To think that repeatedly calling me in to the job centre is a waste of time and money.

[TheUnworthy]

I am a carer.

My partner and dd are both severely disabled, enough to warrant the highest PIP/DLA awards.

Every two months (occasionally every month) I dread the phonecall.

The phonecall that tells me I yet again have to go see a complete stranger and repeat myself endlessly.

'No I still need to be at home'

'No they aren't any better, never going to be'

'No I haven't looked for work, see above'

'No I don't know when they will be better so I can start to work again. Our consultant called you a disgrace when I told him what I have to keep coming in here for.'

The same question but phrased in a multitude of different ways and the answer is very simple.

Until the government stop wasting money on these stupid fucking appointments and useless meetings and maybe looking at why I really can't work (cuts to social care) then the answer will be the same for the rest of my loved ones lives.

No. I'm not looking for a bloody job.

Or AIBU?

[Hercules12]

Yanbu. It's madness. You are where people's taxes should be going. Hopefully there'll be a change in law one day.

[TheUnworthy]

Hercules12 hopefully so because it is very demoralising.

It's hit and miss whether I get a stranger that just asks me the pointless questions (one man actually apologised and said his hands are tied but that he knew I shouldn't be being called in)

Or I get someone that very blatantly infers that they look down their nose at me. That I must be some scrounger who is delighted to never work again.

Oh yeah. Life's a picnic.

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

YNBU. FFS. You're a carer and severely disabled. You've got enough on your plate with out those cretins adding to it.
Are they thick. You don't just became undisabled.

[Highlandfling80]

Yanbu

[pugsake]

YANBU.

DD though gets middle rare care for another year lots of little things as she was 10 weeks premature. I just don't have the childcare and with her behaviour family can't cope with her (my mams just had cancer)

Every fucking month I get called in I have told them repeatedly when she starts school September I will start looking.

Wouldn't care but I get PIP myself. Serious mental health problems (think hospitalisation) I always get told every time they have lots of people working with my problems. They don't seem to get that it's DD I'm working around not myself.

I could go on ESA for an easier life but I do want the help to go back to work next year

[TheUnworthy]

Thank you.

It particularly stings because I would love to work again, to feel some sense of self worth and pride in what I do.

And that makes me feel deeply fucking ashamed, that I'm not proud of caring for my family.

Because it feels like I am constantly being told I'm not worth anything for doing it.

[TheUnworthy]

pugsake

It is stupid and unfair.

[pugsake]

Sorry that was a rant.

Unworthy if you claim income support and get carers legally they are only supposed to call you in once a year.

Might be worth getting in touch with citizens advice or welfare rights.

[ComputerDog]

YANBU although I'm surprised that you are still being called in as I have a disabled sibling and after the initial meeting she has not been called in again.

Are you somehow on the wrong "list"? Can you write to someone and see if you can get moved to the group of people who are not called in every two months?

[TheUnworthy]

pugsake whaaaat?!

Seriously?

Bastards!

[TheUnworthy]

Sorry if my op wasn't clear

I am not disabled, my partner and dd are severely disabled. They get PIP/DLA. I get carers allowance.

We don't have esa or job seekers, just income support.

[ScoobyDoosTinklyLaugh]

The attitude and atmosphere at different jobcenters is very different, is there another one of could try and move to?

I've dealt with terrible advisors before but the one I've been with for the past couple of years have been great and really do their best for to help people. Advisors defiantly have to power to see you less than they should - it's at there discretion but tbh it does sound like you should only being going in once a year or if there is ever some sort of change in circumstances.

[expatinscotland]

It's ridiculous. I have a mate who has COPD and was on ESA for this. Two months before she became eligible for state pension, they told her she was no longer eligible for ESA and put her on JSA. Yeah, someone's really going to hire a 63-year-old woman with COPD for 2 months. It was an exercise in stupid and a complete waste of time. She's now a pensioner.

[pugsake]

Yes my mam used to work for citizens advice. Welfare rights is really good if you have a local one.

I haven't been called in since September now after CAB rang them.

[pugsake]

Unworthy that must be terribly challenging for you. You must save the government so much by caring for both of them and you get treated like shite in return.

[TheUnworthy]

pugsake thank you!!!!

Will be doing that on Monday, that will be a huge weight off my shoulders.

Once a year...that will be heaven compared to one a month/two months!

[TheUnworthy]

They are worth every second of it.

Just a shame the government don't think so.

[pugsake]

I should stick my mam on here for a live web chat/advice session

I hate the benefit system. People slagging claimants off don't see the other side of it. What the job centre do on the sly to vulnerable claimants. It's just not ethical.

[ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess]

I think it depends on the age of the child. As DS is about to turn five, I've had to go every couple of months. They don't seem to understand that my son, who has autism, can only cope with a couple of hours school a day (we're working on gradually building it up) and that, as a single parent, I'd be hard pressed to find a job that fits in with this. I'm lucky in that my advisor is quite kindly (but still wants me to work in Asda for free) - but I can't help wondering why they paired me with a single guy who has no children and no experience of living with a child with SN.

Feel very much like you OP; I'd LOVE a job - more for the adult interaction and sense of doing something financially positive for the two of us, but right now it's impossible, and I'm fed up of feeling judged for spending my time looking after my vulnerable little boy.

[foursillybeans]

YANBU. Some of this wasted money could be spent on putting more staff in to the Fraud team who could investigate people who actual need investigating.

[Meadows76]

You are claiming income support because you don't work, I think it's reasonable for it to be looked at from time to time tbh. I understand the reasons you can't work amd clearly so do they, but I think in order to weed it the people that are on a pisstake can and should work, it's fair enough to check up on things regularly.

[ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess]

pugs I agree. I was on the benefits cap thread and the amount of vitriol spouted by smug individuals who assume they will never face divorce, illness, disability or redundancy was appalling. There are people who have committed suicide over their treatment in these places. And of course, the guy who had a near fatal heart attack two days before he was due to sign on, and had his benefits stopped because he was unable to make his appointment.... WTF?

[Meadows76]

YANBU. Some of this wasted money could be spent on putting more staff in to the Fraud team who could investigate people who actual need investigating.. I agree, however without doing basic regular checks with people how will they know who to investigate?

I firmly believe that any benefit claimants should be checked regularly in order to ensure they are claiming the correct benefits and award.

[EveOnline2016]

Op you could work, get a full time nurse and a specialist nanny for your DC. So you need a job that pays around a million or so a year.

I wish the Job centre would be realistic.

[SerendipityPhenomenon]

It could be worth getting back to social services to do a care reassessment with particular emphasis on your position as carer. Under the Care Act 2014 there is a lot of emphasis on the expectation that carers are entitled to have a life and there should be no automatic expectation that you will give up work.