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AIBU?

Please help.....feeling very tearful

20 replies

Changednamesorry · 25/12/2016 01:29

Today I have cried all day. I'm 8 months pregnant. My partner came home from work to look after me.
My friend who is a midwife thinks I am having a perinatal depression episode but I have only spoken to her on the phone. I felt ok 3 days ago....I'm a teacher and had a rather stressful last 3 weeks of term.
I don't know what to think. I'm a bit of a perfectionist and I have one wonderful son already (did not have any PND or anything with him). I feel off......but I don't know of I'm tired or stressed .....or depressed I don't know if how I feel is a normal reaction to a rough few weeks or depression. But I feel shocking and want it to go away. Does anyone have experience of this? If so....what did you do? If you went to the doctor...what happened? Please help.

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LittleWingSoul · 25/12/2016 01:33

I feel your pain! I am feeling this way too recently... If It doesn't pass in a few days maybe think about talking to someone. Pregnancy is a crazy emotional time and winter is dark, teaching is also very stressful. If it doesn't pass after Christmas seek some help... This is what I've been telling myself too. Hth.

KeptOnRaining · 25/12/2016 01:34

Oh that sounds miserable - you poor thing 💐

What time is it where you are?

kitnkaboodle · 25/12/2016 01:36

I'm sure it's just a reaction to last few weeks + hormones + christmas emotions. Every pregnancy is different. Can yoy have a relaxing day tomorrow?? See a doctor when you can. They will be used to treating people with depression in all its forms. If it isn't depression, maybe you're just coming down with a bug.

Friendofsadgirl · 25/12/2016 01:38

Oh, I sympathise. I suspect you're exhausted with work, Christmas and pregnancy. DD was born in January. I cried on and off from November until she was born, but was instantly better once she arrived. Be kind to yourself and feel free to borrow my mantra -"This too will pass".

Haggisfish · 25/12/2016 01:38

Def see a gp.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 25/12/2016 01:39

Massive hug for you sweet heart((((((((((((((()))))).
Anti- Natal does very much exist. On reflection now I know I had it.
I didn't do anything about how I was feeling as I just put it down to a part of pregnancy, and. My dd is almost 18, and anti natal depression was virtually heard of. It was all focused on PND. And obviously the stress of your job, isn't going to help.
Take it easy. Mind you that's easier than done. I do appreciate like most things. That's easier said than done

ZeroDarkHurty · 25/12/2016 01:46

It could just be the combination of hormones and stress making you feel like this. Or could be antenatal depression. I had what I suspect was antenatal depression in one pregnancy and it was awful (and different in some ways to depression I had in the past). I couldn't stop crying and just felt constantly miserable. Trying cbt exercises helped (you may be able to find some online... I used a notebook to write down cognitive distortions and challenge negative thoughts), as did getting outside and also doing physical activity (especially swimming). Perhaps try those things until you can see a gp.

Changednamesorry · 25/12/2016 01:53

It's nearly 3am. Normally I am very very physically active and this is now not possible.....and I think that is a huge contributory factor to how down I feel. I am desperate to train but unable to. I am also normally very slim and struggling to cope with the weight gain that comes with being pregnant.

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Tartyflette · 25/12/2016 02:03

Are you on maternity leave now, Changedname ?
I do hope so, you must be exhausted since the last few weeks of term and it sounds like it's all catching up with you. The September term is the hardest, I'm told.
I hope you can get an appointment with your GP very soon, and that it is helpful.
I only had one short episode of depression, (post natal, in my case) and I can well remember the feelings of despair, hopelessness and, well, just blackness. Have a hug and a hand-hold and some

Bogeyface · 25/12/2016 02:04

I had a couple of days like this with DD1 in particular. I remember feeling so very down and a feeling thats really hard to describe but felt like longing for something. Like really bad homesickness even though I was at home.

Then I went into labour.

I had similar episodes with all of them (6 in all) but that one with DD1, my second child, I remember being the strongest. I was in tears almost the whole 2 days and I was unsettled and just felt horrible. The second day was the worst and then, as I say, I went into labour. Looking back I think I was actually in early labour as my waters broke and I was 5 cm. So it may be that.

Tartyflette · 25/12/2016 02:05

Can you go for a nice easy swim as soon as possible after Christmas? I find that just being in water gives me a sense of well-being and lightness, and gentle swimming is still exercise.

DartmoorDoughnut · 25/12/2016 02:07

(((Hugs))) can you have a nice long shower and then have a lovely long nap?

Changednamesorry · 25/12/2016 02:22

No...maternity leave starts last week of January...due first week of February. I feel a strong desire to work till the end as I feel I need to...also I made a commitment and I want to honour it.
I have an issue with rest.,...I. naturally very active so find watching films and "relaxing" makes me feel sluggish and unhappy...this has always been the case.....my father is the same.

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DoosyFartlek · 25/12/2016 02:32

I'm not pregnant but I'm the same. Need to train to feel balanced and less stressed. Can you walk outside in a park? You need to get your endorphins up somehow.

ImtheChristmasCarcass · 25/12/2016 03:04

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I understand the being active thing. Do you think it would help if you found something to keep you busy whilst you're 'relaxing'? I took up needlework and it seemed to help me by making me concentrate on stitches instead of the fact that I wasn't 'moving'.

HicDraconis · 25/12/2016 03:43

Why is it not possible for you to be physically active? You don't need to be sitting around watching movies if you don't want to, unless there are other issues with your pregnancy you've not mentioned. There are lots of ways to exercise at 35+ weeks which should be safe if you think moving more would improve your mood.

I suspect it's a combination of pregnancy hormones, tiredness, work stress, second babyness (fear of what you're about to inflict on your first and fear that you won't love #2 as much as #1, v common!) and lower than usual exercise levels (so lower levels of the feel-good hormones that exercise produces) which is making you feel so rubbish. Antenatal depression is definitely a possibility (& is a risk for post natal depression), it's worth chatting it through with your midwife/GP. Sadly lack of mood issues with your first pregnancy doesn't mean you can't or won't get them with the second.

Merry Christmas, hope you feel better soon.

SpottedScarf · 25/12/2016 04:09

I had this during my pregnancy. For as long as can remember, I knew that all I wanted was to be a mum. Then I found out I was pregnant and it was like I couldn't cope. I hated talking about pregnancy and didn't want to look at any baby bits or do any preparation.

Luckily, my dh was bloody amazing. He was incredibly understanding and took care of me and everything that needed doing.

Eventually, I came to accept the pregnancy but was still convinced something would go wrong. It wasn't until I had my baby girl that I began to relax. It was as if now she was here, the responsibility for her was shared and I could really enjoy our beautiful baby girl.

I promise it does pass. See your midwife asap to get the support you need. As pp's have said, there's no need for you not to be physically active if you're used to it, especially if it helps you emotionally.

Best of luck with everything, and I really hope you have a lovely Christmas

CheerfulYank · 25/12/2016 05:42

Oh antenatal depression DEFINITELY a thing, I was blindsided by it my third trimester with DC1. It was TERRIBLE. I would definitely see a GP :)

I was fine with my second and third but with DC3 I did have something called D-MER, where I felt minute of complete desolation every time he latched on to breastfeed. That was okay once I figured out what it was because I could say 'this isn't REAL, it will pass' and then it would. Hormones are funny old things! Plus it's a chaotic time of year, you're tired, etc. It will be all right :) See your GP when you can. Big hugs!

badhotfanny · 25/12/2016 07:28

I felt the same at Christmas, with both of mine. Also a teacher, so was exhausted. The only difference was that I was only 12 weeks each time. I really did struggle though. Poor you.

I agree that being outside and walking will probably be good for you. Both mentally and physically.

mylaptopismylapdog · 25/12/2016 08:14

i agree with the others it probably is ante natal depression, and in my experience depression usually arrives when I am knackered. Re your commitments if you are depressed you are therefore not well so would you expect a collegeague in this position to continue to work or would you be concerned that they may get make their condition worse,? My guess is that you would want them to take good care of themselves, your partner is obviously concerned. Having said that you are worrying before you need to hopefully you will feel a lot better when you go back to work, you sound overwhelmed at the moment.I have found that doing something small like knitting baking etc helps when I am like this but anything that distracts you in small bursts will help. I also find being outside helps even for a short time. Lots of hugs

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