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To feel a little patronised by this response from class rep re school event?

(226 Posts)
Usernamealreadyexists Tue 15-Nov-16 11:13:11

Patronising or not? If so, should I keep my gob shut as I'm feeling pretty annoyed by this? I work full-time and would rather be home with my ds.

Sent to all parents:
"Class X will be represented by parent A, B, C. I’d love to say we were chosen on merit, but the sad truth is that none of you other lot volunteered. So our current self-proclaimed goal is not to come last. We shall let you know how that worked out - or maybe we won't 😊."

Nanny0gg Tue 15-Nov-16 11:16:51

What's the problem?

user1477282676 Tue 15-Nov-16 11:17:51

YABU there's nothing wrong with it. It's meant to be a bit self depreciating.

gleam Tue 15-Nov-16 11:18:21

They're just trying to have a little fun with it, is my take.

LRDtheFeministDragon Tue 15-Nov-16 11:18:46

I think it's passive-aggressive, not patronizing.

AmberEars Tue 15-Nov-16 11:18:54

How is it patronising?

Usernamealreadyexists Tue 15-Nov-16 11:19:43

I guess I think it sounds a little disrespectful referring to parents as "you lot". There must be lots of reasons why they didn't volunteer and I'm not sure it's a big deal when they have a team. I'm having a shit day and so probably over-sensitive.

Bluntness100 Tue 15-Nov-16 11:20:25

I think they are just trying to be funny whilst making a point. I wouldn't be annoyed or upset about it though. I'd send one back and say sorry no one volunteered, hope it goes great, or something,

user1477282676 Tue 15-Nov-16 11:20:56

Your main mistake OP, is to give a shit. :D

Let them take it don't have time! I'm the same. I get this kind of thing all the time and completely let it wash over me.

JosephineMaynard Tue 15-Nov-16 11:23:47

I can see how that would annoy people.

There's a definite overtone of "only A, B and C care about school event".

Which will irritate parents who would have liked to volunteer but couldn't because of work or other commitments. Plus it comes across as a bit of a PA dig at parents who might have been able to make this school event, but didn't volunteer as they'd rather do other stuff.

EweAreHere Tue 15-Nov-16 11:24:22

Passive aggressive and backhandedly judgmental.

Not everyone can take personal days to do these things. Like teachers, for example, who teach in schools different than that to their children's schools, and can't do a lot of these things.

And there are loads of parent volunteers who go out of their way to make 'new' parent volunteers who aren't part of their group feel unwelcome and unwanted. Puts so many people off.

Parent who sent this needs to back off.

Usernamealreadyexists Tue 15-Nov-16 11:24:33

You are right. Other stuff is going on at school and I'm just feeling defensive around anything school-related.

longdiling Tue 15-Nov-16 11:24:34

Passive aggressive and a bit of a stupid approach really. All it'll do is piss people off and make them less likely to volunteer. If parents don't want to volunteer for stuff then this isn't the way to change the situation and encourage them to do so. And I say that as someone who's been on the pta with a grand total of 2 other people out of a school community of almost 200 so I understand the frustration of getting people involved.

Merrylegs Tue 15-Nov-16 11:32:12

It's v PA with a smattering of self-depreciation BUT just because you can't volunteer doesn't mean you can't thank them. Every team needs supporters as well as players.

As Bluntness suggests, send an email back -eg 'sorry I can't be there (work, boo) but really good luck. Do let us know how you get on. Go Class X!'

(Plus they are more likely to volunteer again if they know they are not screaming into the void)

DancingDinosaur Tue 15-Nov-16 11:36:41

Oh I they're trying to be funny. Its ok. Just say you'd love to be there but you're working. But you'll be thinking of them. Or something like that.

stopfuckingshoutingatme Tue 15-Nov-16 11:38:00

its slagging the parents that did NOT volunteer, not you doughnut!

Cisoff Tue 15-Nov-16 11:40:25

"I'd love to volunteer but I'll be working. Not all of can sponge off our husbands so we can swan around in activewear. Have a fabulous day!!!"

longdiling Tue 15-Nov-16 11:41:27

Erm, the op didn't volunteer. So it's slagging her too. I wouldn't bother replying to it. Let them scream into the void, they're being tits.

SapphireStrange Tue 15-Nov-16 11:41:40

I think it's very PA and judgemental. There might be all kinds of reasons why others didn't/couldn't volunteer.

longdiling Tue 15-Nov-16 11:42:19

Really really don't reply what cissoff said, many people volunteer for stuff despite working. You'll look worse than them!

Skittlesss Tue 15-Nov-16 11:43:35

Passive aggressive - maybe. However, do you really care what they think? Leave them to it :D

Cisoff Tue 15-Nov-16 11:43:39

But, but, was just a joke!!!

StealthPolarBear Tue 15-Nov-16 11:44:10

Cis off there's no indication about whether this is mothers or fathers.

Cisoff Tue 15-Nov-16 11:44:45

In the interests of full disclosure, I don't work. I occasionally wear activewear. Sometimes I even swan.

Cisoff Tue 15-Nov-16 11:45:08

Lets just say I took a wild guess.

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