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Who is BU?

(25 Posts)
Hadagutsful Fri 16-Dec-16 19:15:46

DH and I are due to attend a wedding tomorrow late afternoon, around 2 hours away from where we live. Our babysitters have unfortunately had to cancel last minute due to illness. We can't find anyone else. The groom is DH's old school friend, they've not been in proper contact for years (DH's parents are still in contact with the grooms parents, hence the invitation [I suspect]).

DH says that we will have to send my apologies but he can't get out of it and has to go to the wedding.

A tiny bit of context: DH has been working crazy amounts of overtime the last couple of months and I'm tired, stressed and fed up of trying to run the house, manage the children and "do Christmas".

AIBU to be a bit pissed off that I'm being left holding the babies (again) or is he BU not to consider the possibility that he doesn't go?

MarciaBlaine Fri 16-Dec-16 19:17:19

He should go. Bad manners otherwise. I would say the same if it was the other way round.

MusicalChairsOh Fri 16-Dec-16 19:18:47

Sorry but I think YABU.

DorotheaHomeAlone Fri 16-Dec-16 19:19:17

Sorry it's you. I know it sucks but he is the one really invited and should be there unless there's a good reason he can't make it. It's a one off so you'll have to suck it up and be as lazy as the kids will allow tomorrow.

harderandharder2breathe Fri 16-Dec-16 19:20:08

Yabu, it's his friend, there's no reason for you both to miss it. Unless you can get another babysitter?

5000candlesinthewind Fri 16-Dec-16 19:20:09

If it's an invitation to the actual wedding and not just an evening invite then he wbu to not go when he can.
It's just shit timing for you. Can you get out on your own any time soon? Or send dh off with the kids while you have an afternoon of not doing much?

PurpleDaisies Fri 16-Dec-16 19:20:13

It's a crappy situation but your dh should go to the wedding.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo Fri 16-Dec-16 19:20:45

YABU, though it's understandable you're not keen. They will have paid for the food etc. It's rude to both cancel when only one of you needs to stay at home. It's no fun for you, of course.

Is there absolutely no way you can find anyone else to babysit? There's a babysitting website sometimes mentioned on here.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 16-Dec-16 19:21:58

YABU. One of you should go. And as its DHs and DHs parents involved it should be him.

Hadagutsful Fri 16-Dec-16 19:22:08

Sigh. I suspected as such. I guess I'm just fed up because I feel that he's not even considered how I'm feeling in all of this (which is knackered and gutted at the prospect of another day with the kids [SAHM]).

Oh well.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Fri 16-Dec-16 19:22:49

Timing is bad but he should go.

PickAChew Fri 16-Dec-16 19:23:10

It's hard, but he really should go, but he needs to make sure you get some downtime, too, sometime, soon.

Maybe book yourself the legendary mumsnet spa day.

shadesofwinter Fri 16-Dec-16 19:24:26

I agree with everyone else, he should go.

Completely understand why you're fed up though and you have massive amounts of my sympathy.

arethereanyleftatall Fri 16-Dec-16 19:26:04

He should go (it would look seriously weird if you turned up and he didn't), but on Sunday it's your turn to have a day off.

clare2307 Fri 16-Dec-16 19:34:38

I totally get what you are saying & no doubt the thought of him skipping off to a lovely wedding child free is making it worse, but I do think that he probably should attend the wedding... But agree with previous poster who says he should have the kids all day Sunday so you can do whatever you want child free grin

Hadagutsful Fri 16-Dec-16 19:36:29

Hah at risk of outing myself, I'm hosting a family party for all of his extended family on Sunday, so it won't be then!! grin

LadyMonicaBaddingham Fri 16-Dec-16 19:40:38

why are YOU hosting a party for HIS family? Does he not have any responsibilities for the hosting at all?!

Sparlklesilverglitter Fri 16-Dec-16 19:43:04

I think in the circumstances your DH goes alone as it's his old school friend, he shouldn't miss that wedding.

It's just a shame the baby sitter cancelled but these things happen don't they

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 16-Dec-16 19:43:19

That was a crazy thing to organise for a day after attending a wedding OP. Weddings are exhausting, I'd just want to have a quiet Sunday!

EatTheCake Fri 16-Dec-16 19:44:46

Your DH goes alone as it's an old school friend. If it was your school friend you'd go and he'd stay home.

I understand you being peeved but you can't control the babysitter being ill

Pinkheart5915 Fri 16-Dec-16 19:46:09

What a bugger our babysitter cancelling so late but they didn't know they would be ill.
Yes your DH goes alone as it's his old school friend

Hadagutsful Fri 16-Dec-16 20:06:08

LadyMonica, not really. Is that bad?

Throughthickandthin, party was already booked when we had the wedding invitation. We had to hire a hall and they book up pretty quickly round Christmas. It's cool, got no problem doing the party, just saying Sunday won't be my "day off". I'm sure I'll get one though.

5000candlesinthewind Fri 16-Dec-16 20:10:42

We'll make sure you do! It'll do you the world of good to just be you for a bit. Not a mum, not a wife, not a friend...just you.

TathitiPete Fri 16-Dec-16 20:55:25

Agree with candles

RaspberryOverloadTheFirst Fri 16-Dec-16 21:22:22

Make sure you do get that day off.

And as for the party on Sunday, make sure your DH is pulling his weight. Don't let him swan around acting all host-like while actually doing very little real hosting.

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