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to make DD2 continue with this activity?

(14 Posts)
RainbowSparkles Sun 08-Jan-17 11:04:32

I think I probably am being unreasonable but would like her to continue.
DD2(7) has been doing an activity for a couple of years and is good at it, DD1(9) started doing it in September and is also good at it.
DD2 friends have recently given up the activity and DD2 wants to give it up because she says it hurts her legs but I think she wants to give it up as her friends have.
I have said that she needs to carry on for another term and then we will make a decision my reasons for this are:
1, she is good at it.
2, I think she will still enjoy it despite her friends no longer being there.
3, DD1 isn't very confident and says if DD2 gives it up, she isn't sure if she wants to continue.
4, I work with the activity leader and feel it might be awkward if she gives it up.
I think 3 and 4 are my unreasonable reasons but I think DD2 might change her mind if I make her continue as she will remember how much she enjoys it.

Ilovecaindingle Sun 08-Jan-17 11:10:17

Ask her to draw up a pros /cons list herself.
It is fair she helps make this decision herself imo.
Or you will be back in the same dilemma after another term!!

DailyFail1 Sun 08-Jan-17 11:10:50

If you want her to continue then by all means do it. She'll eventually make new friends.

Yoarchie Sun 08-Jan-17 11:12:41

It hurts her legs? Can you say what it is?

harderandharder2breathe Sun 08-Jan-17 11:15:40

You're right, 3 and 4 are unreasonable and I think 1 is as well.

Being good at something shouldn't mean you can never give it up even if you hate it.

Number 2 is valid though, as long as she does enjoy it when she's there

Soubriquet Sun 08-Jan-17 11:16:22

I would make her do it for a few more weeks now her friends have left but if she keeps saying she doesn't want to, then I would let her stop

Hurting legs..I'm guessing gymnastics

BikeRunSki Sun 08-Jan-17 11:17:19

As child welfare officer for my DC's cycling club, I'd encourage you to investigate the hurting legs issue. I see your reasoning that she's looking for an excuse to give up since her friends have, but her legs might genuinely hurt.

dollydaydream114 Sun 08-Jan-17 12:00:17

I wouldn't make a kid do an activity in their spare time that they actively disliked, whether they were good at it or not. I wouldn't want to spend my evening doing something I wasn't keen on with people who weren't my friends.

RedHelenB Sun 08-Jan-17 12:06:16

DD1 needs to do activities without relying on her sister to be doing them as well. As others have said, let dd2 have a few more weeks (end of payment period/competition whatever) and then review it. If it is dancing, gymnastics, running, swimming legs will hurt

MajesticWhine Sun 08-Jan-17 12:12:43

I think YAB a bit U but it seems sensible to discuss it after a few weeks, assume you have paid for this term already though, so finish the term and then stop if she still wants to.

RainbowSparkles Sun 08-Jan-17 12:35:07

She does appear to enjoy doing the activity, it is dancing and she hasn't complained about her legs before except after a fall during one session over a year ago (which we had checked out and was bruising).
DH has had another chat with her, she still says her legs hurt but let slip that her friend has quit because her legs hurt.
He has suggested that she continues for this term (which only until feb half term) and then we will talk again.
She is having a think, I have to pay this week at the 1st session.
I have convinced DD1 to continue without DD2 so I am pleased about that.
I am very torn, I don't want her to do something that she doesn't want to do but I can't help but feel that she is quitting for the wrong reasons.
And you are right not letting her quit because she is good, is completely unreasonable.

Tinuviel Sun 08-Jan-17 13:25:48

When my DCs said they wanted to stop doing something, my policy was always to listen to them, acknowledge them/their reasons, and then say that they needed to carry on till the end of term when we would discuss it again and that at that point they could stop if they still wanted to.

The only thing that stopped was DS1 with football and I don't think we made him carry on that long as we paid weekly and he said every week that he didn't like it for about 3 or 4 weeks. I did make him carry on with dancing when he was about 5, as I'd just bought new kit and by Christmas he'd forgotten he wanted to give up when we discussed it. He danced until he was 18 and always enjoyed it! He has never shown any further interest in football, so I guess I called it right.

BarbarianMum Sun 08-Jan-17 13:35:50

None of mine are allowed to give up anything without half a terms notice. YABU to make her keep going for her sister's sake though.

DailyFail1 Sun 08-Jan-17 13:40:01

Just read it's dancing. Can you suggest another type of dancing? My dd didn't like modern dance so moved her to ballet and she loves it.

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