To say I'm not visiting relatives for Christmas next year?

[Irritatedmama]

my mum and brother always come to us for Christmas but this year said they couldn't due to work commitments. So we drove an hour to their house with our two very young children and all of their toys etc.
The house is small so we were all cramped in and getting in each other's way. I was constantly on the go as the place isn't child proof and doesn't have stair gates. We then had to drive an hour back home.

I'm shattered, haven't enjoyed today and have not actually been able to relax at all.

Would I be unreasonable to say we aren't going next year? They have no one else to spend the day with and would be put out. They usually come to us which I much prefer. We have room for them to stay over. We also have space enough that the kids can play and we can all relax without feeling crowded. Plus it means no travelling on the day for us and a chance to sit down every now and then.

I feel bad as I suspect they were glad of the opportunity to spend Christmas in their own house ( both home birds) and maybe saw this as a way of breaking the tradition of coming to ours. But it's just a pita for us with kids!

[IssyStark]

They have each other to spend they day with. They are adults.

Tearing across the country with kids in tow is not my idea of fun (and fortunately my parents agree) and we have never done it since having the kids. YANBU to say not again.

[Irritatedmama]

Yes you're right they are both grown adults. I think I need to stop feeling responsible for them.

[coconutpie]

YANBU. Put your DC first. The others are adults. They can either come to yours next year or spend it by themselves.

[pklme]

I've already warned DH that we may well do Christmas differently next year. This is a great time to assess what worked and what needs to change. I'd say, do Christmas at home and go up the for afternoon or on Boxing Day.