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Term time wedding abroad exDP

(16 Posts)
gininteacupsandleavesonthelawn Wed 02-Nov-16 17:40:13

So... I'd like some views, I'll try to keep it short:

ExDPs sister is getting married, they've decided to get married in US in term time. (Were in U.K.)

DP and I have already declined a very close friends wedding in term time next year as DD is at school.

DP and I are discussing our own wedding and again, planning to do so when we can honeymoon in school hols.

I'm also not confident of DP and family taking 7yo DD to a major US city where they are all going to be drinking etc.

AIBU to say she can't go? I initially said no purely due to term time but if I'm honest I wouldn't be thrilled about it any time.

Lilaclily Wed 02-Nov-16 17:41:14

Can you just say school won't let her have the time off ?

NickiFury Wed 02-Nov-16 17:41:41

No way would I let this happen for all the reasons you describe.

gininteacupsandleavesonthelawn Wed 02-Nov-16 17:42:29

Should say exDP and family

gininteacupsandleavesonthelawn Wed 02-Nov-16 17:50:27

School won't approve, but I can't imagine he'll be that bothered that it's unauthorised. He's a good dad if a bit irresponsible, we actually get on really well but not with his family so worried that's clouding my judgement

Quimby Wed 02-Nov-16 17:55:18

I think it's incredibly U to stop her attending her aunties wedding if the objections posted so far are the extent of it.

gininteacupsandleavesonthelawn Wed 02-Nov-16 17:56:08

Surely if her aunts was that. Otheres she wouldn't have booked it for term time 3000 miles away?

gininteacupsandleavesonthelawn Wed 02-Nov-16 17:56:41


luckylucky24 Wed 02-Nov-16 17:58:14

I wouldn't want her to go either but I tend to be unreasonable about these things...

nennyrainbow Wed 02-Nov-16 18:04:24

Given the travel distance, I wouldn't have thought her aunt would be offended if she didn't go. Does she know her aunt well?

AGruffaloCrumble Wed 02-Nov-16 18:06:27

YANBU OP. It wouldn't be happening on my watch.

gininteacupsandleavesonthelawn Wed 02-Nov-16 18:14:14

She knows her aunt well, however she's 23 with no kids/real responsibility and hates me so I doubt will be applying logic

Sirzy Wed 02-Nov-16 18:16:24

I wouldn't be keen on her going that far for a term time wedding - I assume it's not going to be just a few days out of school?

If he insists on going I assume he will be paying the fine?

Lewwat Wed 02-Nov-16 18:24:55

You you take dd if it was your sister getting married?

WhereYouLeftIt Wed 02-Nov-16 18:48:51

YANBU. Putting aside all the personal stuff, people who decide to hold their wedding in a far away place have to accept that not everyone can make it.

For your own circumstances -

At age 7 I would probably have no problem taking her out of school for a family wedding. (But your Ex should shoulder any fine imposed for it.)

But -

Who's paying for your daughter's flight etc? Because it should not be you! And who's looking after her en route? Because small children on long flights have the potential to be a nightmare. Would her dad (or other carer) be up to dealing with that without throwing a tantrum themselves? And who's looking after her when she's there? Because it should not be someone pissed!

You clearly don't trust his family to care for her whilst at this wedding. You know them, I don't. Go with your gut.

gininteacupsandleavesonthelawn Wed 02-Nov-16 18:59:46

Lewwat my sister is a teacher so wouldn't organise a term time wedding, I think we've already proved we wouldn't by declining close friends (which we'd have loved to go to)

It'd be a whole week with at least an extra day or so for jet lag adjustment on way back. I'd worry the whole time.

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