To be offended by a present on my friends behalf

[pregnantat50]

My friend is in a relationship with a man that constantly goes on about her weight, she isnt fat really, just nicely covered, a size 12-14 dependng on the shop. He has already given her a Christmas present and she said thank you but I was seething on her behalf, he got her a calorie counting wine glass! Also in the box he sent her was a box of chocolates, when she thanked him, he made it clear the chocolates were for her daughter and not her.

She hides her dissappointment well, but I think hes being unkind. He did put thought into buying her a present but not a nice thought

[rumpelstiltskin43]

She could lose a few stone instantly if she got rid of him.

[VeryBitchyRestingFace]

I actually think sending a gift for her kid was rather nice.

Taken in isolation, the wine glass wouldn't offend me. But taken in the context of someone who constantly yaps on about her weight, it sounds pretty unpleasant.

[witsender]

Life is too short to put up with crap like that.

[TrustySnail]

Agree with VeryBitchy - the real issue is his constantly going on about her weight; the wine glass is just the icing on a rather unpleasant cake. It's not as though she's overweight to the extent that he might have a genuine concern about her health. If he can't accept her for who she is, I think she should get rid of him.

[Bogeyface]

"Thank you for your gifts, you clearly put a lot of thought into them. You will be happy to hear that I have decided to act on your comments and lose some weight, so have a nice life you spiteful unkind shallow bastard"

[pictish]

You're right. He's a tosspot.

[Benedikte2]

How mean and hurtful. With an attitude like that he won't change and your friend needs to get rid of him!

[Lemon12345]

I'm overweight and my partner tries to walk the line between telling me I'm beautiful as I am, and he loves me etc and supporting/encouraging me to lose weight after I spend a fortune on weight watchers and similar and moaning that I want to lose weight.
If he ever got me a calorie counting present or kept pointing out my weight I'd be extremely upset and let him know it. And my target size is a 14! I long to be that size!

[mylittlephoney]

What a wanker.get rid. Twats who care about that are arsholes. You can do better x

[QueenMortificado]

I am having absolute deja vu with this thread, I'm sure there was a near identical one a few months ago!

Obviously he is a wang of highest proportions, do you really need to ask?!

[pregnantat50]

no, its just she took it well, but she takes everything he does really well. Her daughter was ever so upset on her mums behalf, her reaction when she opened it was "What a B..stard" She is a lovely lady, funny, caring, attractive and he is in her daughters words (a screwed up scarecrow!)...I know that is equally mean but it does sort of describe him and it made me chuckle. The good news is that my friend isnt likely to get serious with this man, he has also made it clear they are just FWB.

[TathitiPete]

Yanbu! I'm pissed off on your friends behalf and I don't even know her.

[Bogeyface]

FWB?

WHere is the benefit for her?

And FWB dont have conversations like that, they just accept each other as they are and thats it.

If she would my friend I would be asking her when she is dumping him as he clearly doesnt like her very much. She deserves your honesty.

[Finola1step]

I'm pissed off with this dickhead too.

Life is too short for this kind of shit. Next time you see the dd, please tell her that she is absolutely spot on.

Tosser.

[Finola1step]

Have just seen your username. Are you really?

[whattodowiththepoo]

"but I was seething on her behalf"

Lucky her.

[pregnantat50]

They rarely see each other unless he wants sex, and she has noticed this and becoming less interested in seeing him, I dont need to say anything to her, she will come to the decision to dump him soon enough if he keeps on behaving like this. I was in a pretty awful relationship myself not long ago and I put up with him for ages, then something switched off inside, It feels like my friend is only being nice to him as its easier than telling him to fuck off

[pregnantat50]

No I am not pregnant :) I joined MN looking for advice when I seriously thought I was pregnant and a little scared...but it turned out to be a false alarm, but I kept the user name

[DierdrePewtey]

'nicely covered' - not heard that one before. I'll use it next time I feel like being passive aggressive

[Christmassnake]

Another twat,cor twats all out in force tonight,that's 3 I've just read about on mumsnet,one after another.tiz the season for twattery it seems

[UnexplainedOnHerCollar]

There is no way a calorie-counting wine glass is an acceptable present for anyone unless they specifically asked for it - it's nasty and would make anyone feel judged. The chocolates then saying "oh no they're not for you" make it worse and on top of him constantly making comments - ugh.

If it were me it would be over and his wine glass would become a comedy item in my home to remind me what not to put up with.

[UnexplainedOnHerCollar]

I've known the phrase nicely covered (or well covered) all my life (I'm from Yorkshire, maybe it's regional?) It was a genuine compliment and meant not skinny but not fat, just carrying a bit of weight in an attractive way.

[DierdrePewtey]

I'd be deeply insulted if someone called me 'nicely covered'

[YorkiesGlasses]

I actually think sending a gift for her kid was rather nice.

Sounds like it could just as easily have been a mindfuck...

[Bogeyface]

"Nicely covered" is a phrase that my sister and I use often about ourselves!

It not offensive at all, it just means not fat but not skinny either....just ...."nicely covered"!