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For parents of kids with special needs

(15 Posts)
ASDpositiveX2 Sat 24-Dec-16 12:16:27

I wanted to share this lively little surprise. Have name changed because it could be outing, and some other things I have posted are confidential.

My kids are amazing, but have their struggles and have had a very tough year including their needs not being accomedate within school (where the head teacher should know better). I have no problem with my kids being a bit different, but their anxiety and melt downs make life tough. While I don't much care what others think I dislike the stares and what feels like judgemental tuts as much as anyone. It feels sad my wonderful, sensitive full of life kids will grow up in a world that sometimes doesn't understand or accept them. I'm sure many of you understand that.

So anyways, we frequent a local coffee shop. It's kind of my kids safe place. While they are comfortable there they do have moments of panic. They are obsessive about sitting in particular chairs, particular numbers on those cards they give you if they cook something, and often get upset if their favourite sandwhich isn't in stock. We have had the odd full on head banging screaming melt down as well (at which point I of course remove them) and alot of loud happy excited noise and bouncing. (Adhd as well as asd).

Despite this they have allways made us feel welcome, and my kids feel this too. There are lots of people who just don't want the hassle of alittle bit different kids, or don't care to try and understand how hard life is for them. The lovely welcoming staff here are very different from this and are so kind they gave my kids a Christmas card. Which made their day. And nearly made me cry. So I just wanted to share with you that while we all know some people don't welcome kids with disabilities, some are more than happy to. Hope you can all find people like this. Merry Christmas.

morningtoncrescent62 Sat 24-Dec-16 12:21:53

Thanks for posting this reminder that little things can mean so much, OP. I hope you and your kids have a great Christmas.

vickibee Sat 24-Dec-16 12:26:57

What a lovely post, my son is ASD and I know what you mean about people viewing anxious behaviour as naughty. IME it is older people 60 plus who are less tolerant, comments like they wouldn't have got away with that in my day deserves a slap etc.. Thank goodness it is changing. Merry Xmas to you ASD positive

Amandahugandkisses Sat 24-Dec-16 12:28:39

That is really lovely. I'm so glad you have this safe space.

ChristmasCwtches Sat 24-Dec-16 12:36:06

My son has asd and severe learning difficulties, he took part in the church service last week along with the other children, he played the part in his own unique way and was totally accepted and supported. Watching your disabled child being accepted and encouraged to join in regardless of ability makes a huge difference!!!!
The staff in the cafe sound lovely!!!

marvelousdcomics Sat 24-Dec-16 13:06:23

That's lovely! Ds2 (11) has ASD & ADHD and struggles a lot. There's a teacher at his school who goes out of his way to make ds2 feel safe & happy. Sits with him at lunch/break, make sure he gets the right bus home, helps him when struggling etc. The teacher bought ds2 a present and card and is so lovely. There are some amazing people out there smile

notgivingin789 Sat 24-Dec-16 13:11:21

Thanks for the post Op and I too can relate to the stares. Though I've come to realise that no matter what I do there would be some one that judges me. When I'm out with DS, people stare at me because It's very obvious that I'm a very young mum. DS also has a very noticeable birthmark and one woman exclaimed to me on the bus that "what did you do to your DS neck !" hmm.

Whether DS has special needs or not or when he has a meltdown or not, there would be some people who would judge or stare at me for something else altogether.

DianaMitford Sat 24-Dec-16 19:18:41

That's such a lovely thing to read OP. Merry Christmas fsmile

MrsMozart Sat 24-Dec-16 19:39:19

A pity people need to celebrate kindness, but lovely to have the kindness nontheless.

AlwaysDancing1234 Sat 24-Dec-16 19:50:12

That's so lovely, it's nice to know there are good people out there. I took our 9 year old DS (he has ASD) to see a Xmas show today which was obviously for much younger children but he wasn't made to feel 'different' and we had the most wonderful time. Sometimes it's the little things.

hugoh Sat 24-Dec-16 19:51:31

That's lovely op.

BIgBagofJelly Sat 24-Dec-16 19:53:08

Sounds like a lovely Cafe run by lovely people!

LeadPipe Sat 24-Dec-16 19:53:10

fsmile Merry Christmas. A bit of peace and joy for the season. Lovely story.

BrightonBelleCat Sat 24-Dec-16 19:53:50

That's lovely. I'm very emotional today because my dc are with their father. Have a lovely Christmas. X

KateLennard Sat 24-Dec-16 21:19:11

Lovely!!! So nice to hear.

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