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In hoping she finds someone else to help

(18 Posts)
sammyjayneex Wed 28-Dec-16 16:12:14

So I have 5 children... one is a baby aged 7 months. A friend ( DH known for years) has asked us if her two girls (aged 12 and 13) can stay at mine on the weekend from Saturday till Sunday afternoon whilst she's at work on calm I think. My DH agreed yesterday that they could but my DH will be on a night shift that night so it will be me and 7 kids alone in a small there bedroomed house. I know they are teenagers and they will just do their own thing but I don't want that added responsibility even for a night. She said she would have my two oldest kids one day as a favour back but I have 5 children aged 10, 9, 5 and 4 and a baby 7 months and I know my kids will play up. She said her girls will just go to sleep but my kids won't, if they know their dad is at work and their are two other kids at the house they will play up bad and I won't be able to shout at my kids because I have to respect other people kids so I'm thinking the night could b stressful. My DH just agreed without even thinking about how stressful my kids wil be. They don't go to sleep till late when he's at work so I know they will play up bad. Also we have a tiny 3 bed house as well.. Am I being unreasonable to be dreading the weekend

sammyjayneex Wed 28-Dec-16 16:12:58

Also me and my kids will be stuck in all Saturday and all Sunday took the afternoon now. There is no way I'm taking 7 kids out.

sammyjayneex Wed 28-Dec-16 16:13:38

On call * not on calm

Chartreuse45 Wed 28-Dec-16 17:06:44

I think you will get cabin fever inside on Saturday and Sunday (or most of both days). My solution/suggestion is that the girls rather than being treated as "guests" or responsible for themselves are treated as belonging to the family. When you go out the 13 year-old takes the 4 year old, the 12 year-old the 5 year-old and the 9 and 10 year-old pair up. You supervise obviously but mainly you look after the baby. Let it be a give and take situation where they are part of your weekend. Maybe you could all do an art and craft activity together. Not the whole time of course but a mother of 5 (or even 2 small ones!) cannot be expected to look after/entertain 2 teenagers. Hope this is not too Pollyanna/the Waltons!

limon Wed 28-Dec-16 17:08:44

I think your OH is a.cheeky git to have offered your services without heck g with you first.

debbs77 Wed 28-Dec-16 17:10:44

Are you sure she isn't just going out to celebrate new year?

Bluntness100 Wed 28-Dec-16 17:17:25

So he is away over night, she is away over night, and you get all seven kids. Seems weird to me he would agree without asking you first. I'd not be happy about that either. Are you sure they are just friends?

sammyjayneex Wed 28-Dec-16 17:18:05

Thanks everyone

My DH likes to please people and likes to play he hero so that's probably why he's offered but he's not even gonna be there !!

She's deffo not going out celebrating new year, she would never do anything like that and her profession (won't go into detail because I don't want anyone to identify me or her) requires her to be on call and work over night. Just realised it's new year as well lol.

I struggle with my own kids to be honest. I hate taking them or because I find it stressful. I prefer when we go out with DH in the car as he drives and it's less stressful for me.

sammyjayneex Wed 28-Dec-16 17:19:33

Bluntness yes they are deffo just friends lol there is no way they would be anything more and he takes pictures of his shift papers from work and sends them to me so I know way days he's working and what times incase I need him to book time off for something so he's deffo working but yes I'm not looking forward to having seven kids

RainbowJack Wed 28-Dec-16 17:24:11

I can't believe he set you up like that.

Tell him to call her back and cancel.

Bluntness100 Wed 28-Dec-16 17:27:05

Seven kids is a lot, can you try to work out some way to celebrate new year with them, albeit earlier in the evening? However to be fair, you must be fairly used to having five, so it's only two older ones more..,💐

mickeysminnie Wed 28-Dec-16 17:28:08

Why don't you just say to your dh that unless he is planning on taking the time off to mind them that it won't be happening!
Make him tell her that he got it wrong!
I would go ballistic if my dh offered to have some children for a sleepover without mentioning it to me especially if he wasn't even going to be there!

Empress13 Wed 28-Dec-16 17:30:33

I think asking your DH knowing it was NYE is a bloody cheek anyway !
Wouldn't dream of asking anyone other than really close friend or family to look after my kids on such an important night.

But I guess he can't go back on his word now so I would have a word with your kids beforehand. The 9 and 10'year old are old enough to understand that mummy will need some help. Get some games/crafts in, wear em out and then once in bed pour yourself a well earned glass of something alcoholic :-)

Ohdearducks Wed 28-Dec-16 17:43:29

Have you got her number? If so call her and apologise about the mix up but you can't have the children afterall and that your DH should have discussed it with you first so you could tell him it wouldn't be possible. You don't need to make up a reason just tell her you can't do it and sorry DH agreed to it when he shouldn't have. The longer you leave it the harder it will be for her to find someone else so tell her today.

PaulDacresConscience Wed 28-Dec-16 18:31:41

Yes I can see how your husband would like to play the hero, when it's not actually him that's doing the hard work. All of the glory without any of the shit.

Suggest you ask him how he thinks things should work out, seeing as it was his bright idea in the first place.

Keepingupwiththejonesys Wed 28-Dec-16 19:50:17

I'd tell your dh to ring her right away and tell her that, sorry, he didn't realise he was working that night so no, you can't have her children. You didn't agree to it, he did.

sammyjayneex Fri 30-Dec-16 23:13:53

He's rang her and told her I can't do it and she text saying no worries. So im relived as I don't think I would have managed

KnittedBlanketHoles Fri 30-Dec-16 23:19:46

Phew, I wouldn't have wanted to do it either. Has he apologised to you for offering you up as a babysitter?

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