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This is a vent .... I'm lonely

(22 Posts)
Mistykit Tue 27-Dec-16 18:55:16

4 days on my own, 3 phone calls to relatives. It's been miserable. Boyf was at his folks for Xmas and is back at his home now but spending the day & evening with friends. Not sure if he has even opened my gift nevermind if he likes it. He was barely in contact over the long weekend and he knew I was on my own. I know he was with his folks, but he chatted enough to other people to make plans for all day today. I'm probably being stupid as it's triggered a depression spiral so I'm not sure if I'm justified in feeling disappointed that he didn't want to see or speak to me today (or text/chat much at all .. he ignored 2 of my texts) or if it's the depression talking.

Lindor Tue 27-Dec-16 19:03:36

hi,

it's a tough time of year isn't it? Even if you're with people you can feel lonely. I always imagine everyone else is with their extended families having a great time. However the grass is always greener....

He may have no signal or have left his phone out of earshot ( I;m often guilty of this)

Back to normality soon, and the days are getting longer now x

bluebell34567 Tue 27-Dec-16 19:04:52

I don't think its depression.
I think his behaviour is causing depression, you are feeling frustrated and this turns to depression because you cant do anything about it.
but what you can do is analyse yr relationship and make a decision. sorry for that.
and if its not a good relationship and it ends then there is a possibility of a better one later. so, dont be sorry about it.

Mistykit Tue 27-Dec-16 19:12:00

He got the texts ok lindor. I'm just not a priority for him I guess.

Mistykit Tue 27-Dec-16 19:19:28

I think he's prepping me for not wanting to spend New Year's Eve with me. Shit... I have to do that on my own too. Cats count as company surely?!? ;)

MrsMozart Tue 27-Dec-16 19:21:41

I think, unless there's a backstory, that he's a selfish twat.

Get out there and find a better life for youself.

clippityclock Tue 27-Dec-16 19:21:53

I'm not sure why you are with him TBH! He sounds like a selfish, uncaring arsehole.

Get rid and go out on New Years Eve with some friends.

Stilllivinginazoo Tue 27-Dec-16 19:26:12

Cats are company better than unsympathetic men.I agree previous poster that his behaviours add your depression.
I'd take new year as a new start.put self first.if you've not got friends join support fir depression group n make some and stop relying on someone who isn't putting your feelings on his radar. Take it from one who knows
I've made excuses fir near 14 yr and has taken my dad dying just before Xmas n he still not put me n kids first to see what needs to chance,and ut won't be a man!!you're stronger than uiu think and will come out other side better fir it. Unmumsnetty hugs.x

Stilllivinginazoo Tue 27-Dec-16 19:27:04

Needs to change, not chance.stupid phone

Mistykit Tue 27-Dec-16 19:34:51

No back story I'm afraid. I thought things were going well. He was a bit funny with me last week, but he wasn't feeling well at all so I put it down to that. I did get the "oh shit I'm being dumped" feeling out of nowhere though last week.. totally out of the blue gut instinct. Crap.

Ugh.. so sad. The depression should go tomorrow when I'm back in work. I've had it a long time so understand how it works with me. I'll be fine taking it one day at a time. New Year's Eve will be a struggle but I can just get blind drunk for that one night.

ShowMePotatoSalad Tue 27-Dec-16 19:36:38

How long have you been together? Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who ignores you like this?

2017 soon...new start?

haveacupoftea Tue 27-Dec-16 19:37:15

If you havent got friends, thats OK, a lot of people dont. But I think you should make 2017 about getting some great new people in your life smile

Mistykit Tue 27-Dec-16 19:54:06

4 months. I know, I know.. it's not long. We connected (I thought), that's why I'm sad. I thought he was a nice guy. ... but now I think I'm being ghosted.

I have a couple of friends, but I know the depression will kick in again later this week so I don't want them to see it.

Thank you for listening to me x

Mistykit Tue 27-Dec-16 22:09:57

I got dumped sad

Wishforsnow Tue 27-Dec-16 22:13:31

Sorry to hear that. It's not easy but you will be starting next year free to meet someone who could make you feel happier

Minimammoth Tue 27-Dec-16 22:13:45

Are you ok Misty? It sounded as if it might go that way. But no great loss. Tough though, make new plans.

TheGirlWhoWasntThere Wed 28-Dec-16 00:06:51

I'm so sorry to hear this but it sounds like he wasn't the right guy for you. Better you find out now than 6 months down the road. As much as this hurts right now, you have probably dodged a (rather selfish) bullet as his lack of communication with you was really mean.

You should make New Year plans with your friends and go out and have a good time.

Petal02 Wed 28-Dec-16 08:27:24

Can you tell us what happened? I assume he's been in touch?

Safetysam Wed 28-Dec-16 08:35:37

Me too

Cannot wait for the Christmas to new year holidays to be over.

Next year im prioritising a holiday somewhere (anywhere I can afford) out of here.

Mistykit Wed 28-Dec-16 11:09:55

Sorry for the delay.

I feel much better today after a good sleep. Yes he got in touch and explained the lack of contact yesterday. Tbf I don't think he realised that it wouldn't have been nice for me over the weekend as I'm good at managing the depression... although it poked its head through yesterday. I'm also not particularly needy so he probably thought I was fine on my own.

Damn depression spirals.

Petal02 Wed 28-Dec-16 14:22:23

Sorry if I misunderstood - so did he say he wanted to end the relationship?

moreslackthanslick Wed 28-Dec-16 14:32:41

Sorry to hear you're so down Misty, this jerk breaking up with you is no great loss in the long run. Focus on you and your well being for now. Take care.

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