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very upsetting situation re: grandads inheritance (long sorry) wwyd

(31 Posts)
LivinLaVidaLoki Fri 04-Nov-16 12:26:47

My grandad died in June (just before my mum).

Aunty is dealing with his estate (as I am dealing with my mums). Aunty became very nasty about some money that my grandad had gifted my mum a number of years ago. Basically she did everything for my grandad, my other aunts and uncles did nothing (well, Aunty did a little). My grandad knew there would be fighting about his his money when he died and so he said that he was splitting everything evenly between his children but gifted my mum an amount before then as a thank you (both myself and one of my brothers have been aware of this for a number of years.

Since mum died and aunty has been doing his estate she has been calling me and being very abusive claiming that money is to be paid back, using various reasoning, none of which make any sense, have ran it by our solicitor who advised her to give any proof of what she was claiming over for us to sort out if she is entitled to it. We have heard nothing.

She has since changed tacks and became abusive accusing my mum of stealing from my grandad as she used to take his money out and pay his bills for him when he became pretty much housebound. We begged my aunt to do this (we all live too far away) when my mum was diagnosed with cancer to help her out and she wouldn’t. She is now alleging that there is more money taken out than covered his bills (she also did his grocery shopping, paid his newspapers and he always had money in his wallet so that accounts for the discrepancy.

Since then I have gone NC with her, as to be honest I am finding all of this upsetting enough without her being so vile. She has been awful since my mum died tbh – making me help her arrange my grandads funeral the day after my mum died rather than ask her own children as they are too delicate (I felt very weak and didn’t feel I could say no, I even ended up having to a bloody eulogy) had a go at me at my mums funeral as I didn’t tell grandads brother when my mums funeral was so she had to (I had no idea how to get hold of him) the list goes on.

My mum got myself and my brother together shortly before she died and explained that any inheritance she is due from DGD (about 10k) is to be split between her grandchildren, as in her words “you kids are going to have enough from me now, I want them to have something”, I have two DBs who are disabled and they are due to get an inheritance from my DGD – a specific amount, I remember her and Aunty telling us when DGD made his will years ago that this was the case, as they used to go and sit with him and keep him company and put his bins out and little things like that. DGD became like a surrogate dad for them after dad died years ago.

Anyway, fast forward to now, and Aunty has liquidated my grandads assets (I cant say how I know this but I know this) and my other aunts/uncles have been spending their inheritance.

I have been keeping an eye on the probate search website for my grandads stuff to have been publicly available (as advised by our solicitor) but nothing has.

So, given how stressful I have found dealing with her in the past I was willing to just let this go, but to be perfectly honest, its now making me think that it’s a matter of principal, she has accused my mother of stealing, she has been awful, she has accused my mother of stealing and now she is essentially stealing from us. She is stealing from two disabled men and four children. I cant in good conscience let her get away with this.

I am going to try and call my solicitor about this this afternoon to say what can be done, but what would you do?

TeenAndTween Fri 04-Nov-16 12:56:35

I would speak to a solicitor.

ZoeTurtle Fri 04-Nov-16 12:58:42

I would speak to the solicitor and do all I could, legally, to stop her.

Note3 Fri 04-Nov-16 13:01:36

Sounds awful. Money via inheritance makes people show sides you never imagined (seen this in my own family recently).

I'm no expert but my observations would be that bequests must be paid before residual beneficiaries (if people have been left a specific sum then they must be paid before the beneficiaries who are to have the remainder of the estate shared between them).

If your aunt and uncles are residual beneficiaries and have their inheritance then it definitely sounds dodgy as your DBs have not received theirs yet and nor have you as residual beneficiaries (if your DGD did not exclude bloodline inheritance. Sorry don't know exact name but unless specified otherwise then inheritance goes down bloodline ie your mum's share to you and your brothers).

Beneficiaries are fully entitled to a full account of an executors handling of estate finances (totals, expenses and such like). If I were you I would request via a solicitor that your aunt provides this and that she provides a clear time line on when you and your siblings can expect to receive your inheritance.

Note3 Fri 04-Nov-16 13:03:35

Just to add the executors providing an account happens once estate wound up so solicitor would request this be provided when they conclude the division of estate.

RatherBeRiding Fri 04-Nov-16 13:04:09

I would make it legal in a heart-beat and take all of this to a solicitor. It is a fact that if your mum was entitled to receive something from your grandad's estate but sadly died herself before his estate was settled, then in turn her estate is entitled to receive that inheritance.

If your aunt has, as executor, deliberately ignored the terms of the will and not settled the estate as per your grandad's instructions then she is breaking the law and I would put the matter into the hands of a solicitor immediately.

LIZS Fri 04-Nov-16 13:10:02

Who is the executor for your dm's estate? Presumably her share would go through that first except if your siblings were specifically named in dgd will. Have you checked if either of them have received theirs direct? Ask your solicitor if they can now access a copy of the will if probate has been granted.

Inertia Fri 04-Nov-16 13:10:42

Go through the solicitor. She could well be breaking the law.

mysistersimone Fri 04-Nov-16 13:11:25

Straight to a solicitor and grip the bit between your teeth and don't let go. I'm so sorry you're having to go through mourning your mum and grandad and have this nightmare over you but the Aunt shouldn't be allowed to do this illegally and morally repulsive. Best of luck flowers

user1471502932 Fri 04-Nov-16 13:19:59

I had a similar experience with family members. They stole the inheritance; all of it. Their greed was eye watering, to grab money from someone they didn't know and I didn't want to be a part of it, even though people advised me to fight it to the end.

I walked away and didn't get a single penny.

What I have is infinitely more valuable; a clear conscience, peace and the precious memories of my Dear parent when they were living.

aginghippy Fri 04-Nov-16 13:27:31

I would do the same, put it in the hands of the solicitor. If your dgd's will does split everything evenly between the children, then your mum's estate would inherit.

Sorry for your losses Loki flowers

BoffinMum Fri 04-Nov-16 13:28:58

Leave it to a good lawyer to sort out. They have seen it all, and they will be able to liaise with the lawyers from the other side to make sure everything is done properly.

2kids2dogsnosense Fri 04-Nov-16 13:32:21

Did your Mam pre-decease your DGD?

If so, unless he updated his will, or had made specific bequests, I think that sadly your M's share will revert to your poisonous aunt and other beneficiaries mentioned in the will. (She sounds a piece of work)

LivinLaVidaLoki Fri 04-Nov-16 13:34:26

My mum died just a week after my DGD 2kids

Have called the solicitor and he is currently with a client so his secretary said she would get him to call me back when he is free.

SuperFlyHigh Fri 04-Nov-16 13:35:22

you need to see a solicitor ASAP and I would ring one today. you may but probably next week now get an appointment.

CotswoldStrife Fri 04-Nov-16 13:52:26

I think you have posted about this before, and it was mentioned that there is often a condition in the will that the beneficiaries have to survive the deceased by a set period. I hope the solicitor can help you.

Theoretician Fri 04-Nov-16 14:03:31

My will, obtained off the internet, has standard wording that says that anyone who dies up to 30 days after me is to be treated as if they died before me. So I agree it's possible that the DM estate may not inherit.

Isitjustmeorisiteveryoneelse Fri 04-Nov-16 14:10:46

Is she the executor? Have you seen the will, was it very specific and clear? If so she's breached her fiduciary duty I presume and you can her removed, any actions she's made already overturned, and hold her responsible for any financial issues arising from her actions. All will have to be done through your solicitor obvs. Best of luck.

gillybeanz Fri 04-Nov-16 14:46:30

I'm so sorry you are going through this when you have your own grief.
Please don't let her put upon you anymore.
Just go NC, if she continues, get a solicitor to send her a letter, this should stop her.
Do not help with anything else, let her dc do the helping. Please stop telling yourself you have to do xyz, you don't unless the law calls for it.
Your Aunt or anyone else will only walk over you if you let them, and she has chosen whilst you are at your most vulnerable.

SirVixofVixHall Fri 04-Nov-16 15:01:41

I haven't heard of the 30 day thing before, so I don't know if it is usual. DH and I are sorting out our wills at the moment, we were with a solicitor a few days ago. He said that if we died together, the the elder of us would be assumed to have died first, so that would mean that all my estate would pass to DH, and then on to whoever he mentioned in his will. No mention of a 30 day rule, so you do need to get legal advice now. I'm sorry your aunt is being so horrible. i lost my mother a few months ago, so I know how tough it is, and it must be a nightmare dealing with this on top of your grief at losing your mother and Grandfather. flowers to you.

2kids2dogsnosense Fri 04-Nov-16 16:03:02


I'm so sorry - what a horrible time you have had, and now compounded by this awful woman trying to rob you (that is not too strong a term).

You are doing well to get legal advice. It will not be cheap, but it means that you will not be defrauded (and more instantly, that your grandfather's wishes will be carried out)..

I've never heard of the 30 day rule (that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist). I wold have thought that would only be put in in certain circumstances e.g. if (say) I wanted to leave money to my daughter, but couldn't stand her husband and didn't want him to benefit, I might put that into my will so that if we died at the same time, or within a short time-frame, then my SIL couldn't claim that my will enriched her estate to his benefit - that anything I left would revert to other named persons in the will.

Protect yourself and your children's inheritance - that's what your grandfather wanted.

2kids2dogsnosense Fri 04-Nov-16 16:03:22

*importantly - not instantly

2kids2dogsnosense Fri 04-Nov-16 16:04:22

I suspect that if the will had that 30 day disclaimer in it, then she would have gleefully told you about it.

skilledintheartofnothing Fri 04-Nov-16 16:18:43

Speak to a solicitor. To be honest the way your Aunt has been it would make me even more determined to stand up to her.

CotswoldStrife Fri 04-Nov-16 16:20:01

If it is the same poster as before I think the executor did say that she wasn't going to inherit and then had the cheek to ask for the money as well!

Did you manage to get a copy of the will OP, or is that why you are keeping an eye on the probate site? Hope your solicitor can help. It's a very difficult situation.

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