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To be sobbing in my bedroom?

(24 Posts)
crashdoll Sun 25-Dec-16 20:21:53

Extended family are clearly having a great time, judging by the laughing downstairs. Children are exhausted and in bed. I'm curled under the duvet, crying and feeling like shit.

I'm really ill and I just can't cope with not being in bed right now. I can't eat the lovely evening buffet and it's too tiring to smile and make small talk.

I feel pathetic for feeling this way and being so emotional. I wish I was physically health. This isn't a new thing, although I have been knocked down with an infection. The antibiotics are oblitering any strength I might have had. Tell me it's them right. I think ABs make me weepy and weird.

I feel guilty and ungrateful for being in bed. I also didn't get a fucking mince pie. angry

pipsqueak25 Sun 25-Dec-16 20:24:46

poor you, hope you feel better soon.flowers

sooperdooper Sun 25-Dec-16 20:25:16

Sorry you're not well, do you have a partner? Can they help with children/family?

Chamonix1 Sun 25-Dec-16 20:25:24

You're not alone OP.
There have been a few christmas' where this was me.
Just take care of yourself, there will be many more. Go steal a mince pie for safe keeping and have it when you feel up to it.
brewcakeflowers

yellowfrog Sun 25-Dec-16 20:25:26

Sounds like you are under the weather. Go get a mince pie and then go to bed until tomorrow - you are unwell, it's the best thing to do

crashdoll Sun 25-Dec-16 20:26:18

Thank you. DP is amazing and has dealt with the kids and mess and relatives. I'm incredibly grumpy and don't deserve him.

R2G Sun 25-Dec-16 20:28:20

You should maybe see the doctor about how you feel. You sound a little depressed and may benefit from an anti depressant? Possibly. Don't feel guilty and ungrateful for being in bed, get cosy, get a book and calm down xxx all is well and it sounds like the children had a wonderful day x

pipsqueak25 Sun 25-Dec-16 20:30:42

it's good that you have a supportive partner.

Poshsausage Sun 25-Dec-16 20:33:27

bladder infections can make you feel like this
Hope you feel better soon x

ememem84 Sun 25-Dec-16 20:34:00

No yanbu. As long as your dpis supportive do what you need to do. Be kind to yourself. Cry if you need to. Stay in bed if you need to. Eat nothing but mince pies if you need to.

I've battled through today with the beginnings of a cold. Knowing full well il feel full of it tomorrow not helpful

Take your time.

crashdoll Sun 25-Dec-16 20:35:28

You're all so kind. I am quite down at the moment. I have complex and multiple health issues and it's a bit overwhelming at the moment. I'm usually outgoing and sociable, so I hate this need to be lying in bed. I know it's good for my body to rest but my brain is finding it misery inducing.

To be honest, I'm sure part of it is because of all the hype of Christmas and all those fake expectations. The important thing is that the kids had a lovely day and they didn't know how ill I am feeling.

Imissmy0ldusername Sun 25-Dec-16 20:37:15

Some antibiotics have a depressive effect. Your Dr may be able to switch you onto a different one - I remember one batch that not only gave me the epic shits but also made me really teary. Try to take it easy on yourself lovely, these things strike at the worst of times, don't they?

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer Sun 25-Dec-16 20:38:44

I'm in bed too op.. Woke up at 5am with the sick bug that's going round sad just me and the dc at home.. Managed to do gifts, nap, out for the meal that had been booked and paid for.. Home again and by the end of doctor who both me and ds1 were being sick.. So no yanbu!!

OrlandaFuriosa Sun 25-Dec-16 20:45:07

As Imiss says, some ABs really have this effect. In fact, all of them do on me. It's them, not you.

Hope you feel better soon.

awayinamazda Sun 25-Dec-16 20:45:27

I think part of the misery is because u would like to be down there, if u felt better (it's easier if ur naturally antisocial ;-) ). Antibiotics certainly make me feel weird and quite out of it, but hopefully they're doing their job and you'll start feeling better soon.
If it's your house and people are staying for days, maybe the relatives could be encouraged to go home a bit sooner by ur DH, they should understand that if ur Ill, u could do with peace? Try to rest, and don't worry, as others have said, there will be more enjoyable xmases in the future, it doesn't have to be perfect flowers

abbsisspartacus Sun 25-Dec-16 20:49:06

i got no sleep last night i had just finished sorting gifts when my youngest woke up (nearly midnight) he didnt go back to sleep till 6pm tonight fortunately after i put the turkey in my dd (who is 16) watched her brothers while i napped on the sofa i feel dead right now im going to hide under my duvet in a minute

to make matters worse ive an awful cold less than a week after the last one ive been sneezing like a loon i look like rudolph and my head is swimming ive got graves disease so not allowed any medication except paracetamol and glycerine honey and lemon which makes me feel sick ive just had my anxiety meds doubled which is making me feel ill too

if anyone wants me i will be in my room

abbsisspartacus Sun 25-Dec-16 20:50:15

sorry meant to add flowers i hope you feel better soon

hotmail124 Sun 25-Dec-16 20:51:54

flowers

MadisonMontgomery Sun 25-Dec-16 20:53:03

You're ill, don't beat yourself up. I had a Christmas where I was so poorly, I was trying to be sociable at my aunts house and ended up sobbing like an idiot because I felt so ill & just wanted to be in bed.

Happyhippy45 Sun 25-Dec-16 20:55:15

It's a tough time of year to be ill. I've been ill for about a year but have been really down and emotional just because it's Christmas and I can join in/do as much as much as I want to. I've been taking vitamin d3 (the sunshine vitamin) and it's helping my mood a little.
Hope you feel better soon.

rumblingDMexploitingbstds Sun 25-Dec-16 21:10:14

It's hard. I have a chronic illness and it's been a bad few days, have done too much because I want to do all the things I love to do this time of year and want the people I love to have the fun I want them to have, despite that I was flared and needed to do very little. It's so, so hard to deal with feeling like hell yet again on a day when you really want to feel like you have a life and have some fun. And so hard to stop, and let it go until you physically can't go on any more. I'm so sorry you're feeling so rotten now, try and rest and I hope you're doing better by the morning. thanks

NothingIsOK Sun 25-Dec-16 22:26:21

Sympathy to you OP. I've been in v similar shoes of late.

Just finished another course of antibiotics that utterly wiped me out for days. I could barely answer a question or watch tv, never mind actually do anything useful. Dh having to do everything, including putting up with my unreasonable self. It was extraordinary how pathetically listless the antibiotics made me feel, and how lovely it is when the course finishes and you start to feel like a person again and not just a vessel of ill health.

It's not your fault. I found out recently that feelings of guilt and self reproach are very common in peopl with chronic or long term health problems. It was a revelation to find that it wasn't just me!

I totally hear you about missing out on stuff. Having to say no, can't do it, can't come out to play for months and months. I find it easier when I'm really not functioning than when I'm feeling a bit better but not wholly well. Most frustrating when getting better but no stamina, so I want to have fun with everyone else but have to go back to the sofa for a lie down, again. And then another set back, another infection, another whatever it is next. Aargh.

Hope you feel stronger soon. Solidarity to you!

crashdoll Sun 25-Dec-16 22:37:05

Thank you for the kind words and much sympathy to those who are in a similar position. I know it's silly but I'd hoped that for one day, I could be normal. But hey, normal is overrated.

I'm eating a mince pie in bed, on DP's side of course because I don't like crumbs. wink

Someone mentioned a bladder infection. That's exactly what I have. I'm prone to them and they last ages and can make me ill enough to be admitted to hospital so I'm on a strong dose and mid way through a 2 week course. I'm glad this is a common emotional reaction. I don't remember feeling this bad last time I had one but my health has been slowly deteriorating. I'm just less able to deal with normal, common infections.

Everyone has buggered off home now which is nice. I'm drugged up nicely and hopefully will be asleep soon. I've already said I'm not going to DP's family tomorrow. He is just too fucking nice and said it was fine and he wouldn't have expected me too but he'll bring me home some of his mum's lovely food. I don't deserve him, I really don't.

Thank you again, you kind nest of vipers. I'm not crying now, I'm feeling a lot calmer.

ChocolateStarBiscuits Sun 25-Dec-16 22:44:54

Sending you a very un MN hug. ABs can wipe you out worse than the illness in the first place.

I'm glad that you've got a wonderful DP and you absolutely deserve him to do everything he can to take the strain off you. Sleep well.

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