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to not want to give my husband a tiny piece of meat off my plate?

(136 Posts)
Arfarfanarf Sat 26-Nov-16 19:38:18

Scene:
We are in the living room. He eyes my plate.
Him "Is that meat? can i have a piece? "
Me "no"
Him "oh go on just a bit" - comes towards me with a grin on his face, eyes on my plate, hands making pincer movements
Me "will you sod off. You said you werent hungry. Your food is in the microwave. Just go get it"
Him "im not hungry, i just want that tiny bit" - more pincer movements

Me - "i HATE it when you do this. I do not want you picking off my plate. There is food in the bloody microwave"
Him - oh go on"
Me - "oh FINE. here. " - pick up a tiny piece and throw it at him
He wanders off chomping and i settle into a ten minute rant about how annoying it is when he does this.

Hypothetically, if he was to become mysteriously injured, would any of you happen to have been having coffee with me 20 miles away at the time? 😁

JustCallMeKate Sat 26-Nov-16 19:43:25

I never let anyone have food off of my plate. DH wouldn't dare to even ask. There's plenty to eat in the kitchen if anyone's hungry. I couldn't stand anyone making pincer movements either, he'd have been stabbed with my fork.

5OBalesofHay Sat 26-Nov-16 19:43:55

I was having coffee with you about that time I'm sure. I cannot abide people eating from my plate, nor do I eat from others. I'd stab him with your fork the rude fucker .

5OBalesofHay Sat 26-Nov-16 19:44:48

On the same page then Kate 😆

mumonashoestring Sat 26-Nov-16 19:45:39

Yep, fork in the knuckles here too. Probably accompanied by a feral snarl angry

SharkBastard Sat 26-Nov-16 19:46:25

I don't share food. DH has learnt this, but not without a few scars.

Champagneformyrealfriends Sat 26-Nov-16 19:47:20

You had a cappuccino, I had a latte. That's the story and we stick to it!

Boundaries Sat 26-Nov-16 19:47:41

Arf I was having not just coffee, but a full three course meal. All of which was eaten by the person who ordered that plate of food.

Then we went out dancing and stayed in a boutique hotel and had a spa day.

The whole hotel was full of MNetters.

Crankycunt Sat 26-Nov-16 19:49:05

smile

Cynara Sat 26-Nov-16 19:49:14

Oh God, yes. Stab with fork. DP tried this once in the early days of our relationship. I went nuclear and he's never done it since. I don't know what it is, but I just cannot stand anyone eating off my plate. It completely enrages me.

TheExecutionerQueenMortificado Sat 26-Nov-16 19:49:14

Play him the "Joey doesn't share food" episode of Friends!

TheExecutionerQueenMortificado Sat 26-Nov-16 19:49:30

X post with cranky!

RaspberryOverloadTheFirst Sat 26-Nov-16 19:50:53

I wouldn't like anyone nicking or even asking for food off my plate.

I'll join you for coffee grin

JustCallMeKate Sat 26-Nov-16 20:01:14

Definitely 50 grin

Missrubyring Sat 26-Nov-16 20:02:37

My DP once stole some GU pud (chocolate souffle) from my plate once whilst I was pregnant shock angry I didn't speak to him for 2 days, I only started speaking to him again once he had bought 2 more lots of GU and a bag of smartie cookies with the promise he wouldn't steal any!!! He hasn't done it since smile

SabineUndine Sat 26-Nov-16 20:05:05

Arf you've been staying with me all weekend, nowhere near your husband.

I fucking loathe people who pinch food of my plate, cross eat, insist on sharing from communal dishes and expect to have some of whatever dish I've ordered in a restaurant. If you want to eat it, get your bloody own.

Sorry. I don't mean to rant. I do

cheweduprope Sat 26-Nov-16 20:09:27

No, I am reasonable and I do not mind sharing food with my OH.

Squirter Sat 26-Nov-16 20:11:54

Surely sharing food is part of the pleasure of eating?

YeOldMa Sat 26-Nov-16 20:11:57

He could have had the meat but don't dare touch the chocolate!

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess Sat 26-Nov-16 20:12:46

I'm insanely territorial about what's on my plate. It gives me the rage if someone tries to pinch something (and those pincer movements......angry). I used to get equally annoyed when my ex would try to take a sip of my tea or coffee. MAKE. YOUR. OWN.

Also when you go for a meal with someone on a diet and they want to do the dessert sharing thing. No! NO! Maybe I'm just a greedy fucker but I loathe it!

Arfarfanarf Sat 26-Nov-16 20:13:28

Thank you grin

Not off my plate when the exact same food is sitting on his plate in the microwave 6 feet away, Squirter.

BratFarrarsPony Sat 26-Nov-16 20:13:51

You should have stabbed his hand with your fork.

cheweduprope Sat 26-Nov-16 20:13:57

It feels like a lot of you need to learn to relax a little, to be honest.

CoolCarrie Sat 26-Nov-16 20:14:25

God my mil is like this, has to taste everyone else's food, pita! But then she has no manners & is crass to say the least! Roll on fucking Xmas cos I am stuck with her for 3 fucking weeks!

expatinscotland Sat 26-Nov-16 20:15:24

I don't share food and so don't expect others to give me some of theirs.

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