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AIBU?

Was this rude of DD (to her teacher)? Undecided if she actually needs punishing...

25 replies

SpainSummers · 29/11/2016 23:34

Saw DD's teacher today, after school, who told me that she had to stay in at break to write lines (didn't know that was still a thing tbh) where she just had to say "sorry for being rude" until she had finished the whole page and then was able to go out for the last 5 mins, so she could use the toilet and have a snack.

Basically, her class are being taught recorder in music. I don't really think many end up learning how to properly play, after this topic they're encouraged to go to the recorder club and that's about it. DD fell in love with this recorder and spends bloody hours driving me mad learning to play and she finally got it and can play basic songs from a book now while being able to read the notes for it. This was over half term btw, they did a different topic when back after it and now have just started it again as they never finished it, they were all in lesson and DD was colouring on a bit of paper while teacher was speaking about the recorder and then the girl who sits next to her asked her why she didn't want to learn and she said that she can already play it. Teacher asked the girl what my DD just said to her so she said that she said that she can already play, so teacher said "well, you can show me at break time then can't you" and obviously she didn't get her to show her, it was obviously sarcastic and the way teacher explained it to me was obviously sarcastic and she then just got her to write the lines. I wouldn't have a massive issue if that was just left there but teacher has encouraged me to support the school and follow through with a punishment at home too. Is that really necessary? She's 9 btw.

This is quite long but didn't want to drop feed.

OP posts:
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TyneTeas · 29/11/2016 23:42

Doesn't sound great all round.

Was it the not paying attention (when colouring) and then chatting the teacher found rude?

Can understand your dd not feeling that she needed to, but in terms of a class can understand why the teacher found that less than ideal

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ElizaSchuyler · 29/11/2016 23:46

She reminds me of how I used to behave but fortunately I had an understanding teacher who used to let me play harmony lines above the BAG three blind mice mind numbness of the class. Perhaps the teache could challenge her more by giving her a treble instead?

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Mummymummymummyhi · 29/11/2016 23:49

Im confused, your daughter had to write lines because she said she already knows how to play recorder?

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Yamadori · 29/11/2016 23:52

Yes, I agree with TyneTeas, the teacher probably thought your dd should have been paying attention to the lesson rather than doodling.

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Pallisers · 29/11/2016 23:53

The teacher told you to punish her at home (in addition to the school punishment) for what seems a mild bit of inattention/talking in class??? Wow.

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burgundyandgoldleaves · 29/11/2016 23:53

If it was me, I'd tell my child not to colour in when the teacher is talking even if they already know something (assuming no SEN) and then leave it. No need for an additional punishment imo :)

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WorraLiberty · 29/11/2016 23:53

Lines are useless, as is forcing an apology.

The teacher should have explained that your DD doesn't get to pick and choose when to do what she's told and she wasn't told she could sit there colouring in.

There will be many times in her school life when she'll already know something she's being taught (as will other kids at times) but that doesn't mean they can take it upon themselves to do as they please and ignore the lesson.

However, if your DD doesn't realise this at her age, the teacher should definitely have sat and explained it during the time she (rightly) kept her in, rather than giving her lines.

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Ohdearducks · 29/11/2016 23:54

I think this is probably more to do with your DD not listening (colouring in) while the teacher was talking (which is rude) and not the fact she can already play recorder.

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WorraLiberty · 29/11/2016 23:55

Sorry meant to say, a punishment at home is a ridiculous idea and totally unnecessary.

I could understand if the teacher was asking for your support, but not to give another punishment for the same crime.

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Ohdearducks · 29/11/2016 23:56

But I wouldn't punish at home, that's a bit much. Just a talk about paying attention even when the subject is boring is sufficient.

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JenLindleyShitMom · 29/11/2016 23:57

So teacher discovers a bored child doodling because she is already more than capable of doing what she is supposed to be learning and instead of teacher challenging her with something harder she punishes her? Hmm I would not be supporting the school on this and I would be telling them why. I would also be wondering how the support other children who are ahead of their peers in other subjects of this is their reaction to your DD.

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bumsexatthebingo · 29/11/2016 23:59

Staying in for chatting/colouring when she's supposed to be listening to the teacher I can understand but I would have queried why the teacher wants you to punish her again at home. Is not listening in class a persistent issue maybe?

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Redglitter · 30/11/2016 00:00

She's already been punished for it. A second punishment would be unfair and un necessary. The punishment she's already had seems over the top as it is

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Patriciathestripper1 · 30/11/2016 00:02

Wtf? She wasn't being rude to the teacher she was answering a classmates question.
I would tell the teacher that you will talk to your DD about the incident but as she was already punished you do not see the need for further punishment.

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Buck3t · 30/11/2016 00:03

JenLinleyShitMom
Right on! [Fist pump]

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Cucumber5 · 30/11/2016 00:05

It wasn't sarcastic. The teacher is wrong (unless the punishment was about something else?) Go talk to her.

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WorraLiberty · 30/11/2016 00:07

Answering the classmate's question isn't why the teacher thinks she was rude.

She was rude to ignore the teacher/lesson and start doing her own thing.

Let's face it, if every kid did that because they thought they knew it all (whether they did or didn't), the school day would be mayhem.

If a child has excelled in a subject during the school holidays, then it's up to the parent to point this out to the school and ask if there's any extra provision for them.

You can't expect a teacher to take what they're being told at face value. How to they know what happened to every kid during the holiday?

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gleam · 30/11/2016 00:11

I would not support the school in this.
Where was the punishment for the other girl asking the question? (Needless imo, but op's child wasn't talking until then, so it could be argued that she was the class disrupter.)
Where's the encouragement for the extra learning op's dd has done in her own time?

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viques · 30/11/2016 00:12

Well of course she was being rude to the teacher. do you not understand how it works in classrooms? You listen, you do not distract by fiddling about and you do not carry on private conversations. It is called low level disruption, wastes everyone's time and energy and is frustrating for the teacher and the children who are trying to learn.

No the child does not deserve a punishment at home as well but I think the parent needs to remind their child how to behave in school.

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JenLindleyShitMom · 30/11/2016 00:14

You can't expect a teacher to take what they're being told at face value. How to they know what happened to every kid during the holiday?

Well it would have been very easy to prove wouldn't it?

"Oh lovely, you can give us all a little demonstration so everyone knows how it should sound"

Two birds, one stone. Gives the bored child something to do other than doodle, show the teacher her ability so they can decide what song to give her to challenge her.

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Buck3t · 30/11/2016 00:19

JenLindleyShitMom
Feeling like a stalker here, but right on!

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Spring2016 · 30/11/2016 00:30

She doodled, she was caught and did her punishment. Which was not even correct imo. I feel she should have written I will pay attention in class, as I do not see her as being rude. I would not punish her further.

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Yamadori · 30/11/2016 00:38

She was ignoring the teacher and doodling so yes, that was rudeness.

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Tezza1 · 30/11/2016 00:41

I think this is probably more to do with your DD not listening (colouring in) while the teacher was talking (which is rude) and not the fact she can already play recorder.
I must admit that as an adult (and ex-teacher) I've sat in numerous meetings and lectures doodling, playing boxes with myself, word games, etc to stop myself from screaming with boredom. One of my favourites used to be to see how long I could go without blinking.

I used to often have sympathy for students.

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Beeziekn33ze · 30/11/2016 00:46

I taught for, um, a long time in many different types of schools. I never even considered telling or asking a parent to punish a child after I'd already done so. She's only 9. Whyever couldn't teacher say 'Great, now put that paper away, stop chatting and show us what you can do!'? Has teacher thought of actually having a good atmosphere in class and encouraging pupils rather than slapping them down. FFS!

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