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To be so passive aggressive?

(6 Posts)
Rollonbedtime7pm Thu 03-Nov-16 21:54:43

Short history - group of friends, met having 1st babies. All had 2nd ones around the same time. Had a great time bringing up the kids together and became good friends along the way. 2nd kids although only 12 weeks between them all, straddle 2 school years so my DD has been left behind this year whilst the others went to school.

I have always really been the one to organise meet ups - everyone seems keen but never really initiates. We have fun when we see each other and pick up where we left off.

Since the kids went to school, it's like they have forgotten we exist! I have messaged and people take weeks to reply or just never do. It is more difficult to meet for them now (I am on maternity leave - only one who went for #3 so I am around) but no contact from anyone, not even just a "hello" text now and then. When we do finally chat, I just keep getting jokes about how I will be ditching them for my 'new' baby mates now - bloody need new mates don't I if they keep ignoring me!! confused

We have an evening out booked in later this month and I am so tempted to just wait to see if anyone else does the "so, where shall we eat" contact instead of me as per usual. I am 99% sure this will mean we won't end up going out but I am actually willing for that to happen just so I can prove a point!!

I should just get over it shouldn't I?! grin

StealthPolarBear Thu 03-Nov-16 21:56:08

It sounds like they're not bothered

Mistletoekids Thu 03-Nov-16 21:58:46

It's a bit strange and Id be annoyed too for my DD if I were you as sounds like she's missing out too-
Are they all at the same school?
Think better to arrange the meet up and talk about it though, otherwise with passive aggressive tactics only one who looses is you!😢good luck!

MammaTJ Thu 03-Nov-16 21:59:21

Well, not necessarily, but these mums sound like they now have DC in full time school and you have one waiting and a newer baby, so are in a different place.

My DD2 was born early, so was the one who started school before all the others in our pre natal class, but I vaguely keep in touch with them, while making and maintaining firmer friendships with parents of children in her year. I also have other friends, separate to the DC, but with children of nearish ages, who I rely on more.

Maybe make some new friends for more regular meet ups, but keep a loose contact, with as little or as much effort as you are willing to put into it with these older friends!

pangolina Thu 03-Nov-16 22:01:28

I'd be annoyed. Will you be disappointed if none of them step up to arrange the night out, or will you be truly happy to not go? If so, maybe the friendship has run its course.
Do you miss them as people or are you feeling the sting that they seem to have drifted?

Rollonbedtime7pm Thu 03-Nov-16 22:10:29

I do miss them - in a way, it is a shame for the kids as they were great little mates but I hoped we were also friends separate from that. I totally appreciate that the kids will meet new and closer friends and school (the older ones have) but don't see why that should automatically mean that we can't even exchange text messages anymore?!

They came to DD's party last month and it was like old times so can't see that they are suddenly 'in a different place' to me with the new baby (and DD is hardly a "younger child" - we're talking weeks between them all) when they seemed fine before.

We went through a lot together when the kids were babies and we each had our own struggles and it just seems a shame that no one seems to care anymore sad

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