names!

Though you may have to fight with your Husband over which name you decide to use for nursery/school etc though that's a couple of years away!

belgo · 22/02/2007 15:25

If your dh agrees, I don't see a problem with calling her her middle name, as long as you make that decision and stick with it.

My grandmother grow up being called 'Lily', and it was only when she applied for her birth certificate that she discovered her first name was 'Mary', apparently her dad who registered her name when she was born got the two names mixed up as he'd had a bit too much to drink...

Stressedout10 · 23/07/2017 13:55

In scotland the old traditional is not to use your 1st name (given name) but by your 2nd name (known name) my dps whole family do this and so do my dcs never caused any problems

Flowersandfootballs · 23/07/2017 13:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dawndonnaagain · 23/07/2017 14:02

Flowers, Violet's nearly eleven now, wonder how she's coping?

otterlieriver · 23/07/2017 14:04

Causes no end of fricking hassle

I sincerely hope Violet hasn't been having to correct her teachers all the way through primary school like I had to

Decaffstilltastesweird · 23/07/2017 14:04

No problem to call her by her MN. But, I do think it would be strange to call her a different name to your DH, so I think you need to come to an agreement.

I had a massive wobble about my dd's name when she was approaching a year old. I wanted to change it to a longer version of her name, (both are names in their own right though; think Rose and Rosemary or Lily and Lillian), but DH disagreed, so we kept it as the shorter version.

Changing the name before they're 1 yo is meant to be quite easy I think. So there's always that option?

Fwiw, I now love dd's name and wouldn't change it. In my case, it was just a wobble.

Decaffstilltastesweird · 23/07/2017 14:11

Also, if you and your DH come to an agreement then you will find it a lot easier asking other people to call her by the preferred name. If he continues to call her a completely different name then I know I would find it confusing if I was a friend of both of yours. I'd have to ask which I was supposed to call her iyswim.

I've had this situation though to do with nicknames. A couple I know had a baby, called him one name on the bc but introduced him as a nickname. So we all called him the nickname. Now he's one. They've gone off the nickname and call him by the full bc name. It's a little bit confusing.

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Whosthemummynow · 23/07/2017 14:13

ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE

Bearing in mind the child in question is now 10, I think the OP would have sorted it

Decaffstilltastesweird · 23/07/2017 14:15

Oh ffs! Hate ZOMBIE THREADS.

IloveBanff · 23/07/2017 14:19

Stressedout10 Why did you decide to find and resurrect such an old thread? What was the point?

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