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More of wwyd about friend and new 'd' p

(4 Posts)
Bumblebum123 Thu 20-Oct-16 12:20:13

So my best friend met someone on the internet around 1 month ago after speaking for maybe 1 week, 2 tops. Already I can see a change in my friend, she is normally the type of person who wakes up literally bouncing off the walls, always happy (I know that depression can often be hidden by a smile but dont think she has been before, she is too open and honest, even when it offends people) but since she has met this man she has to me been utterly miserable and quite horrible. She is a fantastic mum but has already introduced her toddler dd to this man, a couple of weeks ago I was with them all and her dp was picking up her daughter and kissing her which although I havent said to her, in my opinion its far too soon and I dont agree with it. He has already let her and her dd down by ignoring her when they were supposed to be doing a family activity together and he has also done things illegally which he has involved my friend in (she was unaware before and at the time only found out after these events happened, dont want to go into detail but think drugs and theft) I dont think he is being abusive- yet, but can see it leading to that, not sure if its cos its a new relationship or not but he just wont leave her alone, constantly ringing her to see what she is doing ect. Im genuinely concerned, I have mentioned to friend that I have noticed her being down recently and have shown her concern when she told me about things but not much more as I dont think its upto me to tell my adult friend what to do.
What would you do? Not sure if theres anything I can do really but im also concerned about how this relationship is going to affect her daughter who I care about and also love.

milliemolliemou Thu 20-Oct-16 14:21:20

Talk to her and keep the lines open. Ask her why she's seeing someone who could get her in to big trouble if he's stashing stuff at her place or using her name/house/contacts for deals. Ask her why she thought he ignored her during a family activity. And why he's phoning her all the time. Just go gently at the moment.

MyPatronusIsABadger Thu 20-Oct-16 14:33:08

Agree, be very gentle, don't openly criticise. Just ask or raise questions, let her come to the conclusion. Maybe suggest a night in together as you've missed her so it's ybu and missing her not an intervention.

Aeroflotgirl Thu 20-Oct-16 14:36:09

It could could be the start of him being abusive to her, and mabey her dd. Keep lines open, if you witness or hear about anything that could mean her dd is in danger, please report to SS or Police.

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