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AIBU to say f**k it and start mat leave really early?

(35 Posts)
Heatherbell1978 Wed 26-Oct-16 07:36:55

I'm 22 wks pregnant and work in a highly stressed role - I've always worked in 'stressed jobs' but this one which I started in March really takes the biscuit. I work in project management - project is horrendous, senior management are a joke and I'm constantly having to pick up work that isn't mine to pick up.
DD1 due end of February and I was planning to leave at 36wks (end Jan). With DS1 I left work at 35 wks and was a bit bored tbh as he arrived at 41 wks. This pregnancy has been easy so far again but I'm really tired, days start at 5.30am and I have a toddler at home too (DH is great so no complaints there).
I'm seriously thinking of just packing it in at Xmas when I'll only be 31 weeks although there's loads to do on the project in January and I know they're keen for me to work through January.
We could afford it which is good but it's obvious I'm only doing it to get out of the workload.
AIBU to do this or would you just stick at it and not take the financial hit (or piss management off)?

Oatsinajar Wed 26-Oct-16 07:38:34

Go for it, as long as you've got childcare for your DS smile

VulvaInLaw Wed 26-Oct-16 07:39:50

I would do it. That feeling at Christmas of not going back to work will be amazing smile could you take annual leave for January if you didn't want to actually start your mat leave?

RedHelenB Wed 26-Oct-16 07:40:03

You will get bored though, especially if baby is late!

NickyEds Wed 26-Oct-16 07:41:50

What is your maternity package like? Most people get a fixed amount of time so taking it early just means returning early? As long as I could manage physically I'd chose time with the baby over point scoring with the boss! Sorry op, such early starts sound like the pits when pregnant.

Bishybishybarnabee Wed 26-Oct-16 07:42:09

I finished at 31 weeks and loved it. If you can and you want to then do it. I made sure I had plenty to do so didn't get bored (although with a toddler that's probably less of an issue!)

PosiePootlePerkins Wed 26-Oct-16 07:42:18

I'd say do it if you can afford it, I went at 29 weeks for similar reasons, however I had no intention of returning, obviously if you're going back then you need to think about implications for returning earlier. But definitely put yourself and your toddler first if you can make it work.

Oatsinajar Wed 26-Oct-16 07:43:11

I went on maternity leave early at 33 weeks and it was the best thing I did. Those 7 weeks of complete and utter bliss smile

NickyEds Wed 26-Oct-16 07:43:42

Also, are you planning on going back? If you are you might need some flexibility from these people you've pissed off.

user1472419718 Wed 26-Oct-16 07:43:52

It's up to you but my concern would be that if you go on ML so early, you will have less time to spend with DD after the birth and you might have to go back before you want to.

Is there anything you could do for the last month that would help reduce the stress but still allow you to stay in work?

E.g. flexible working- reduce your hours temporarily either fewer hours per day (so you don't need to be up so early) or cut down on your number of days. Could you work from home a couple of days a week (would cutting out the commute time help?) The financial hit would be a bit smaller, and management might prefer it (but remember your needs come before managements)

Heatherbell1978 Wed 26-Oct-16 07:45:44

I have enough holiday due next year that I can effectively take Jan and Feb as holidays and start mat leave on my due date. I'd still go back in Jan 18 so it just means that rather than take Dec 17 as holiday, I'd take that in Jan 17 so I'd lose a month pay. I could take longer off but I'd like DD to start nursery around the same time as DS (10/11 months) as that worked well for us.

WeirdButTrue Wed 26-Oct-16 07:50:38

Ah it's a toughy - don't think you'd be bored in the way you were with your ds because you'll have him already at home to care for and enjoy time with on your mat leave. But on the other hand time you take ahead of the birth means less time after. Would an alternative be taking say a 2 week hol at Christmas so that the final push of jan didn't seem so bad to get through? Also knowing that you could change your mind and kick in the early start of Mat leave with only a few days notice if necessary? I'm only playing devils advocate though, do what you need to do and don't think about your work/managers.

salemtheteenagecat Wed 26-Oct-16 07:50:58

I have done this I finished at 31 weeks and used holiday and started maternity leave from oct due next week.

I can honestly say best decision I've ever made I hated work was stressed before being pregnant and could help but still get worked up! People around me have noticed a huge difference from me not being at a work and feel very relaxed.

Is the stress worth it in the long run? I didn't think so smile

Heatherbell1978 Wed 26-Oct-16 07:52:28

Oh and yes I can work from home; I'd planned to do a fair amount of that in January to save commuting in bad weather but I'd still be in back to back calls with no time for lunch etc so doesn't really lessen the workload unfortunately.

DubiousCredentials Wed 26-Oct-16 07:56:15

I finished at 28wks for similar reasons. Best decision I ever made. I had 10 blissful weeks before dc arrived, no question of being bored but obviously everyone is different I am lazy.

Shiraznowplease Wed 26-Oct-16 08:01:27

I work in a stressful job and I gave up the beginning of December when I was 32 weeks but ds was two weeks late and to be honest I was super bored and spent a fortune internet shopping 🙈🙈 I found that I actually missed the stress

user1477282676 Wed 26-Oct-16 08:08:28

I did it OP! No regrets. I couldn't cope with my commute any was terrible! Mid winter, London buses and tubes...awful!

R0bins Wed 26-Oct-16 08:08:46

I'd say do it... I finished at 31/32 weeks because I just couldn't cope with work any more. Have had quite a difficult pregnancy and just needed those few days with DC1 in nursery each week to sleep and recover from months of stress and exhaustion. Health and sanity come first, in my book - enjoy a bit of peace and quiet while you can!

bettycat81 Wed 26-Oct-16 08:09:05

I went at 29 weeks as I was feeling very stressed and tired. Day 1 of leave had a call back to the doctors because my iron was low, once I was on supplements I felt much better.... and really enjoyed the extra leave smile

ANewStartOverseas Wed 26-Oct-16 08:11:53

I can't see the issue. It's up to you to decide what is best for you in terms of pregnancy and when to stop.

The one thing I would say though is that it is likely that the problems you have atm will the same when yOu go back. The issue here isn't your go but the work and in normal circumstances, the solution is to find another job.
So yes, take time off but then I would look for another job for when you go back.

PP have a point about the risk getting bored, esp if you are used to work full on in a high pressure job. I would think carefully about what you will do and if you won't end up feeling bored or isolated.

ANewStartOverseas Wed 26-Oct-16 08:13:33

Btw I did that too with dc2. Work really was the issue rather than the pg.
A really good thing to do but I didn't go back to my old job because I was made redundant whilst on ML. I chose to do something completely different instead.

MyGiddyUncle Wed 26-Oct-16 08:18:18

I wouldn' seems like such a waste of leave to me.

With both pregnancies (and planning to with this one, due in May), i've worked as late as possible because I want the leave with the baby not when i'm sitting on my own at home.

I'm due 16/05 though and planning to start leave 15/05 shock grin so I might not be the best person to give advice as most people think i'm nuts.

gunting Wed 26-Oct-16 08:20:32

I left for mat leave at 37 weeks and my son was born 9 days overdue. I was so bloody bored. If you can keep yourself occupied then go for it.

UnderCoverGuvnor Wed 26-Oct-16 08:24:29

Do it !!! Enjoy the time with your ds before the baby arrives, it's time you will never have again. Christmas sounds like the ideal time to finish.

Hedgehog80 Wed 26-Oct-16 08:32:21

You won't be bored ! It will be amazing, time with your ds, no stress, no early starts so less tiredness, etc etc. Go for it !

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