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AIBU?

AIBU.. Family Interference!

18 replies

FedUp24 · 17/12/2016 20:40

DP, DD and I are going to stay with FIL for 3 nights before Christmas. FIL and MIL are separated but live in the same city.

DD is 4 months and MIL has asked where DD will be sleeping. I've said in our bed with us. MIL is not happy about this, has messaged DP telling him she is buying a travel cot for DD to sleep in. She has also spoken to DP's GM who has also messaged us to ask where DD will be sleeping!

It is none of their bloody business! I'm so cross! Some people would say to just accept the cot and let them think DD will sleep there, but why should I? If they can interfere now with this then what's next? I'm DDs mother, DP is her father and what we decided goes

Maybe I could understand if we were staying will MIL but we're not and this has nothing to do with her!

OP posts:

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happychristmasbum · 17/12/2016 20:46

Dh needs to tell her you do not want a travel cot so she will have to return it. Only way to stop people like this unfortunately.

FedUp24 · 17/12/2016 20:56

Tbf DP has told her twice now, whether she listens or not is another thing!

I hate interference!

OP posts:

LIZS · 17/12/2016 20:58

Just because she buys it you don't have to use it! Dp can tell her she is wasting her money as you wouldn't need one yet.

WatchingFromTheWings · 17/12/2016 21:03

I just wouldn't use it. Drop it back to her still packaged up.

iwasbornaunicorn · 17/12/2016 21:07

Just wondering do you normally Co-sleep?

I do & have found a lot of the older generation don't understand it/ are shocked by it.

Found this www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/baby-friendly-resources/leaflets-and-posters/co-sleeping-and-sids/ is useful as you can then arm yourself with some facts.

Or may be she thought you don't have/can't afford a travel cot & was trying to help.

FedUp24 · 17/12/2016 21:23

Thank you! They are very much 'Baby in your bed is dangerous and should never be done'

OP posts:

Arfarfanarf · 17/12/2016 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iwasbornaunicorn · 17/12/2016 21:59

With the dangerous comments that's when you say well actually there's been some research done & as long as you don't do xyz then it's as safe is not safer than sleeping in a cot.
For example I always mention to people that I don't drink alcohol because I'm Co sleeping (I'd love a glass of wine but is it really worth it?)

As a side note I find it strange that when you look at the statistics it seems to show that Co sleeping is way safer (once you get rid of the dangerous Co sleeping deaths like parents on drugs/alcohol) so why don't they encourage it or say this?

Qwertie · 17/12/2016 22:13

I remember our parents struggling with this concept. Maybe they think you're being polite in saying you don't need a cot. Agree with pps; just don't use it.

glitterazi · 18/12/2016 13:05

I never co-slept, they have both had their own cots/beds from being small.
However, each to their own, and it's absolutely sod all to do with your in laws, or your parents as well for that matter.
Just keep telling them no. Interference like that drives me absolutely batty!

happychristmasbum · 18/12/2016 13:10

How annoying.Make sure they realise you won't be taking it home to clutter up your space - they can return it or have it cluttering up theirs.

QueenArseClangers · 18/12/2016 13:11

Tell them if they want to buy something for baby's sleeping tey can get you this:
m.johnlewis.com/babydan-wooden-bed-guard-rail-natural/p/231150875

We have one and it's bloody brilliant for co-sleeping as even though we have a huge bed there's no worry about rolling out

Palegreenstars · 18/12/2016 14:30

If you don't put your foot down and make it clear it's none of their business and they've crossed a line this will the first of many decisions they think they have some say in.

'Please don't buy us a travel cot we have no use for it. We'll let you know if we think of anything we need'

Camomila · 18/12/2016 16:01

We've just had the opposite with our in laws...they don't understand why we can't just sleep with the baby in bed with us

Because we don't fit! (Small double as opposed to our king size at home) and he can crawl right off now!

DailyFail1 · 18/12/2016 16:09

My mum would have the same reaction, as they were taught in those days that co-sleeping caused cot deaths. Even amongst my Indian family, babies were often kept on a separate mattresses besides their mum for similar reasons. I don't think she's being horrible for being concerned. Like other posts have said, direct her to some newer guidance.

Whatsername17 · 18/12/2016 17:15

Just tell her directly yourself. Don't rely on your dh.

PollytheDolly · 18/12/2016 17:29

Accept it with a smile then stick it on eBay. Shame to waste it

grannytomine · 18/12/2016 18:12

My eldest is 45 and I co-slept with mine as did my mother before me. People in all generations have their own theories and it isn't just one age all think one way. I had two children when they had to sleep on their backs and then two when you mustn't let them sleep on their backs. I think you use your own instinct and let the "experts" come up with the next big thing.

Just refuse to take the cot, your baby your rules.

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